To think if one child is a different race to his entire class...

[freshsweetberry]

has never been invited to a party, a playdate and is racially abused and bullied, that actually, there probably is some racism going on?

I've spoken to the school numerous times, and they've refused to let me change his school. So he's grown up with no friends, bullied and now he has low self esteem.

I've got to confront them again, but I feel that it's a totally pointless exercise.

No need for rudeness, and you are not helping the situation at all by allowing your DS to play online games unsupervised, or to go on your FB account. And I still don't understand why you have all these schoolkids on your account.

jsut move school.
headteacher does not need to agree. (but yes moving school wont always solve every problem)
call the LEA and ask for in year application form .
call LEa and ask which schools currently have vacancies in his year. if tehre is a vacancy you can move him next week.

if no vacancies - then will have to go on wait list but you can appeal.

Candy just to save me typing it all again here is my last post. I hope that helps
I find it very naive that you do not believe anyone else apart from white english people could possibly ever be racist. There is a cultural and language divide, many of the parents do not speak english or socialise with anyone outside of their nationality, and there are many reasons why a group of people from a certain country might not speak to someone of a different race. I am shocked at your lack of cultural knowledge to be honest. I shouldn't have had to say any of the above.

He's been at this school for years and I've complained numerous times and my complaints have been upheld so its not a case of social engineering, and how you can have read this whole thread, disregarded or disbelieved everything on it and come to your own conclusion I am not really sure. Maybe you have some superior knowledge that us mere mortals are not aware of?

The incidents where they do directly racially abuse my son have been dealt with, the trouble is, it's often not in english, its often disguised as bullying about other things. My son is doing well in school and has no behavioural problems so frouby sorry but you are being ridiculous, misinformed and showing your ignorance.

I have been careful to avoid mentioning race at all? Or even alluding to it. And you accuse me of being ignorant?

Good luck OP. With that attitude to a faceless stranger on a forum I am even more convinced that my assumptions are correct. Waste of time anyone trying to help you further I think.

Could you address the Facebook questions, please.

Since you are already online OP, why don't you go onto your local authority's website and fill out an in year application form? It took me 5 minutes to do, and my DS was in his new school 2 weeks later. You have to inform the current HT that you have made the application but you don't need to gain their consent or permission.

Am sorry if you find my comment offensive music.

But I find it difficult to believe that 29 children are ALL racist and that this racism is being supported by 29 sets of parents which is what the OP is claiming

Louby, I was looking at it from the other side of the coin, in that just because you had experienced a child of a different race being vile, it didn't necessary mean that it was the same for the OP.

tbf nobody is disbeleiving you not sure why you are not saying which race or culture you are on about people are discrediting you for allowing your son to be bullied by 10 yr olds on facebook and online gaming people are wondering why you are so busy to actually just take your child out of school being bullied racially or other wise is horrible for children but your posts seem to not add up on one hand you want the bullyng to obviously stop but on the other you are allowing it to continue cos you are SOO busy to do anything about it, and it also sounds like you feel isolated as an English speaking person in a playground of non English speakers which sounds like you ae exaggerating the points ,

nobody was disbelieving you*

Ahh sorry music. Misinterpreted your meaning. Apologies. X

But if you don't get the outcome you want then I think it is very wrong to use racial discrimination as a card to play

So, louby, are you saying that because OP hasn't got her own way, she is using racial discrimination as a get out clause.

Another shitty comment, right there.

Yes, I know white parents in schools with nearly all Asian parents who have felt isolated in the playground.

But if your child is being bullied on facebook, you need to deal with this.

Sorry, Louby, but that is a very dangerous accusation to make.

The child is being bullied, whether racial or not, and the OP has not been productive in trying to counteract this. Like I have told hte OP, she needs to get her head out of her arse and remove said child from school if her child's needs are not met. You can take a child out of school if they are feeling victimised, OP or if there needs are not being met.

*their

I'm not sure how to quote on here but frouby, since you asked lets go through your points one by one .

"But I find it difficult to believe that 29 children are ALL racist and that this racism is being supported by 29 sets of parents which is what the OP is claiming. " All the other children are from one country most of their parents do not speak english although a few do, they do socialise solely with members of that nationality. They have called my son a number of overtly racist things and those have been dealt with by the school. There is absolutely no question that racism is occuring.

"The OP is not happy with this and wants a reason to move the DC to the over subscribed school that was probably the first choice for the OP." Frouby is inferring that I want my son to go to another school and am making this all up for attention and to change schools. Funny i have the written evidence of abuse, which i stopped at the time which I shall be taking into school. I have also worked with the school to try to stop this for years.

"It is fine imo to want to change school. But if you don't get the outcome you want then I think it is very wrong to use racial discrimination as a card to play. " I am not playing the racial card the evidence of bullying and racism is indisputable and has been upheld and dealt with by the school. the problem is when people bully him in a different language, exclude him or call him other names eg stupid, to cover up for racism.

"Presumably the hm of the school knows more than us and her refusal to sign the paperwork speaks volumes to me" Frouby has decided the school has secret knowledge of my son which is refusing on this as unspecified grounds. How she has decided this I dont know. Why you don't like me frouby I don't know, but please stop pretending you are trying to help. You really aren't!

You say a mother accused you of being racist, but her child was just vile? Or did you just not like her child and use her behaviour as a reason why you didn't invite her?

I ask because you are being vile to me frouby for no good reason!

