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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep unvaccinated step children away from my newborn?

222 replies

sydneycat · 02/12/2013 06:23

Its a bit of a long one but here goes.

I am a step mother to two boys 4 and 6. The 6 year old has autism which my partner attributes to jabs he recieved at 6 months. As a medical professional I know there is no substance to that at all but my partner won't be swayed.
I love both boys very much and am very happy to be a part of their lives. However I am very concerned as both boys are constantly sick with colds and various bugs. We also live in a area with a low vaccination rate. My baby is due to be born in winter and there have been worsening outbreaks of whooping cough.
I am concerned about them spending time with the baby before it has its shots as the baby will have no protection against whooping cough which is highly dangerous and often fatal to very young babies.
My partner is extremely anti vaccine given his eldests autism. I love him and we are extremely happy but I am not happy about putting my baby at this much risk, what is the best way to broach this?

OP posts:

saintlyjimjams · 02/12/2013 18:57

Rogue smiley - obviously couldn't see my keyboard through the tears

NewBlueCoat · 02/12/2013 18:57

Clearly there's a lot of them about, saintly!

DziezkoDisco · 02/12/2013 18:57

Of course they discredited the autism/vaccination link, there was no evidence in the first place. Sadly they havent discredited the death/serious disability link between the illnesses vaccinated against.

FluffyJumper · 02/12/2013 19:00

I think it is normal to want to make connections and establish causal links. My grandma ate a bag of strawberries before her heart attack. She would swear blind forever after the strawberries caused her heart attack. I don't think they did.

how-vaccine-scares-respect-local-cultural-boundaries

lottieandmia · 02/12/2013 19:00

Dziezko - your post makes no sense. And the possibility that vaccines cause brain damage in some cases has not been discredited at all.

It seems you can accept that an illness can cause a disability. So why not a vaccination?

NewBlueCoat · 02/12/2013 19:02

Fluffy, could you answer my question? Do you think the medical professional who suggested to me that my dd was damaged by vaccination was so grief stricken/upset that he was just looking for a quick, easy answer?

lottieandmia · 02/12/2013 19:02

FluffyJumper - you are conveniently ignoring the fact that vaccine damage is possible and people are compensated for it.

FluffyJumper · 02/12/2013 19:05

I am sure vaccine damage happens, I just don't think it causes autism. If it does why is the UK the only country to have discovered this?

I think maybe they gave bad advice, or said what you wanted to hear, or you heard what you wanted to hear.

NewBlueCoat · 02/12/2013 19:07

It is well documented and accepted in a range of countries that vaccine damage can trigger autism.

I think you are the one suffering from selective hearing/reading if you cannot find any evidence for this.

lottieandmia · 02/12/2013 19:08

FluffyJumper - do you actually know anything about autism? Because it is not one thing and some types of autism are brain damage.

FluffyJumper · 02/12/2013 19:08

lottieandmia clearly Dziezko is pointing out that even though vaccines will occasionally cause damage, this is very, very minor in comparison with the damage that the illnesses we vaccinate against cause.

NewBlueCoat · 02/12/2013 19:09

And, tbh, there was no room for mishearing or misunderstanding what was said to me.

lottieandmia · 02/12/2013 19:09

But it's not 'minor' for the families of the child who have the fall out to deal with is it?

Dollydowser · 02/12/2013 19:10

Acquired immunity from vaccination doesn't last, where as immunity from having a childhood disease does. Do there for I have done my dd an enormous favour by not vaccinating her from WC, as she has now had WC and will be able to pass on the immunity through her breast milk if she has a baby, and won't be in the position you are in.

If, as you say, there is no link between vaccination and disability, why do the government have a Damage Fund?

FluffyJumper · 02/12/2013 19:11

No it is not. And this thread has clearly crossed my line of not saying on mumsnet what I wouldn't say to someone's face, so I'm off. Non vaccinators just give me the rage though!

DziezkoDisco · 02/12/2013 19:12

Fluffy, better put than me thank you. Newcoat - can you point out this research please, I would be interested as Ive never found any well carried out studies. Thanks

NewBlueCoat · 02/12/2013 19:12

Righto.

You get asked some tricky questions, and scarper rather than stop with the selective hearing. How easy it is for some to remain ignorant.

lottieandmia · 02/12/2013 19:17

Fluffy - if you thought you child could be damaged by a vaccine you wouldn't give it to them. You give them the vaccine because you assume they won't be affected. For some people the choice is more complex. Can't you try to imagine what life is like for people who have a different set of circumstances than you rather than posting mean comments about them 'giving you the rage'? Not vaccinating isn't a choice anyone makes lightly.

lottieandmia · 02/12/2013 19:18

your child*

lottieandmia · 02/12/2013 19:20

Nobody has answered my question either;

if you can accept that an illness can cause a disability, then why not a vaccination?

NewBlueCoat · 02/12/2013 19:29

Lottie, you already know the answer - because they just can't

DziezkoDisco · 02/12/2013 19:59

Lottie - I'm totally open to it the possibility but would need strong evidence to back it up.

saintlyjimjams · 02/12/2013 20:19

Oh the usual people who know nothing about autism(s) but know exactly why our children regressed & have diagnosed us (& our doctors) with grief induced paranoia & delusions.

There is enough information on this thread for someone genuinely interested in autism to search & find recent research & researchers to talk to directly. But my guess is that no one will. Same old same old.

saintlyjimjams · 02/12/2013 20:27

Oh I missed that parebts lost the ability to understand what is said to them when their child is diagnosed with autism. Does delusional thinking replace arrogance & black & white thinking (oh the irony) when your child is delivered with an autism diagnosis then?

Fluffy - when you have a severely disabled child you have multiple appointments with doctors year after year - every new doctor involves history taking, repeat appointments often involve talking about siblings. Many annual reviews I bring up the latest research to discuss. I'm not sure it's possible to mishear different doctors over decades. I'm also quite clear that they don't always agree with each other & that there are huge gaps in everyone's knowledge & decisions have to be made in that reality.

Pagwatch · 02/12/2013 20:38

The 'wanting to find a reason' line s without doubt the most dull witted thing that gets trotted out with shocking regularity.

How did I pass my apparent irrationality onto my DDs GP and the consultant investigating her asthma? I am dead persuasive me.

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