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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To complain about this??

579 replies

absentmindeddooooodles · 11/12/2013 16:55

My ds is 2.9. He goes to the nursery down the road one day a week. ( cannot afford for him to go any more regularly) just to get socialised and to try and work on seperation anxiety. velcro child syndrome

Went to pick him up today and was met by three of the nursery workers "wanting to have a talk".

This got me really worried as they looked very....strict. like I was being bloody told off.

To cut a long story short....they told me that as my son is still in nappies I would have to think about taking him out of nursery until the problem is sorted!! ( problem him not being potty trained)

They talked for a good ten mins about how its an inconvenience to them having such a big boy needing constant monitoring incase hes done a poo.

I didnt want to get into an argument and never would infront of all the kids, but did put across a couple of points:
. He is in "the baby room" as they call it. Babies from birth to 3 years. There are fewer older toddlers than babies....so I imagine they should be all set up forpchanging nappies.
.theybe never said anything to me before about him being in nappies being an issue. I have even had discussions with his keyworker about the favt that I had tried potty training him but he got a v bad bout of chicken pox right in the middle of it so we have gone back to square one.
. I dont personally think he's too old to be in nappies. He's not 3 until april and as long as he isn't rocking up to his first day of school in pampers Its fine.
. He is currently undergoing a diagnnosis for adhd and possibly as. It's bloody hard enough to get through the day without making him do something hes not ready to.

Their response to all the above was that he is more than old enough to be using a toilet and by him not doing this its taking time away from the babies who actually need looking after!!!!!

Out of the three of them who spoke to me....the youngest one ( about 16 on placement) told me it was disgusting to have to clean up a fully grown childs poo!

Im reeling and actually v embarassed as there were quite a few other parents round while this was going on.

Now I know ianbu to not be impressed with the way this was dealt with......but aibu to not have potty trained him by now?

Should he be totally out of nappies by this age? This is my first dc and moat friends dc are younger thn mine. A family member had their dd totally dry through the night by 2.5....but all kids are different.....surely its down to the individual?

Im sorry this has been so epically long...but am at a loss!
.

OP posts:
absentmindeddooooodles · 18/12/2013 13:06

Hi :)

Hqve phoned 101 today. Its horrwndous weather here ( real tie everuthing down kind of storm) dp went to work at 6 this morning and there were 2 mopeds blocking the drive. The only way to get out was over the fence ( v high so he could climb it) he text me to let me k ow as had docs appointment at 10 today and theres no way me and ds could get over the wall. So he moved them slightly so that I would beable to get out of the gate.

Went out there at 8am and there were 4 deliberatley pushed up to our gate. There was no possible way I could get out. Tried everything. ( dont have a bloody ladder...would have been useful)

So rang 201. They said they would come and move them before docs but never did. 3 phonecalls later they said they wont beable to gwt to us until 5pm tonight.

The bikes are on our private property. Dp owns this house and the drive. Theres no need for anyone to ever come onto the drive unless coming jnto our house.

So me and ds are stuck in the house all day. Hardly any bloody food in so starving. Missed docs appt that we waited 3 weeks for. ( flu jab for ds and blood tests for me)

Im so angry. Am a fucking prisoner in my own house. Ndn isnt even home. Theres no-one there.

Sorry this is so mumbled. Probably makes no sense but im absolutely fuming.

OP posts:
absentmindeddooooodles · 18/12/2013 13:11

Just to clarify.... we have a fence at the front seperating the garden and the drive....and a wall at either side enclosing the garden. Gate is too high to climb and cant open it at all as bikes are pushed up literally onto the gate. Wedged right into it.

Theres back access that we share with ndn ( terraved houses) but the house 2 doors down is so overgrown and run down that theres just a wall of rubble and brambles and sewage that they refuse to fix ( have reported this to environmental health and council so many times along with the rest of the street) so no access that way ( has been no access for well over 2 years) each house has a small backyard seperated by ahip heigjt wall and then theres a good 9ft high wall at the back as it drops down to more hpuses built on a lower level.

