Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not on for DD's teacher to pull her part in the nativity to make room for another child?

323 replies

KarenOfArc64 · 04/12/2013 19:32

It's another nativity thread, sorry. DD is year 2 and has one of the "main" parts in the nativity this year. The school organises it with the year 2s taking the main parts and any leftover year 2s in the choir, a select number of the year 1s having a minor part and the majority in the choir, and the reception children split into angels and shepherds. DD was told today that she has been demoted to choir, because another mother has complained her daughter (year 2) is upset at not having a part. Dd was one of the year 1 chosen for a minor part last year and her teacher "knew she wouldn't mind". Had DD been told that from the start I wouldn't have a problem with it, but it seems cruel to pull her part this late in the day. We've had a few other incidents this term in which this teacher doesn't seem to have treated DD completely fairly and DD is now convinced her teacher doesn't like her. AIBU to think this is a bit mean?

OP posts:
EverythingIsTinselyBaubleyBoo · 11/12/2013 20:46

^^ If that made any sense Hmm

BuntyPenfold · 11/12/2013 20:49

Sort of, TinselyBaubley :)

DameDeepRedBetty · 11/12/2013 21:52

Could you update us OP if you feel up to it?

ProudAS · 11/12/2013 22:28

Please keep us posted OP

MrsEdinburgh · 12/12/2013 10:18

Yes let us know what the outcome is OP.

Original poster
KarenOfArc64 · 12/12/2013 16:50

Sorry for the lack of updates, the other girl has been off school this week ill, so nothing to report. She was back in today and asked whether she wanted to do the school performance or the parents performance- of course she went for the parents performance. So the teacher is thinking about it and will tell the girls what she's decided tomorrow- the irony is dd has been rehearsing the part all week in the other girl's absence!

OP posts:
DrankSangriaInThePark · 12/12/2013 17:08

Oh fuxache.

So she's a sicky-on-the-night risk as well? Seriously, the other mother must have something dodgy on the teacher IMO. Has she shagged her husband or something?

It just gets better.

ADishBestEatenCold · 12/12/2013 17:21

Karen did you see the suggestion I and lots of other posters made, that you preempt any decision the Head Teacher might make, by writing to her insisting that your DD is given the Parent's Performance part and stating that you will want to discuss the whole matter of the actions of the Class Teacher at a later date.

There is a sample letter on my post from Sun 08-Dec-13 12:16:16.

MerryMarigold · 12/12/2013 17:29

Ds1 was 'dumped' today. He seems ok about it, but I am a bit Angry. He had an understudy (not sure why since no-one else did, why pick him if they think he needs an understudy?). Anyway, so when it came down to it the other kid was 'better'. He said, "I have failed" Sad. He is 8.

LIZS · 12/12/2013 17:34

This is madness. Do they still expect you to lend the costume too ?

Panzee · 12/12/2013 17:37

MerryMarigold that's awful. Your poor son.
When I cast parts everyone who wants to speak does so. It gets sorted at the beginning.

.

SolidGoldBrass · 12/12/2013 17:58

So sorry for your DD, OP. I am almost 50 and this thread is making me a bit queasy, because I had something similar done to me when I was 10. and you don't forget being treated so unfairly.
In my case, I had been cast as Mary, and was off school for a couple of weeks (in October) with whooping cough. When I came back, they had begun rehearsals with another kid as Mary, a friend of mine. I have never been quite sure why I was given the part in the first place, as my parents were not pushy and my class teacher hated me - but I was talkative and liked acting so that may have been the reason.

Anyway, the teacher proceeded to alternate rehearsals between me and other kid for a fortnight or so. Then, one morning, she sent the two of us out of the room and asked the rest of the class to vote on which one of us should have the part. And the other girl won. The teacher said that I could be the understudy 'if I liked' but after about a week I said I would rather play the tambourine in the school band instead, ta.

BuntyPenfold · 12/12/2013 18:01

I would be demanding restitution AND an inquiry as to the teacher's conduct and motives.

BuntyPenfold · 12/12/2013 18:02

ouch SolidGoldBrass, what a bitch!

homeworkmakesmemad · 12/12/2013 18:11

My DD was dumped this year too :-( She was supposed to be a shepherd (in a play where the main characters were shepherds and sheep) and was so excited. No speaking, but lots of "acting" - on stage loads etc... She was so excited because her best friend was a sheep so they would be together on stage. I was pleased because we are leaving the school next week as we are moving and I was pleased she had a decent chance to "shine" in her last nativity. 2 weeks into rehearsals they decided there were too many shepherds so they chose 2 to be roman guards instead. 1 was a child who didn't want to be a shepherd in the first place (very shy) and the other was my DD. She walked on stage at the very start of the play, stood still for approx 5 seconds then left the stage and sat in the back row of the choir where we couldn't even see her. (she's pretty short for her age so really needed to be in the front row for anyone to see her) She said she didn't mind (she's very laid back), but wished she could be on stage with her friends. I, on the other hand, along with my DH who had taken the afternoon off work to watch it, were furious - we spent the whole time looking at other people's kids and couldn't even see ours. When the part was 're-assigned" we assumed it was a proper part and it wasn't until we actually saw the show that we realised how pathetic it was - too late to complain - ragin' Angry

clam · 12/12/2013 18:39

Oh come on! Your dd has been rehearsing this from Day One, until they air-shipped this other girl in on a whim. And now she's been rehearsing it all week as well due to illness on her part? How on earth can the other child be expected to do it at this late stage, with little or no practice? It's almost the end of term, so the performance must be imminent.
Ridiculous!

pudcat · 12/12/2013 19:33

How can the second girl do this part. She has not been there. You must stand up for your daughter.

3bunnies · 12/12/2013 19:37

If the other girl has barely rehearsed it then hopefully your dd should be in pole position. If not then it is clearly favouritism. I would also petition that if she ends up doing the junior performance that you and her aunt should be able to come to the junior performance to see her. probably a better view too without all the ipads and camcorders in the way They should be able to make an exception as hopefully next year they won't be so thoughtless.

Original poster
KarenOfArc64 · 12/12/2013 20:36

Just been dealing with an upset 6 year old- I think if anything it's cruel dragging it out like this Angry. Just seen it ADish, there will be a version on the heads desk tomorrow morning if need be.

OP posts:
waltermittymissus · 12/12/2013 20:43

Fucking hell it gets worse!!!

I'm telling you, Karen: walk in there tomorrow and TELL her your dd will be doing the parents performance.

wombat31 · 12/12/2013 20:48

Can the other girl not do the school performance and her mum come to watch that and then your DD can do the parents performance? We have a parent who can not get time off due to her job and so she is allowed in to our school production instead of the parents one as a one off so she still gets to see it. It would suit all parties then.

Fleta · 12/12/2013 20:50

I would go back into school tomorrow and say you've decided.

Your DD will perform in the performance to the Junior school on the strict proviso that you, her aunt and grandparents are allowed to watch it at the same time Grin

Not ideal on the face of things BUT you get a "special" performance and this takes the bull by the horns before your poor DD gets let down again.

abigkerfuffle · 12/12/2013 20:52

Insist on front row seats too!

lagoonhaze · 12/12/2013 21:01

Hope you get it sorted. Its disgusting how the teacher has favoured not upsetting the other child over yours!

ChameleonCircuit · 12/12/2013 21:02

I think this comes under the classification of "cruel and unusual punishment"! The head needs to sort this evil teacher out.

Swipe left for the next trending thread