"Maybe you have some superior knowledge that us mere mortals are"

Not superior knowledge, just :

The LEA policy in the UK that the school cannot keep a child in a school if the parent wishes them to move.

That 10 year olds cannot have a FB account, for good reason.

Your other children are friends with some if these children (so you say), which shows that the children who follow this religion, mix with others that don't.

There may be complex reason why your son has low self esteem, it probably doesn't help that he goes to a different school than his siblings have and is exposed to abuse online (bullying involves abuse), at such a young age.

A 10 year old won't find anything online that will help to raise self esteem.

I think many posters just wondered when the Head tried to work through issues with you, you didn't want a full plan drawing up, for yourself, as well.

Whilst the Head can be involved with actual instances, it won't necessarily stop your DS from being isolated.

I do know full well that a child can become isolated in a school for a variety of instances and some groups can be very insular, however, as said, your other children have had friends from that group.

I'm guessing your son is in a school with a high Asian population, maybe East London? I'm an Asian Muslim myself, and must admit that I didn't want my son going to a school which is monocultural even if we are from the same culture! Can imagine it would lead to your son feeling like an outsider if he is different from everyone else. Unfortunately some people are just not used to socialising outside of their culture especially if they have no need to (i.e. enough friends/family they already have common ground with). That said racist attitudes and bullying should not be tolerated at all and I would be furious if kids were making up songs and bullying my child.

I posted a similar thread last year about my 5 yo ds (we now live in a much less diverse part of London) and MN made me realise that if I put some of the effort in it would make a difference, and it has. dS doesn't have loads of friends but he gets invited to the odd party and has a couple of friends he has play dates with. If there is anyone your son is friends with (and surely there is at least one?) you could maybe suggest taking them to the park/library or to eat after school?

Two principal things I don't understand:

1. Why have you allowed this to go on for 'years'?

1. Why aren't you just finding another school? As long as it has spaces the current HT cannot stop you moving your DC.

In relation to the headteacher refusing consent for the child to leave... I suspect the OP's LEA has a system very similar to mine. To transfer mid year, you have to complete a transfer request form which must be discussed with and signed by the current school (usually the head but can be signed by office manager or senior teacher in the head's absence).

It is a system which was put in place to ensure parents discuss issues with the school before making a rash decision and was very effective at reducing time wasters. And before anyone kicks off, yes some people do want to change schools for silly reasons such as "She doesn't like the uniform anymore" - this was a real and the only reason for a parent wanting to change their child's school.

That said, it is highly unusual that a headteacher would refuse to sign a transfer request. In my school, we would only refuse if a child was on the Child Protection register and the transfer was against Social Services advice.

So Sweetberry I would strongly suggest you go back to pupil services and get another transfer request form. Discuss with pupil services availability of school places on your son's school year in the LEA (or lack of). Be prepared to travel. Visit any school that might have a place. Fill in the new Transfer Request form. Take it to the Headteacher and explain that you will persist with your request. If the head refuses, take it to the Chair of Govermors and lodge a formal complaint against the head. If the head persists, you then need to go higher up in your local authority and dare I say, the local press.

The head can refuse to sign the form but has to have a very good reason to do so such as concerns over the safety if a child. If this is not the case for your son, then the headteacher is allowing their own views to cloud their decision.

I would argue that a fresh start in a new school may well be the change that you and your son need. Good luck.

Well if you have all this evidence OP then do something about it!

Music I think racism or discrimination is abhorrent. As do most decent people. Which is why I think people ought to be very, very careful about accussing others of it particularly children. If the OP was so sure that this has been happening for 4 years then why not move the child sooner. I would be in school within hours of knowing my child was being abused because of their race. And if it wasn't resolved adequately there is no way I would continue to send my child to s school that allows that to happen.

Not only would I involve the head I would br gpibg to the board of governors, the lea, my mp, social services and anyone and everyone who would listen.

I wouldn't be sat supervising my dc getting further abuse on the Internet.

Regardless of social differences children of 6 years old make friends with other children. In my DDs class there is 6, maybe 7 different cultures. Friendship groups do form sometimes based on race. But my DD is in several friendship groups all made up of different races.

I have yet to meet a 6 year old that is racist. I have met 1 or 2 that have repeated racist comments but never one that is inherently racist.

And if that is being naive I'd rather be naive and give children the benefit of doubt rather than project very adult views onto 29 kids.

I find it very naive that you do not believe anyone else apart from white english people could possibly ever be racist.

Just where did anyone say that?

I would like to thank everyone who has given good constructive positive advice. I have taken alot of this and will move heaven and earth to ensure he gets moved as it's what he wants, and I think we are far from making a rash decision.

Sorry but I'm not going to get embroiled in online fights or arguments, honestly I have enough to worry about.

Grennie Jewish people do celebrate birthdays! Think you got mixed up with Jehovah's Witnesses. Might save me a fortune on presents if we didn't!

hope you get it sorted op, if this was my son I would be canoed outside the HT office, contacting the governors, police and local MP.

if I read nasty comments in my Facebook directed at my son I would be knocking on those parents doors or again contacting the police.

but but but please can I ask you how in earth you came to have dozens of 10 year olds as face book friends??

Fiona - any LEA that refuses to process an in-year application for another school without the signature of the current school is breaking the law.

It really is as simple as filling in the from stating your preferred school and sending it on. Don't bother getting your head to counter sign it.