To keep unvaccinated step children away from my newborn?

[sydneycat]

Its a bit of a long one but here goes.

I am a step mother to two boys 4 and 6. The 6 year old has autism which my partner attributes to jabs he recieved at 6 months. As a medical professional I know there is no substance to that at all but my partner won't be swayed.
I love both boys very much and am very happy to be a part of their lives. However I am very concerned as both boys are constantly sick with colds and various bugs. We also live in a area with a low vaccination rate. My baby is due to be born in winter and there have been worsening outbreaks of whooping cough.
I am concerned about them spending time with the baby before it has its shots as the baby will have no protection against whooping cough which is highly dangerous and often fatal to very young babies.
My partner is extremely anti vaccine given his eldests autism. I love him and we are extremely happy but I am not happy about putting my baby at this much risk, what is the best way to broach this?

First world? You think having a child who will never live independently & never speak is first world? Because I don't know what the 'fucking idiot' dad's reality is but that's mine.

And I'm not slagging off the health service. I said it's rare to find a doctor who knows much about the biology of autism. That's not slagging the health service off, it's just fact. Most doctors would agree with this. I am delightedly grateful when I do meet someone who knows more than me - it makes a massive difference, especially when discussing the wider issues of things like whether or not to vaccinate siblings (not that helpful trying to have a discussion with someone who knows bugger all about autism). As an aside if the OP of her partner wants to find out where current thoughts are she would probably do better talking directly to the researchers in the autism-immune system field.

Who slagged off the health service?

Or do you mean that any suggestion that it is not perfect is a slagging off. Because that would be a bit chippy and childish wouldn't it?

Agree with pagwatch and saintly.

I've been on the receiving end of a bewildered look and a "but she's a girl?!" when I told a GP dd1 is autistic.

On the whole, the vast majority of the health service know bugger all about autism.

I don't have step children (wouldn't date a man with children) but I would not want unvacd children near a newborn and I also fail to see why the new mum and new baby should leave the house, why can the dad not see the children else where?

She is their step mum and has as much right and a day or she is not and thus they are not her concern..

Most will bitch about a step mum who does not give a shit yet won't respect the fact as step mum she should get to decide on things

YANBU

I would keep unvacinated children away from my newborn baby - relative or not. Newborns are succeptible to things because they have a lowered immune system and personally I wouldn't want to watch my baby get ill with something like whooping cough.

In our experience the doctors went very good at recognising whooping cough. It want until we were in a and e and they actually saw her go Blue and whoop it was diagnosed.

I don't think gps can hear it on their chest.

If it was me I would definitely keep the new baby away from them. Once baby has had all his/her jabs and is fully protected then you could re evaluate things.

Just make sure you breastfeed and then your baby will have your immunity. The longer the better. It will be impossible to keep his kids away from your kids, and they don't pose a real risk due to herd immunity. Please don't worry, but do what you can to increase baby's immunity through breastfeeding etc.

of course you dont keep them away, unless they actually HAVE the diseases.

Unvaccinated children arent a hotbed of anthrax and airborne cancer aids. Theyre just children, who if they dont seem unwell, probably arent unwell.

I bf but as I didn't know I hadn't been vaccinated as a child (I'm 34 and a lot weren't vaccinated in my generation) I didn't have immunity to pass on. Seeing a small baby blue because they can't breathe and having to check every20minds day and night that they've drawn breathe while I'll yourself is awful.

Your partner sounds irrational. If you to choose not to vaccinate then there may be consequences. People who want to protect their children will want to keep yours away.

More difficult when it's the same family.

Will this child be vaccinated?

op my dd had whopping cough at 3 weeks old caught off me and dcs. we had all been vaccinated.

she was very ill and to see a child literally purple with coughing and breath holding was terrifying and I too am a medical professional.

you need to iron this out now with your partner or how will you ever be able to protect this child?

my baby was being exclusively breast fed and that made no difference tbh.

Are people actually reading other posts before they comment themselves? Have all of those people saying they would keep their newborn away from an unvaccinated child taken on board the fact that even a vaccinated child may no longer be immune - or the Dad himself/any other visitors who come along? What about the OP - she hasn't said whether she's getting the WC vaccine so she may not be immune either.

thebody - 'how will you ever be able to protect this child'

You've just said that you had all been vaccinated and your baby caught it anyway.

Northern, even if you'd had the vaccine as a child, your immunity to it would probably have waned by adulthood anyway. Although, if it is circulating at the moment then our immunity should be getting boosted.

well we were told that she must have caught it from an unvaccinated child in the playground on the school run.

my point was really that as we had all been vaccinated and I was bf we didn't think she would be at risk.

when dd4 was born I had her in a face me sling and kept random kids away from her until she was vaccinated.

whooping cough is dreadful.

The only ones in our family or circle of friends who caught it were in vaccinated. My partner didn't get it as he was vaccinated.

I purposely didn't go to an ap group I'd been going to after the birth of the second child as there's no point putting yourself at unnecessary risk.

If you've seen how ill a baby can be and fear risk of death again you do what you can to minimise the risk.

Due to my anxiety about the risk we also mainly avoided shopping centres and swimming pools in the first few months too and v kept in sling when could.

I have no idea of the right thing to do when it's step children but I understand wanting to protect the baby and I would have avoided wider family of I knew they'd been unvaxed. At least for the first few months. But it was a very real concern of mine.

The body - sounds like we had similar experiences, it's awful isn't it.

Northern totally. very very frightening.

Cant a vaccinated person carry the virus anyway?
This is certainly the case with flu.