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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To complain about this??

579 replies

absentmindeddooooodles · 11/12/2013 16:55

My ds is 2.9. He goes to the nursery down the road one day a week. ( cannot afford for him to go any more regularly) just to get socialised and to try and work on seperation anxiety. velcro child syndrome

Went to pick him up today and was met by three of the nursery workers "wanting to have a talk".

This got me really worried as they looked very....strict. like I was being bloody told off.

To cut a long story short....they told me that as my son is still in nappies I would have to think about taking him out of nursery until the problem is sorted!! ( problem him not being potty trained)

They talked for a good ten mins about how its an inconvenience to them having such a big boy needing constant monitoring incase hes done a poo.

I didnt want to get into an argument and never would infront of all the kids, but did put across a couple of points:
. He is in "the baby room" as they call it. Babies from birth to 3 years. There are fewer older toddlers than babies....so I imagine they should be all set up forpchanging nappies.
.theybe never said anything to me before about him being in nappies being an issue. I have even had discussions with his keyworker about the favt that I had tried potty training him but he got a v bad bout of chicken pox right in the middle of it so we have gone back to square one.
. I dont personally think he's too old to be in nappies. He's not 3 until april and as long as he isn't rocking up to his first day of school in pampers Its fine.
. He is currently undergoing a diagnnosis for adhd and possibly as. It's bloody hard enough to get through the day without making him do something hes not ready to.

Their response to all the above was that he is more than old enough to be using a toilet and by him not doing this its taking time away from the babies who actually need looking after!!!!!

Out of the three of them who spoke to me....the youngest one ( about 16 on placement) told me it was disgusting to have to clean up a fully grown childs poo!

Im reeling and actually v embarassed as there were quite a few other parents round while this was going on.

Now I know ianbu to not be impressed with the way this was dealt with......but aibu to not have potty trained him by now?

Should he be totally out of nappies by this age? This is my first dc and moat friends dc are younger thn mine. A family member had their dd totally dry through the night by 2.5....but all kids are different.....surely its down to the individual?

Im sorry this has been so epically long...but am at a loss!
.

OP posts:
Loonytoonie · 13/12/2013 20:06

.

Vampyreof · 13/12/2013 20:30

Oh my god, how horrible about SS. Obviously, it's not just a coincidence that someone's made a referral after you've challenged what the nursery had to say but it still feels so awful to have your parenting abilities questioned. I really feel for you, I've had a malicious referral made about me in the past and it makes you feel utterly worried sick but try not to, you know you're capable and your DS is happy!

MammaTJ · 13/12/2013 20:46

(considers reporting mama for trolling about boils and causing unnecessary distress to all sporners)

You should! Grin

Lulabellarama · 13/12/2013 21:02

Are you sure you haven't retyped those statements?
It's just that all of them, and your own posts, consistently have the letter 'w' in words where there should be an 'e'.

Pull · 13/12/2013 22:18

I'm a bit confused.
There are quite a few e's where the r's should be in your posts OP and in the statements which you say are copied and pasted. Also the word "appalled" spelt appauled/apaulled by both yourself the young lad.
I'm inclined to wonder why you keep insisting the statements have been copied and pasted. Is there a reason why?

DustBunnyFarmer · 13/12/2013 22:25

One of the playworkers as DS1's private day nursery apparently made an unkind remark about his soiling overheard by a senior (he has medical issues & still sees a paediatrician), the nursery manager and owner put her on a formal written warning. They then had a meeting with us in the office out of earshot of the children and were at great pains to explain they didn't consider that appropriate behaviour, were managing it as a disciplinary issue and so on. DS was about 3.5 at the time. Apparently playworker was chippy about it, rather than sorry for upsetting him. She left about 6 weeks later - don't know if she jumped or was pushed, but I suspect pushed. The management team ran a really tight ship. I'm relaying this to provide some perspective on OP's situation.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 13/12/2013 22:27

I'm really confused about what you're implying Lula and Pull? Genuinely confused I mean.

Oakmaiden · 13/12/2013 23:23

Lula and Pull - if you have a problem with the posts, then report.

Though it looks like people have already, and MNHQ are satisfied all is well.

Either way - people have asked the question (about typos/copy and paste), OP has responded, if you want to disbelieve then do it off post. To do otherwise is unfair to genuine posters.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 13/12/2013 23:28

Why would people be suspicious about typos or copy and paste though? Confused

Oakmaiden · 13/12/2013 23:34

I think they are trying to infer that absent is writing all the "statements" herself.

