to change DD's childcare because of this comment?

[katherinelilyflower]

DD is 12 months old this month and has been with her childminder 5 days a week since she was 7 months. I am the first to admit I can be defensive about this, which is why I want to check on here first before doing anything hasty.

DC2 is due in March. Originally I'd been going to start maternity leave in February but I've been unwell so won't be going back now after the Christmas holidays (2 weeks.) I told DD's childminder about this, and she was chatting to me for a while about my plans, and I forget the exact nature of the conversation but the gist was that I'd be taking 12 months for maternity, this going back to work January 2015 when DC2 will be 10 months.

So, you'll be putting another baby of less than a year old with me five days a week, will you?

was the comment.

So - MN jury - AIBU?

Loving your work Mrs DV

Oh no frothing here Mrs, just think it's bloody sad really

I would be in tears if anyone else but me and DH would take my children to Santa's grotto. That IS sad.

I am amazed at the piousness of some of the comments on this thread. It seems all to easy to comment negatively and then down right rudely to the Op as she is living a life in a way that does not agree with your own.

Get off your high horses and if you cannot say anything else that does not consist of being a dig/vindictive don't bother.

Vee, if you had cared to read the OP, she did say she is planning a 12 months maternity leave and will look after both of her children herself in this period.

No, the situation would not occour for my family. I want to be there, and I want my DH to be there. Maybe these moments don't mean anything to you mrs devere, but they mean something for the child and shoot me if you wish, but I want to be part of it. And yes, I do judge parents who both work full time and have young babies in childcare 50 hours + a week, and who can't be asked to take their own children to see Santa.

"I would be in tears if anyone else but me and DH would take my children to Santa's grotto. That IS sad."

Will this grip suit?

You can't possibly imagine why I get defensive, can you!?

Blueberry, it's simple, DD is in childcare or she wouldn't be here, as without both of us working she wouldn't have been conceived at all. She is here now, and the fertility clinic aren't going to take her back () so looks like poor DD, with her evil parents who can't be arsed ( again) to take her to see Santa, is stuck with us.

Why on earth should seeing a bloke in a red suit with a big white beard actually mean anything?

It is not like he is Jesus or Buddha? He is mostly a modern marketing ploy by Coca Cola!

In fairness - it does mean something to me, a lot, which is why I had a child in the first place - to love and to raise. Her being in childcare is incidental to this. It doesn't mean I don't get joy from her existence!

I am sorry. Did not mean to sound flippant.

I have never taken my kids to see santa. They have been, just not with me. They have been invited to come with friends to santas grotto. There are so many things to do with your children, seing santa is not really more magical than all the other less commercial things you can do.

No, not at all! I knew what you meant - I was just clarifying for anyone who thinks I am a heartless cow!

katherinelily I'm glad you were able to take your dd out from the cm straight away. I really hope you have better luck finding excellent childcare next time.

You are not a heartless cow, although shockingly some of the "childminders" here seem to think all working mums are heartless cows. Dont take it personally.

How on earth do you possibly know that the parents have not taken them to see Father Christmas- how judgemental - second guessing is it?

How fortunate some of you are that you can do every single thing with your child or children but as incomprehensiveable (sp)as it may be to you, many, many working parents manage to do it to you. BUT many, many parents who stay at home (for whatever reasons) don't do it also.

Again everyone has choice - who are you blueberry to cast the aspersion that Maybe these moments don't mean anything to you mrs devere and it seems that you also mean other working parents who use childcare. - Jumping very highly to meet your own conclusions.

Katherine honestly, don't engage with people like that. They are obviously limited in some way. (Quint, the other oddballs I mean).

I think you have handled the situation very well, and calling her on it, hopefully she'll think twice before making such ill-advised comments in future.

Enjoy your time with your little family.

My friends nanny took me to see Sandra's grotto one year. How's that for deprived, not even my own nanny or childminder ;-)

Sandra? Obviously Santa!

NOT Quint, I meant!

Do what makes you feel comfortable, she may have meant nothing by it, but now that it's happened, if you have lost faith in her, you have plenty of time to look around

It is all in the tone but I just can't see how what she said is anything but bitchy tbh.