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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not on for DD's teacher to pull her part in the nativity to make room for another child?

323 replies

KarenOfArc64 · 04/12/2013 19:32

It's another nativity thread, sorry. DD is year 2 and has one of the "main" parts in the nativity this year. The school organises it with the year 2s taking the main parts and any leftover year 2s in the choir, a select number of the year 1s having a minor part and the majority in the choir, and the reception children split into angels and shepherds. DD was told today that she has been demoted to choir, because another mother has complained her daughter (year 2) is upset at not having a part. Dd was one of the year 1 chosen for a minor part last year and her teacher "knew she wouldn't mind". Had DD been told that from the start I wouldn't have a problem with it, but it seems cruel to pull her part this late in the day. We've had a few other incidents this term in which this teacher doesn't seem to have treated DD completely fairly and DD is now convinced her teacher doesn't like her. AIBU to think this is a bit mean?

OP posts:
Motherinlawsdung · 12/12/2013 21:05

Go in to speak to the HT and BUST HER FUCKING ASS.

nennypops · 12/12/2013 21:11

Surely logic says it has go be your dd, she's rehearsed the show an awful lot more than the other kid.

abigkerfuffle · 12/12/2013 21:12

Logic counts for nothing to some HT's though Sad

ajandjjmum · 12/12/2013 21:15

You're being too nice Karen. Smile

fryingpantoface · 12/12/2013 21:19

I would go sick. That's just not on. Your poor dd

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 12/12/2013 21:32

O
M
G

WTAF?!?! I'm astounded. Am #teamminiarc

F the ht with a cattle prod sideways. Then the teacher. Miserly beeatch. She's not related to this dd is she????

I'd CC governors. And vicar if is one.

Best of luck for the performance. Watching and hoping. (Poor other child tho too!)

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 12/12/2013 21:33

#teamminikaren if you prefer op

MidniteScribbler · 12/12/2013 21:38

Seriously, stop letting people walk all over you. Why are you letting this teacher get away with this and allowing him to 'think about it'? FFS, stop the madness.

rookietherednosedreindeer · 12/12/2013 21:45

The HT sounds like the wettest one I have ever heard of.

So class teacher does a stupid thing - reassigns role half way through rehearsals, leaving HT in a difficult position, which she decides to resolve by asking the girls themselves to decide it - cause clearly at the age of 6 they are mature enough to handle that Hmm.

One girl is then off sick for most of the vital week preceeding the show - thus giving the HT a get out of jail card - as she has missed key rehearsals, makes more sense for OPs DD to take the part. But noinstead she still can't make a decision on this , has to wait until other girl comes back ask her opinion and then still has to sleep on it.

As far as I was aware HT is a highly responsible position with loads of important things to decide on a daily basis - what on earth does she do when faced with budgets, if she can't even sort out a simple christmas play logistics problem.I'd be highly worried about your DD attending this school given the HTs inability to sort out the most basic matter in a timely and fair fashion.

Does make you wonder if something else is going on with this other girls family as someone has posted earlier, it's the only explanation ( other than sheer stupidity) that makes any sense in the circumstances.

OP please whatever you do, do not lend your DDs costume - this has gone way beyond the point of being polite to the other mum, she has a sheer brass neck to ask for the thing.

JodieGarberJacob · 12/12/2013 21:52

I can usually see the school's point of view on mn threads however wrong they may be but this is ridiculous! They obviously can't reinstate the whole part after promising it to the other girl but to then not straight away tell op's dd she could choose the performance is beyond belief!

DrankSangriaInThePark · 13/12/2013 08:38

I'm beginning to think that either the teacher or the headteacher are Other Child's godmother or something. Or, Other Mother has pics on her phone of teacher pissing in the street with her bottom hanging out when she was 17 and they were best friends.

She's got something on her for sure.

Karen, take your user name. Get on that horse, and go charging in there with the weight of MN behind you.

DontmindifIdo · 13/12/2013 08:47

Karen - send ADish's e-mail ASAP. It's best to get htat in now, before the teacher announces who will do which performance, and then youare asking htem to change their minds, this is just asking them to make their mind up the nicest possible way.

(Another who had something similar happen to them as a child and never really got over it)

Also agree you need to talk to the head after Christmas about all the situations where you think your DD has been unfairly treated by this teacher, that each one on it's own doesn't sound that bad, but it's clearly a pattern of behaviour by this teacher and you'd like to know if it's just DD is being treated like this and why, and if not, is this the teaching style of this class teacher and so what training is being put in place to solve the problem?

DorothyBastard · 13/12/2013 17:43

Have you heard from the school Karen?

Original poster
KarenOfArc64 · 13/12/2013 21:09

Good news- the class teacher's decision to have the other girl do the part anyway has been overruled by the HT on the basis that the performance is on Tuesday and she has practiced once, while DD is prepared :) Thanks so much everyone for the support on this thread. The other mother is livid and had a good rant about it to me at pick up (but she doesn't blame me apparently! Confused) but DD is happy. I'm not going to let the other issues drop though, just wonder if I might wait until after Tuesday to raise them!

OP posts:
Original poster
KarenOfArc64 · 13/12/2013 21:11

We'll go for #teamminikaren shall we Minnie? Grin This is going to be the most highly anticipated nativity ever, all the trouble it's caused!

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 13/12/2013 21:18

Great! And absolutely do not let it drop. Her teacher is ring incredibly unfair to your DD and I think it needs dealing with.

ChasedByBees · 13/12/2013 21:18

Ring = being

SMorgauseBordOfChristmasTat · 13/12/2013 21:26

Wonderful news, glad that good sense and fairness prevailed.

MmeGuillotine · 13/12/2013 21:27

BRILLIANT news! :D

FrankelInFoal · 13/12/2013 21:27

Hurrah for common sense!

EverythingIsTinselyBaubleyBoo · 13/12/2013 21:33

Oh that is brilliant news, so happy for your DD :) such a shame she had to go through all the upset first but this was the best outcome!

I would speak to the HT after the performance about the other issues.

Merry Christmas to you and #miniangelKaren Xmas Grin

DrankSangriaInThePark · 13/12/2013 21:34

Oh, thank goodness. Xmas Smile

Hurrah for common sense and look forward to hearing how MiniKaren gets on!

OddFodd · 13/12/2013 21:35

Go minikaren!

rookietherednosedreindeer · 13/12/2013 21:37

Yay - I really did not expect that result at all , but am so pleased to hear it.

ProphetOfDoom · 13/12/2013 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.