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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To complain about this??

579 replies

absentmindeddooooodles · 11/12/2013 16:55

My ds is 2.9. He goes to the nursery down the road one day a week. ( cannot afford for him to go any more regularly) just to get socialised and to try and work on seperation anxiety. velcro child syndrome

Went to pick him up today and was met by three of the nursery workers "wanting to have a talk".

This got me really worried as they looked very....strict. like I was being bloody told off.

To cut a long story short....they told me that as my son is still in nappies I would have to think about taking him out of nursery until the problem is sorted!! ( problem him not being potty trained)

They talked for a good ten mins about how its an inconvenience to them having such a big boy needing constant monitoring incase hes done a poo.

I didnt want to get into an argument and never would infront of all the kids, but did put across a couple of points:
. He is in "the baby room" as they call it. Babies from birth to 3 years. There are fewer older toddlers than babies....so I imagine they should be all set up forpchanging nappies.
.theybe never said anything to me before about him being in nappies being an issue. I have even had discussions with his keyworker about the favt that I had tried potty training him but he got a v bad bout of chicken pox right in the middle of it so we have gone back to square one.
. I dont personally think he's too old to be in nappies. He's not 3 until april and as long as he isn't rocking up to his first day of school in pampers Its fine.
. He is currently undergoing a diagnnosis for adhd and possibly as. It's bloody hard enough to get through the day without making him do something hes not ready to.

Their response to all the above was that he is more than old enough to be using a toilet and by him not doing this its taking time away from the babies who actually need looking after!!!!!

Out of the three of them who spoke to me....the youngest one ( about 16 on placement) told me it was disgusting to have to clean up a fully grown childs poo!

Im reeling and actually v embarassed as there were quite a few other parents round while this was going on.

Now I know ianbu to not be impressed with the way this was dealt with......but aibu to not have potty trained him by now?

Should he be totally out of nappies by this age? This is my first dc and moat friends dc are younger thn mine. A family member had their dd totally dry through the night by 2.5....but all kids are different.....surely its down to the individual?

Im sorry this has been so epically long...but am at a loss!
.

OP posts:
asmallandnoisymonkey · 18/12/2013 17:26

Keep strong! I'd love to come round and chuck the mopeds through the front windows. Obvs not going to happen cos I'm 5 nothing and really hobbitlike. Really want to though shakes fist

msrisotto · 18/12/2013 17:41

Leave a notice saying their vehicles will be towed without further notice if left on your property.

EQ2Junkie · 18/12/2013 17:56

Too late now but do get onto the council asap.

She is stepping up her actions not learning from them. She thinks she can do what she wants so may well escalate.

Tight as finances are can you get some sort of a camera to view your house back and front?

Just in case...

absentmindeddooooodles · 18/12/2013 19:09

I like the sound of a heard of tall burly men :p

Rigjt. Police have been and gone. Not very helpful tbh.

Next door have claimed that I gave permission for all of them to park on the drive as a long term arrangement.

This is categorically not true. Told the police this. They said that it would probably be an idea to come to some arrangement betwewn ndn and ourselves. Basically the police said it would be the neighbourly thing to do to let them park two mopeds on our drive as the have no parking space. ( no pavement parking spaces as double yellows) thats only outside the house though. Go 6 doors doen and you can paek on the street.

Anyway. Told the police that I wouldnt be doing thatm we need the space for our car and then to get in and out of the gate plus we have a recovery truck parked therw 3 days a week. ( could at a push park two cars on the drive but then have to properly squeeze out the doors etc)

Police said fine, that was our choice. They cannot do anything about it but have told ndn not to park on our drive without permission. ( she does not drive its just all her friends)

Also said that if we have any more problems to raise it with 101. Helpful.

On the upside ds has had the most humongous bowl of pasta and is alot happier :)

Would love to beable to buy a camera but genuinley do not have evwn enough to cover food right now due to dps accident and change of jobs.

Next time they do it though I will take photos. ( have a camera here that can have the date on, or could do it onphone) already have photos of this time but iirrelevant as police saw it for themselves.

OP posts:
absentmindeddooooodles · 18/12/2013 19:10

Dp worked for a recovery business for a while ans still o has use of a recovery truck. I will put a sign up ( thanks gor that idea!) Would love to see their faces if all their precious peds were piled on the back!!