OP posts:
ashamedoverthinker · 18/12/2013 13:14

How awful for you, I hope they come soon to helo you.

Is there anyone you can ring to bring food round.

Have you took your pics? Would you be able to borrow some CCTV. This must be quite stressful.

PurplePidjin · 18/12/2013 13:24

Report the mopeds as stolen and dumped on your property. Ring social services to bring a food parcel as your ds is starving (a bit of melodrama never hurts in these situations). Keep ringing and make a fuss, tge squeaky wheel gets the oil!

oscarwilde · 18/12/2013 13:35

Can you call the fire brigade? You are effectively trapped in your own home.
I would pour sand in their engines/hammer a nail in their tyres myself.

HoHoHopasholic · 18/12/2013 13:43

Bloody hell! I'd set fire to them! Well not really but I'd feel like it. Is she in? I would contact her landlord too if you know how to.

LeafyGreen13 · 18/12/2013 13:56

Call the police back and tell them that if they aren't with you within 30 minutes then you will have no choice but to call the fire brigade. You are trapped with a small child and no food. That is utterly terrible :(

titchy · 18/12/2013 14:05

Phone police and get them towed. Police maybe more likely to respond if they know they'll make some money out of clamping or release fees.

absentmindeddooooodles · 18/12/2013 14:09

Oscar....mad mil is at work. Finishes at 4 though so shes coming straight over guns blazing. ( helps to have a lunatic in the family now and again. Haha)

Ive tried everything with 101. They just keep saying thatthey cannot get here until 5. Last time I called thay said that all officers in area were dealing with things the storm has caused.

Ds is actually quite hungry bless him. All we had in was last piece of bread and some breadsticks. ( I know that sounds awful but its all a bit tough at the mo) had a couple of quid to go and get him some lunch and dinner.

My mum has all her end of term meetings today so shes not even been available to answer the phone. No-one else unfortunatley, not close enough. :/

Ndn has come home and ive tried ringing her but no answer.

Me and ds arnt going to starve etc between now and 5....its just so upsetting that one very silly little girl can reduce me to this. Not being able to physically leave myhouse and ds going hungry. Again its not the end of the workld, hell have a nice big dinner and be fine, but its just actually quite scary how people can affect your life. :(

Should I genuinley phone the fire brigade?

You have no idea how tempted I am to pour a big bucket of paint over the damn mopeds.

OP posts:
OHforDUCKSchristmasCake · 18/12/2013 14:14

absent I lived above someone just like that for 3 years.

She would have massive parties, get absolutely shit faced, ignore my please to turn it down, be dead to the world when her baby woke in the morning, Id hear him cry for hours.

In the mornings I would try and speak to her and she'd deny everything. She had genuinely no reccollection of her abuse or actions or music the night before.

She attack me once, repetatively slammed my head into concrete floor.

I called the police a few times, they got SS involved, she lost the kids for 7 days.

I dont know the ins and outs of what happened but the agency was the same so I complained to them and they eventually evicted her.

Take photos, record the noise and call her landlord if you know them.

babybythesea · 18/12/2013 14:15

Roughly what area are you in OP? (Southwest/Scotland etc - no need for more details than that). It's just it's stormy here to so I'm wondering if I'm in the same area, in which case I may be able to help....

absentmindeddooooodles · 18/12/2013 14:29

Duck that sounds awful. So glad you got it sorted out. Unfortunatley dont know the landlord. Do know that the council pays her rent though. Well, the landlord rents it to the council rather. Maybe I could call them instead? I have no idea how to go about that but could do some googling.

Baby thats so kind. Am in the southwest. :) if you are around here would not advise going outside right now though. Tis actually getting really bad!!

OP posts:
oscarwilde · 18/12/2013 14:58

I would call the local fire station directly rather than 999. If you explain the situation they may be able to pop around if they don't have an emergency or swing by on the way back from the endless fake calls they have to deal with.

