To complain about this??

[absentmindeddooooodles]

My ds is 2.9. He goes to the nursery down the road one day a week. ( cannot afford for him to go any more regularly) just to get socialised and to try and work on seperation anxiety. velcro child syndrome

Went to pick him up today and was met by three of the nursery workers "wanting to have a talk".

This got me really worried as they looked very....strict. like I was being bloody told off.

To cut a long story short....they told me that as my son is still in nappies I would have to think about taking him out of nursery until the problem is sorted!! ( problem him not being potty trained)

They talked for a good ten mins about how its an inconvenience to them having such a big boy needing constant monitoring incase hes done a poo.

I didnt want to get into an argument and never would infront of all the kids, but did put across a couple of points:
. He is in "the baby room" as they call it. Babies from birth to 3 years. There are fewer older toddlers than babies....so I imagine they should be all set up forpchanging nappies.
.theybe never said anything to me before about him being in nappies being an issue. I have even had discussions with his keyworker about the favt that I had tried potty training him but he got a v bad bout of chicken pox right in the middle of it so we have gone back to square one.
. I dont personally think he's too old to be in nappies. He's not 3 until april and as long as he isn't rocking up to his first day of school in pampers Its fine.
. He is currently undergoing a diagnnosis for adhd and possibly as. It's bloody hard enough to get through the day without making him do something hes not ready to.

Their response to all the above was that he is more than old enough to be using a toilet and by him not doing this its taking time away from the babies who actually need looking after!!!!!

Out of the three of them who spoke to me....the youngest one ( about 16 on placement) told me it was disgusting to have to clean up a fully grown childs poo!

Im reeling and actually v embarassed as there were quite a few other parents round while this was going on.

Now I know ianbu to not be impressed with the way this was dealt with......but aibu to not have potty trained him by now?

Should he be totally out of nappies by this age? This is my first dc and moat friends dc are younger thn mine. A family member had their dd totally dry through the night by 2.5....but all kids are different.....surely its down to the individual?

Im sorry this has been so epically long...but am at a loss!
.

[InPursuitOfOblivion]

Of course poorly written, grammatically incorrect, text speak can be used by the police.
I worked as a paralegal for a while and it seems most of the general public can barely speak English properly let alone write eloquently!
What does this chap think was used to prosecute the Mark Duggan rioters with their BBM?
You do also need to report the chocolate incidents as well. I know it might seem a bit ridiculous but she is deliberately trying to harm an animal which is an offence in itself.

[PrivateBenjamin]

Have you reported your NDN to the housing association/ council yet OP? She is the one causing trouble so she should be the one who is moved, not you. Also, has the school been notified (the school that the nursery is on the grounds of)? They might start to pull their weight if they know that the staff from the nursery have been suspended from their course due to these lies and false accusations, yet the nursery is happy to still have NDN and Work Experience girl looking after vulnerable children.

I really hope you can take some action against them, they sound completely horrendous. Their accusations about you are completely far fetched and idiotic. Surely nobody would believe them.

Sending you lots of support

[DoubleLifeIsALifeOfSorts]

Oh dear, what an IDIOT your ndn sounds - how could she sit there and openly spout her lies and fucked up attitude? It's so weird and stupid of her.

Yes to reporting this to police - they don't seem to have picked up the wider issues through you calling them about the obstruction, so it's time to take it up a notch.

Ugh. She makes me shudder. Why would anyone waste their time in doing this stuff? Chocolate in your garden? Ffs.

[Lomaamina]

Poor you OP. This is horrendous, although the good support from the tutor must be some small consolation. Don't hesitate about speaking to the police. They will judge better than the tutor whether they can use the txt spk emails. I'd be quite confident this isn't the first time such a 'language' has needed to be translated in court.

[TensionWheelsCoolHeels]

Were the 2 of them aware that their discussions about this were captured on their emails? It's one thing to sit and deny the bleeding obvious but another completely to deny what they actually confirm in their emails.

I think your only option is to go to the police and also the HA to see about getting her moved as well. Sounds like you might well have the grounds/evidence of her harassment of you, breaching the HA rules on tenant behavior (sorry I don't know all the correct terminology but hopefully you get the gist).

[absentmindeddooooodles]

The new move would be in the next 2 year or so. Wed have to wait u til dp was back in the forces to be entitled to married accomodation. This is what we are working towards. Realistically itll take a good 18 months at least for him to gwt back in and start training.....then anothe 8 months or so to be posted. Grrrrre.

[absentmindeddooooodles]

Hi all :)

Right...meeting went really well! Tutor was fantastic. Really nice guy. Genuinley sorry about all the problems caused. Hr manager was more interested in the plate of cakes beimg offered at first but soon payed more attention once he had eaten 5

The tutor said he has alot of evidence in the form of emails which has proved the girls have been talking about all of this. He couldnt shiw me or tell me exact xonversations because of privacy policy at this point but he said there is enough evidence if "malicious acts" for me to go to the police. ( college will supply the emails to the police)

The girls were bought in for a chat. Ndn was horrendous. Sitting there chewing gum with an open mouth and outwardly flirting with the hr manager! Literally leaning over squeezing boobs with elbows type thing.
Didnt get much sense out of either of them. Ndn kept telling both staff members that I wad a bad parent because of x y and z. Not worried as totally unfounded. Stupid things like feeding ds in the freezing cold hall so I dont get crumbs on the floor....pahahaha.
She carried on like that and tutor explained the severety of the aituation. Eapecially with obstruction to my property etc.
Atudent from the nursery was.....much the same actually. Denied everything and stuck to similar to what was in the statements.
As this is the 3rd time being "on record" for both of them, they are still suspended until the inveatigation reaches some conclusion. Student is still working at nursery though so they must have taken her on as payed staff.