OP posts:
EQ2Junkie · 18/12/2013 19:23

if it happens again get the registration numbers and photos.

She is using this to harass and bully you. Report it every time to the police and include copies of the pictures and police contacts to the council.

msrisotto · 18/12/2013 20:54

Well it's private property after all. I don't see why you shouldn't!

Anniegetyourgun · 18/12/2013 21:14

If you are struggling to afford food atm you really should not have a puppy.

Unless you're fattening it up for Christmas...

in which case you really should not have a puppy.

absentmindeddooooodles · 18/12/2013 21:52

The puppy was initially here until he found a home as the rescue here was full. The people who bought him ( as a present for someone else who didnt want him.....the idiots) are supplying us woth food and have payed vets bills as theyd rather he have a home with us than go to the next nearest rescue. Believe me we wouldnt uave taken on a pup in this financial state. But hes insured and having everything payed for. ( more money than sense)

Music hasn't come on tonight so thats one thing!! :)

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 18/12/2013 21:58

Well in that case I hope he is a very large breed that is soppy with children but has a HUGE bark if anyone encroaches on his territory (like, say, to take an example totally at random, parks a collection of mopeds on your drive).

absentmindeddooooodles · 18/12/2013 22:05

Unfortunatley he is a tiny wrinkly floppy eared wuss of a beagle. But I do have a rather pissed of cat :)

OP posts:
Iamsparklyknickers · 18/12/2013 22:08

God she sounds like a nightmare.

Keep a good diary of events (the police didn't leave anything you could use as evidence of the incident did they?), and initiate contact with whoever her landlord is.

It's a slow process, but I'd feel better knowing that I might be able to get her moved away from me eventually.

Tapiocapearl · 18/12/2013 23:24

If the ndn continues obstructing your exit with the bikes after permission has been refused contact the college to let them know that ndn is taking things further as a direct result of the nursery issues complaint. Give a police incident number.

DameDeepRedBetty · 19/12/2013 08:53

Bloody hell OP!

The average soap opera editor would turn this storyline down as too far fetched!

So what's on your drive this morning?

cloutiedumpling · 19/12/2013 10:45

I've never been on a moped. Do you need the keys to move one? If not, even if they park just one or two on the drive I'd be tempted to move them onto the double yellow lines (if you can actually get out of the gate).

absentmindeddooooodles · 19/12/2013 11:56

No mopeds on drive today!! Woop! But no-one in next door so will see what the evening brings. Music was on this morning at bloody 6am. We were already up so I let ds practice with his toy tools on the bedroom wall :)

I know it sounds like a bloody soap opera. I seem to attract the wierdos. ( trying not to take it personally. Haha)

Crazy mil came over today. She ranted and raved and bought me a pair of socks to cheer me up. ( actually much apprecoated as the damn dog has eaten most of mine)

On another note whats the weather like for everyone in the sw? Storm stopped overnight but back with a vengence! Two ( thankfully) short powercuts in the last hour. The cat has decided to surgically attach herself tome as she does not like thunder, which has resulted in numerous puncture wounds. ( may sslight over exagdurattion

OP posts:
absentmindeddooooodles · 19/12/2013 11:56

Dont even know what happend to the spelling etc in that last sentence!

OP posts:
oscarwilde · 19/12/2013 12:59

Ultimate revenge. You could tell your MIL that ndn is getting married and needs a wedding planner?.....

DameDeepRedBetty · 20/12/2013 09:13

Sky was very red this morning (Wiltshire), so I fear were in for more of it later.

What did the evening bring in the way of mopeds, loud music and general insanity?

DameDeepRedBetty · 20/12/2013 09:13

we're

QuintessentialShadows · 20/12/2013 23:14

Those mopeds a handful of lumps of Sugar added to the petrol tank.

Use gloves.

That should sweeten the situation. Just ONE at the time.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 21/12/2013 09:56

I really hope things are calm for you over the weekend and over Christmas!

MakeTeaNotWar · 03/01/2014 15:09

How was your Christmas OP, have things been resolved yet?

SofaKing · 03/01/2014 16:21

Hi op, read this open mouthed, hope you and DS are OK.

pigletmania · 03/01/2014 16:24

Yanbu at all. They sound like lazy gits who cannot be bothered. That would be a deal breaker, I would look for anoypther nursery, they don't sound good