Or you could firebomb the mopeds and wait for someone else to call them..... Xmas Hmm

Do you really not know a soul around during the day that you can call to help out? Even someone working a couple of miles away could be over to you and back at work within 30 mins. How far away is DH? That's really baffling to me and I live in central london where "no-one speaks to each other".

PurplePidjin · 18/12/2013 15:11

Seriously, make a fuss. this is going to happen tomorrow and the next day and the day after. She thinks she's right, and she's waging a war of attrition against the evil forces of party-prevention. Stop being nice, she isn't, and get this stopped now!

Council, fire service, keep on the phone to the cops, anyone and everyone who will log her anti-social behaviour Angry

absentmindeddooooodles · 18/12/2013 15:28

All of ky close friend from college movwd away as job prospects are so bad down here.

I dont onow anyone in this town at all. I know two people in the town 10 miles away. One of whom has just had a baby ( 2 days ago by emcs) so wouldnt dreak of ringing her, and the other works at the hospital and categorically cannot leave work. My brother is at uni. ( in the same county but does not drive ) and my sister isnt bavk from uni up country yet. Bus services have mostly been delayed and cancellwd today as the weather has been getting worse. :/

Dp's commute is 34 miles each way. So with tje weather the way it is it would take him forever. ( plus his students still have not broken up....last day today. So woupd have to arrange cover. )

Im friendly with people from the shop over the road and am working on getting the number ( specific store not on internet but is a big company so hopefully they can get me tue right number)

Made me realise how many people have drifted away. So hard to make and maintain friendships.....until I drive public transport is too expensive for me to use. Not in the middle of nowhere here, but not in a big town either.
Bloody lonely but ds gets socialised so time to work on ke soon I think!

OP posts:
babybythesea · 18/12/2013 15:50

absent - I've pm'ed you.

GimmeDaBoobehz · 18/12/2013 15:56

I'm in the Southwest too, currently in Dorset. It's pretty horrible at the moment here I must confess but if you live anywhere near I could try and get some food up to you? I have crisps, biscuits, bananas, bread, cheese etc.

I really hope the police take this seriously, it's just ridiculous how this is affecting you and DS.

Thinking of you.
Thanks

LoopyLobster · 18/12/2013 16:05

What a nightmare :(

seafoodudon · 18/12/2013 16:17

I totally agree with others re calling fire brigade and ss. When you called the police did you mention you had a baby in the house and no food? This should be reported as imprisonment and potentially also gbh or abh due to starvation_ sorry I can never remember which is the less dramatic. It sounds melodramatic I know but this is potentially such a dangerous situation.

DevonFolk · 18/12/2013 16:50

OP I'm South Devon. PM me if that's anywhere near you and I can do anything. This whole situation sounds just horrible :(

PurplePidjin · 18/12/2013 17:18

I'm east of Gimme with no car (in for a service) so probably not very close as the rain only hit here late this afternoon. But in case it's any use i have a 13mo and a network of mum friends you're welcome to join Xmas Smile

cfc · 18/12/2013 17:19

I'm in the SW too. Happy to come along and provide some support.

If you're Salisbury let me know lovely.

absentmindeddooooodles · 18/12/2013 17:19

Thankyou so much all of you. And thankyou for the offers of help. So kind. Im right at the other end of the southwest but genuinley thankyou for the offer.

The police are outside. Talking to next door. Its so rainy and windy that I cant hear whats actually being said but theres alot of shouting.

Two police officers came. There was yet another moped ao 5 blocking 5he way in. The police moved them just out the way of the gate, came in and said theyd go next door to have a word. I explained the situation and they said theyd come back in after theyve got an idea of the situation nezt door.

Weather is so bad that dp is stuck 30 miles away for now but hopefully he'll gwt home soon.

Will update as soon as ive spoken to them again.

OP posts:
cfc · 18/12/2013 17:21

I could also bring hubby and his friends. I think he's the 'smallest' of them at 6'4"...show this silly little girls she's playing with the adults now...

CrazyCatLady13 · 18/12/2013 17:23

Hope things are getting better for you OP. Just to say, I believe you, and wish you lots of luck getting things sorted out.