But as I say, MNHQ have clearly looked at it and feel it is legit. Even if it wasn't, it isn't actually hurting anyone, so need to get knickers in a twist about it.

Personally I find it hard to believe that a nursery school could behave like this. But then, I suspect absent finds it hard to believe as well.

HankyScore · 13/12/2013 23:35

Because because because.

Oakmaiden · 13/12/2013 23:35

um - no need to get knickers in a twist. Obviously.

Pull · 14/12/2013 00:15

Sorry, Oakmaiden you're quite right.
I wasn't trying to imply that the OP was lying I was genuinely puzzled as to how the copied and pasted excerpts were showing the same typos/spelling errors as the OP's posts.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 14/12/2013 12:05

Pull I can only assume that it's the same person (in the nursery) writing all the statements. Either way, the spelling, grammar and typos are unacceptable in a professional setting.

OHforDUCKSchristmasCake · 14/12/2013 12:24

Tenner says the OP never comes back to post on MN ever again.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 14/12/2013 12:34

Hang on, are the typos the same in all of the statements? Even the young lad who's on side?

Also waiting for OP to come back and update us.

FreeWee · 14/12/2013 18:08

Mrsdooooodles has been on MN as long as I have so either she's decided to self destruct her username or actually sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. Let's wait to hear what she says next rather than speculate which bridge she's hiding under. Remember the talk guidelines Wink

Pull · 14/12/2013 20:22

Yes candycoated I figured that but it still doesn't explain how the exact same typos appear in the OPs posts.
It's frustrating to read such a thread when something like that keeps nagging at you.

catkind · 14/12/2013 20:33

AlineAP, completely off topic but you might want to take a look into a method called Elimination Communication, or chucking the baby on the potty at nappy changes as we did it. Certainly by 1 dd was doing most pees and poos on the toilet (no waiting around, she just did it when sat on), and by 18m would tell us in advance for poos. Agree babies and toddlers are a lot more able than many people think.

Totally up to the parents what age they want to train though - and the children of course! Of course OP your nursery are being ridiculous, their own statements are if anything more incriminating than yours.

Original poster
absentmindeddooooodles · 14/12/2013 21:11

Sorry I havent been back! Had a crazy crazy day.

Ok, I cant keep saying the same thing about all the mistakes/typos in the statements. I have no reason ( genuinley I cannot think of a single reason) to lie about the fact that I copied and pasted them all. Like I said...the only rhings I have changed in any of the statements are personal and identifying details. ( names etc)

Ive been on mn since I was pregnant with ds. Its been a real source of info, company and comfort for me. I hope that that carries on as its been invaluable.

Im stumped as to why anyone would lie about something like this....although I know it must happen now and again.

So thankyou for the support and sorry for those who dont believe it.

Nothing has moved on a great deal from when I last posted. The college rang me back but neither girl turned up to lessons on friday so all being dealt with monday.

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 14/12/2013 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThurlHoHoHow · 14/12/2013 22:19

Still laughing that most toddlers are ready to potty train at 18m Grin

Good luck, OP, don't let go of this.

Original poster
absentmindeddooooodles · 14/12/2013 22:36

Thanks :)

And 18 months hmmm......I think I can honestly say I dont know or know of a single child that has been potty trained at or around 18 months. Think 23 months was the youngest.

OP posts:
LeafyGreen13 · 14/12/2013 23:35

Thanks for the update.

I hope you have a lovely weekend with your son. Let us know what happens on Monday ;)

CarolPrankster · 15/12/2013 08:11

Doodles, hi, I am new to this thread but I have read most of it.
The statements that you have been sent, were they in email or on an attached file? Did the email have all of the usual nursery graffics? (My nursery sends emails with some much branding attached its often hard to read the email)
Anyway my point is that you seem to have a core of nasty employees ganging up on you and trying to intimidate you. The emails that you have copied and pasted seem to be so poor that I wonder if one of these bullies has accessed the nursery email from their phone. The typos seem to be phone related. If this is the case it may be that the manager has no idea what is going on on her behalf and would explain the consistent mistakes - my phone tends to just keep repeating my typos.
I wonder if it would be worth going off line and actually writing a letter to the manager outlining the bald details, leave out all the side shows regarding the nastiness from the ndn. Include a print out of the emails.
Good luck!
I have read this threat with my nursery in mind and I cannot imagine the the lovely, slightly daft, girls in my nursery behaving like this, I trust that they love my ds almost as much as me. - he leaves in September and they are already getting their knickers in a twist over it!