To have spent £110 on DGS1 (5) this Christmas and £16 on DGS2 (8 months)?

[Sneezecakesmum]

Sounds horrendous but

DGS1 has cerebral palsy and has a special place in my heart.

DGS1 has had tons of toys from me and others still new as he simply can't manage to use them, plus more toys than normal as we've struggled to find something he can use. DGS2 lives in a virtual toy shop!

DGS2 will probably be happier with the boxes and paper!

I'm just hoping my DD and DSIL will see this or will they think I have BU?

[Sneezecakesmum]

No I won't be able to do that soon and they will have equal amounts! And if DGS1 can't manage the scalextric then DGS2 will be a very spoilt boy!

[GreenShadowsOfTheChristmasTree]

If I was the parent, the difference wouldn't bother me in the slightest. In fact as the parent, I'd probably be doing the same. There is rarely any need to spend a lot on a tiny child who has already inherited his brother's toys and doesn't know any better.

But I might be slightly concerned that you had spent so much in the first place. Would it be a good idea to put some money into savings for the children's futures next time instead of spending so much on toys?

[Toocold]

I feel for your DGS2, when you keep saying DGS1 is your special boy, he is your daughters boy, not yours, he is your special grandson, I sincerely hope DGS2 grows on you, because it will become obvious even at this age and could have a lasting impact on his confidence. I hope he grows on you, I expect he will as he gets older and gets a voice.

[Heathcliff27]

Posts are going too fast, it was allnew's post I was agreeing with. Bowing out now as I am starting to get annoyed.

[Casmama]

Who is the mother of these kids your dil or your dd?
I think the fact they are brothers makes it ok but as they get older you will need to make sure it is more even and do not say to any of your family about DGS1 having a Percival place in your heart.

[allnewtaketwo]

Children always know when they're not the "special one" and it does untold permanent damage

[Sneezecakesmum]

Toocold. The baby has tons of clothes unworn by the older one. He has a super rear facing child seat ready to go into. I have a small britax for him for my car as well as a bigger one for the older boy . He really has tons of stuff. A lovely big water/sand toy for the garden which has never been used. I just tried so many things in the hope DGS 1 could physically access toys, which didn't work.

[DustyBaubles]

I know you mean well, and the baby is only young, but you are setting everyone up for huge resentment here.

It is really hard for a child who has a sibling with SN. With the best will in the world, even the most chilled child will have issues with how much time/care/accommodation etc. their sibling needs.

Announcing that the younger one can just have stuff the older one couldn't cope with is a bit crap.

Painting a flowery picture of the suffering and hardships endured by your 'special boy' won't go down well with the parents either.

I'd tone the whole thing right down if I were you.

[allnewtaketwo]

You sound extremely resentful towards the younger child. It is not the younger child's fault that the eldest child has CP

[Sneezecakesmum]

I do save for the boys, and am leaving my house to the older one as he won't be able to work in the normal way. My children can sort themselves out.

[Jinty64]

I think, as they are brothers, it's ok. The baby will get everything his brother outgrows.

[ImAlpharius]

So because you choose to 'spoil' DGS1, DGS2 doesn't need anything but hand me downs, rather than things chosen with him in mind, because you always have his older brother in mind?

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

You really dont sound resentful of the baby at all OP.

[PartPixie]

Agree with others that you are playing favourites and that is very unfair. Dgs2 will pick up on that earlier than you think. Speak to their parents and ask for suggestions for what to get dgs2, he has lots of toys but they were all bought with dgs1 in mind not him. Or as it his first Xmas you could get him a nice keepsake. If there isn't anything then put the money in a saving account.

The difference is too big, your playing favourites and if I were there parents I would notice. You should speak to them. If they say no don't bother then that I fine but you need to show an interest.

[AngelsLieToKeepControl]

^ what allnew said

[trinity0097]

I have a colleague who has 4 children, she said that some years one child gets more spent on them, but over the course of a few years it evens itself out. The children understand this and know that mega special gifts are not annual!

[Sneezecakesmum]

Please understand. I adore my baby grandson too. He is gorgeous and squidgy and cute and funny. I just don't feel he needs anything other than lots of love and cuddles at this age, which he gets plenty of from me too

[MrsTerrysChocolateOrange]

You're leaving your house to one and not the other

[honeybunny14]

Yabvvvu

[PartPixie]

• their.

[Heathcliff27]

And it gets better, leaving your house to elder GS??

[Mckayz]

You are coming across as really quite nasty.

I feel very sorry for your Grandsons

[MrsTerrysChocolateOrange]

If that's the case, this is the biggest drip feed in the history of MN.

[Sneezecakesmum]

Allnew... I am neither a troll or a bitch