Have had the police out once more for bloody ndn. Shes been throwing chunks of chocolate into my garden. I know this sounds v strange.....but whilst on better terms she tried to feed my puppy a bit of chocolate. I explained it was v poisonous but she could give him aomething else. Then ensued a lighthearted debate and she evwntually looked it up and found it was true.
Shes the only one who has access to reach my garden.And theres more there every morning. Of coirse she denied it.

Im trying really hard to sell as much as I can so I can get some kind of securitu camera to catch her out. But not looking like we will have enough for a few months.

To the point where we have thought about trying to move locally but we are only paying off the interest on the mortgage and because of missed payments etc we are hanging by a thread already.

Want it all to get better now!!!

Think I will have to work with the collwge to report ndn to the police. At least we will have written eviswnce of some of it.

The only problem with that according to the tutor is...that the emails are in such badly writtwn and spelt text speak that alot of it is of no use :( fed up now.

[DoubleLifeIsALifeOfSorts]

Hey there been keeping up with your thread - I think the move might be really good for you with ndn being on some weirdo vendetta, and no nursery place nearby.

How did the meeting go?

[TensionWheelsCoolHeels]

How did the meeting on the 6th pan out OP?

[Featherbag]

I can't believe this awful situation you're in op, it's so fucked up it has to be real! And all from one silly teenage girl! I'm so pleased you're complaining to anyone who'll listen, please don't let the idiots get away with treating a child like this!

[pigletmania]

Oh op I just managed to read all your posts on speed read, what a horrendous situation. They are all bloody in cahoots. Do the ndn live in council or HA accommodation? If they do, lodge a complaint about anti social behaviour to them. Noise abatement department in the council, lodge a complaint there too. What nasty evil pieces of work who should nit be anywhere near children. All this kicked off because you were not able to babysit! Well don't the boy at nursery who supported you, god deserves a medal

[absentmindeddooooodles]

Have complained to college about work experience girl. Ndn is on the same childcare course and works in partner nursery up the road. Forgot to mention....meeting with the tutor arranged for 6th. ( both girls will be coming in to have a chat with us) with head of hr and tutor. :)

[Lomaamina]

NDN=next door neighbour

HTH (happy to help )

[pigletmania]

That's freewheeling

[pigletmania]

That student is in noway in any position to make that kind of statement, she is a student and not a qualified professional. Seriously complain to her college tutor, she is in too deep and we'll above her station

[FreeWee]

Next door neighbour = ndn

[pigletmania]

What's ndn btw

[pigletmania]

My goodness, they are vile, you would not out them in charge of a log! Where do I start, totally unprofessional, non child centred. Making a toddler feel like that, they should be ashamed! If they are like to you, I wonder what they are like when your not there! That work experience girl, my goodness, she should knits her place, she is in no professional position to make such a statement, if she were that is totally unprofessional! Have you complained about her to her college! Your ds is best off out there. My dd now 6, went to a lovely pre school attached to the local school when she was 3. She was not potty trained as nit ready, they were fab, no pressure was out on us, dd dud if when she was ready at 3.4 years

[TwerkingNineToFive]

I have just read this whole thread for the first time. My god where do I start.
Want a bunch of wankers the nursery staff and your neighbours are! Total and utter wankers!
Move away op if you get the chance.

[absentmindeddooooodles]

And theo im so sorry to jear that. What a horrid experience for you. Woupdnt wish it on anyone :(

[absentmindeddooooodles]

Thanks everyone.

Fingers crossed it all gets moving quickly now as am fed up of it all!!

No nurseries with any spaces in the area right now so ds will be at home with me for a while. He didnt go full time anyway so not an issue.

Think we definatley do all need a clean break. Bloody scary though.

On a lighter note ndn just got kicked out the corner shop for going in wearing pjs and slippers. Mwha ha ha ha.

[dramajustfollowsme]

I hope ofsted thoroughly investigate your complaint. The nursery are awful. I'd go for the move back to the forces, it could be just what you all need.

[trixymalixy]

This is awful!! Good for you taking it further.

Both my DC were in nappies past 3, as were others at the nursery.

[Theodorous]

At the age of 38, I can still remember being the kid that none of the staff liked aged 3. We were weird in the village, my mum was a hippy nd usually late and had a crappy old hippy car. I can remember them sneering about me in front of the others. Also, the owner had a daughter called Holly, I can picture her now, she used to pinch me and push me over. We moved before I was 4 but those bitches had a massive effect on my primary school years, I was absolutely phobic. Please report them, for your son nd for me.

[katese11]

Sorry, haven't RTFT but thanks for the update. It actually sounds like a complete break might be good for you. I certainly wouldn't want anything more to do with that nursery.

My ds trained at 3yrs 3mths and I had a lot of friends with boys training at the same age. He went to preschool having been dry for 6 days (cutting it close, huh?) and continued to poo in his pants for the first term or so. But they were so lovely, understanding and patient about it that he emerged with no toilet-related issues (forcing them to go can cause withholding, I believe). They were WAY better than I was with him when he had accidents. So your ds is well within normal bounds and there's just no way of making them train before they're ready - it's not physically possible.

Good luck with it all, esp crazy ndn!