to just be bored of it?

[LimitedEditionLady]

I am sure many people share my angst here.I am SICK TO DEATH of asking him to do one sinple job and it taking him seven days with my consistently reminding him to do it for it to get done.He does NOTHING in the house,no diy,nothing and the little jobs like just washing a cup he simply leaves for me.So i say to him yesterday " you know its getting really boring having to remind you constantly" so he tells me im boring for nagging him.Erm....I just asked you to do a simple job and you havent done it as per usual so that your fault is it not?I am just fed up of basically having to run the house,finances,sort out ds alone and looking after a 30 year old man like a teenager.He goes to work but apart from that he does nothing so why is everything my responsibility??aibu.

Part of what I have learnt and can see is that relationship love goggles can go only quite early in a relationship, so it is important to attempt to nail down domestic ground rules earlier than I thought. Though even that is no absolute guarantee of everything.

I have just passed up the opportunity of a promotion at work as it would have meant a return to full time working. This is largely due to the family responsibility I feel and the amount of time and effort I put in to organizing family life. I earn more than my DH and the promotion would have come with a company car so would have been good for our family in that respect. But, I felt I would break if I had to take any more on. My husband does wash up and help with kids and does the traditionally male jobs but he makes no decisions. The management of our family is entirely down to me.

YANBU. But a lot of men are like this. Just give a deadline like please do it now. I asked DH to take out a bin. This doing it later nonsense. If you want something done you want it now not in an hour's time or a week's time or a year's time. Nothing seems to change very much.

Vivienne. But the whole thread is about asking them to do it, now later, 3 weeks later, and they dont do it.
Then what.

This thread is so interesting - I love reading different opinions people have. I definitely think it's a deeply ingrained cultural thing. Plus, men are generally happy to live amongst mess whereas women aren't. I'd love to move out for two weeks and let my husband see what happens when day to day maintenance of the house isn't done.

Mydoor, how do you feel about turning down the promotion, you are the breadwinner a male breadwinner would always feel justified in pursuing his career.

This is your chance to have more power and status, to gain professional esteem.

Jeans, maybe a new generation of women will refuse to get trapped in domesticity, refuse to have babies and cohabit?

Vivienne, even if he does the thing you've asked him to do the point is that you had to ask.

That means you are the person responsible for domestic life.

Is it not the case Mydoor that you are being held back because your success would make your husband feel a failure or less of a man.

That he just can't handle being beaten by a girl?