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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if one child is a different race to his entire class...

165 replies

freshsweetberry · 02/12/2013 08:19

has never been invited to a party, a playdate and is racially abused and bullied, that actually, there probably is some racism going on?

I've spoken to the school numerous times, and they've refused to let me change his school. So he's grown up with no friends, bullied and now he has low self esteem.

I've got to confront them again, but I feel that it's a totally pointless exercise. Confused

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 02/12/2013 08:20

How can the school refuse to let you change schools?

milktraylady · 02/12/2013 08:21

Wow that's pretty shit.
Sounds like you need to move school

KatyN · 02/12/2013 08:22

Have you tried inviting members of his class round for playdates???

k

notapizzaeater · 02/12/2013 08:22

That's horrible and quite nasty of he parents not to invite him to parties. My son didn't want the class bully at is party but was told he couldn't just miss him out.

School cannot stop you changing schools - I'd be looking round for an alternative. Id also be writing letters to them and the governors about it.

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 02/12/2013 08:22

I'd go higher than the school, Governers, LEA, Ofsted, they have a duty of care for the child while in school and they are failing miserably.

How old is the child.

Tabliope · 02/12/2013 08:24

If the child is being abused like this you have to take it further. The school doesn't seem to be doing what it should if it's not making any attempts to stamp this out. Get some letters out to the governors, LEA and MP. The school can't stop you moving schools.

Sirzy · 02/12/2013 08:26

how can they stop you changing schools?

If school aren't taking your concerns seriously then get in touch with the LEA

livinginwonderland · 02/12/2013 08:26

Surely the school can't stop you taking him out?

bundaberg · 02/12/2013 08:30

Wtf? The school can't stop you changing schools, it's nothing to do with them!
Why don't you Call admissions now and ask which other schools in your area have a space for him?

bundaberg · 02/12/2013 08:31

And yes to reporting to LA and ofsted... They will take this seriously

Faithless12 · 02/12/2013 08:33

Take him out of the school. However, depending on where you live it may not be as simple as changing schools. We will almost certainly need to move before DS is school-aged as there is a big problem of racism where we are. It's hidden, but it's there.

Original poster
freshsweetberry · 02/12/2013 08:36

The other kids are members of a religiion which might not necessarily hold parties is the official story. They do all meet up and have playdates though, from which my son is excluded.

The rules are that the headteacher has to agree to let him change schools and she's refused. I will try the LEA next. He's ten now but it's been going on for years.

They have dealt with it when he's been called racial names, but it's the undercurrent of exclusion and the online bullying that's the real problem. You can bully someone without calling them racist names.

I think I will talk to them one more time then take it further.

OP posts:
Original poster
freshsweetberry · 02/12/2013 08:36

Thanks for all the replies I really do appreciate it!

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 02/12/2013 08:40

Are you in the UK? If so, the head teacher cannot prevent you from changing schools. That's your decision as a parent.

There may well be some racism going on, but even children who are the same race and religion as the majority get excluded from parties sometimes for a myriad of reasons, so try not to focus on that when you talk to the school. The school cannot control who parents do and don't invite for play dates, but they can deal with bulling that occurs in school.

bundaberg · 02/12/2013 08:51

ASumming you're in the UK then there is no way the school can enforce a "rule" like that.

You really need to speak to someone at the LA sharpish

JohnnyBarthes · 02/12/2013 08:54

'The rules are that the headteacher has to agree to let him change schools and she's refused'

Those are not the rules in England, nor I imagine are they the rules in Scotland or Wales.

CaroBeaner · 02/12/2013 08:57

Why can you not just put him on the waiting list for another school? Children move schools all the time!

It does sound as if he is isolated.

LadyAlconleigh · 02/12/2013 09:00

Have you invited the other children to playdates and parties? My dd's class is about 50% muslim and most parents have been perfectly happy about their dcs coming to me. I just check re. food etc

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 02/12/2013 09:01

You need the forms for a mid term relocation, mum went through this when she considered moving my sister from the local secondary school, nothing to do with the headteacher, there has to be a reason, and this is a good enough reason.

ISawStrattersKissingSantaClaus · 02/12/2013 09:08

What, the entire class are JWs, apart from your DS? I think the Head is bullshitting you. :(

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 02/12/2013 09:09

What religions are involved, and is this a specialist school, if all children bar one are the same religion.

froubylou · 02/12/2013 09:11

There is a little girl in my DDs class who is a different race to all the rest of the class.

Her DM kicked off and accused me of being racist as I have never invited her to DDS parties.

It's nothing to do with the race of the child. More to do with the fact that her DD is a vile child. She is a bully, a thug, she is rude to adults and knows language that would make a sailor blush.

So make sure you are 100% sure of your facts and have evidence before you accuse probably 30 other dc and their parents of being racist. The only thing worse than discrimination of any type is someone unfairly accusing others of discrimination.

mrsjay · 02/12/2013 09:12

the headteacher can be forced to agree i have never heard of that though got to the LEA and change schools,

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 02/12/2013 09:14

Also at 10, they getting a bit old for playdates, they should be old enough to just go for a kick about in the park.

TeenAndTween · 02/12/2013 09:14

Assuming you are in the UK, there are some very knowledgable people on Primary Education - post there.
i.e. admission, tiggytape and prh4bridge

I also don't believe head can stop you changing schools.

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