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AIBU?

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Original poster

To keep unvaccinated step children away from my newborn?

222 replies

sydneycat · 02/12/2013 06:23

Its a bit of a long one but here goes.

I am a step mother to two boys 4 and 6. The 6 year old has autism which my partner attributes to jabs he recieved at 6 months. As a medical professional I know there is no substance to that at all but my partner won't be swayed.
I love both boys very much and am very happy to be a part of their lives. However I am very concerned as both boys are constantly sick with colds and various bugs. We also live in a area with a low vaccination rate. My baby is due to be born in winter and there have been worsening outbreaks of whooping cough.
I am concerned about them spending time with the baby before it has its shots as the baby will have no protection against whooping cough which is highly dangerous and often fatal to very young babies.
My partner is extremely anti vaccine given his eldests autism. I love him and we are extremely happy but I am not happy about putting my baby at this much risk, what is the best way to broach this?

OP posts:
DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 03/12/2013 19:11

I thought it had been established quite a while ago that there is no link between autism and vaccination Confused

BertieBowtiesAreCool · 03/12/2013 19:21

IceBeing that's the conclusion I came to. But I tend to avoid vaccine threads in general because even though the chance is so, so small, the fear, the idea that something could happen to my child because of something that I chose for them to have is the worst thing I have ever felt.

And yet I do think that vaccination is a good thing overall. But that fear is horrendous, it very nearly put me off vaccinating. If I read too much about the possibility then I do want to take my children and run away very very far from anybody who tells me that I should get them vaccinated.

But, in the end, I chose to do it. I decided that the risks of some of the diseases were not a risk I wanted to take either, and probably higher, and I didn't have the money to do them separately (nor do I believe the DTP for example is available separately either). Some of the arguments against vaccination also only stand up when a whole population doesn't vaccinate - for example, measles which used to be considered a normal childhood disease is now treated very seriously and because of vaccination it is much more rarely seen. I decided that was risky too.

I don't like reading vaccination threads because I know if I read enough the fear will come back and I will worry incessantly about whether I made the right decision. DS is fine. It's still the scariest thing I've encountered about parenting full stop.

BertieBowtiesAreCool · 03/12/2013 19:27

When I refer to vaccine damage I don't necessarily mean autism, but there are theories (some of them probably nuts, I realise) that vaccination causes all sorts of disabilities and even cot death.

purplebaubles · 03/12/2013 19:38

Is it the MMR specifically? Would he look at separate vaccines?

I'm sitting in a confusing position at the minute. My brother has autism. My mother is convinced it was triggered through the measles vaccine. My husbands two siblings also both have autism, which MIL believes was triggered by the MMR.

As you can imagine, I really do not want to take the chance with the MMR. I'm not sure I believe that it 'causes' autism, but I do believe that if you have a set of genes which could be activated (not explained that very well but hopefully you get my drift) by having the vaccines, it's safer not to?

Are the separate vaccines a consideration? Sorry, totally a little hijack here, but if anyone can point me to a thread which maybe discusses this point, that would be helpful Smile

Pixel · 03/12/2013 20:09

nor do I believe the DTP for example is available separately either

No they aren't Angry. I had to have all three last night after the cat savaged me and I wasn't happy about that at all. Why would I want extra vaccines that I don't need? Besides, I expect the NHS would save money if someone who only needed tetanus only got tetanus Confused.
I was hoping I'd get a separate one as then I might have been able to organise the same for ds. I certainly don't want him to have three vaccines at once. He had an awful reaction to DTP as a baby and had bowel problems for years afterwards so I'm not risking it.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 03/12/2013 20:20

There's been studies in a lot of countries, on a very large scale, that have found there is no link to autism and MMR vaccine. I think people are still clinging on to the falsified study.

lottieandmia · 03/12/2013 20:35

DoYou - I don't think you've read the thread.

You can get tetanus separately but you have pay - I think they cost about £110.

lottieandmia · 03/12/2013 20:35

Sorry, my second point was to pixel

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 03/12/2013 20:46

I have read the thread actually, it really annoys me when people say that.

Pixel · 03/12/2013 21:11

Lottie thank you, I didn't know that. I asked the doctor and she just said you couldn't get them, no mention of them being available if you pay. Will have to investigate Smile.

lottieandmia · 03/12/2013 21:18

'I have read the thread actually, it really annoys me when people say that.'

Well if you read the thread then why are you posting as if the thread is about MMR? And why are you ignoring all the points that people have made about vaccine damage generally?

Pixel, I was not quite correct about the price but this clinic appears to offer single tetanus boosters

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 03/12/2013 21:27

lottie Because I picked up on a few posts that mentioned it, so did you read the thread?

And I'm not ignoring anything, just stating it doesn't cause MMR and it's an archaic belief that it does.

bumbleymummy · 03/12/2013 23:36

tetanol Pur is the name of one of the single tetanus vaccines iirc

Pagwatch · 04/12/2013 07:46

DoYouLikeMyBaubles

Are we now trying to figure what causes MMR or was that meant to read 'autism' Confused

I don't think anyone has said that the MMR causes autism have they?

What I have said is that my son developed autism and a number of other difficulties after a series of triggers which included chicken pox and the MMR. We already have a family history of adverse reactions to vaccination.

I am not sure what about that is archaic.

saintlyjimjams · 04/12/2013 07:47

Doyoulike - the research supposedly disproving the link between autism and the MMR treated autism as one condition (it's not) and showed it wasn't behind the increase in numbers diagnosed with autism (no-one said it was). If that's good enough for you great.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 04/12/2013 08:09

I know I commented that these threads make me upset and cross but I have a question for those in the know:

I think I've read somewhere that there is a belief that autism may be part of the autoimmune family of conditions? If so, they may be able to identify an antibody or similar that can predict or suggest autism?

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 04/12/2013 08:10

Pagwatch yes sorry I got it mixed up, rushing.

Saintly I suppose you've read them all? The studies I've read don't simple aknowledge the numbers, but the link as a whole. There is no proof that the MMR causes or triggers autism and people won't think so anecdotallay if it wasn't for the scaremongering study that obvious still lingers in the back of people's minds.

But that said, people are entitled to believe what they want to believe.

Pagwatch · 04/12/2013 09:06

DoYouLikeMyBaubles

But that's simply not true.

My son is 17. He regressed and developed bowel problems after his MMR. He had a huge red raised lump at the site of thejab and was unwell for days. He then lost skills including all his language.

That was what prompted the trips to the Doctor and the figuring out what was happening which later led to a diagnosis of asd.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 04/12/2013 17:31

Sorry shameful bump for anyone who can answer my q above?

2Tinsellytocare · 04/12/2013 17:32

I don't know Candy but keeping bumped in the hope you get an answer

saintlyjimjams · 05/12/2013 15:29

candy -I think you're probably thinking about this: sfari.org/news-and-opinion/news/2013/large-study-links-autism-to-autoimmune-disease-in-mothers Definitely an interesting area. Paul Patterson is worth a google for research in this area as well. He's interested in how infections in pregnancy might alter the risk of autism & is pretty good at communicating with the public

Yes doyoulike I have read them all. I don't quite understand what you are saying. I'm saying the epidemiological studies (which these are) do not acknowledge that autism is not one thing (it is multiple conditions). The issue is whether small number of children with a particular subtype of autism had that triggered by vaccination. That question has not been asked, nor answered.

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