Excluded from school nativity

[scoobysnac]

I have just been advised by my sons teacher that he not be participating in the school nativity play due to his attention issues. He will be 3 in January. He has been in 2 other productions at a previous nursery and he was extremely attentive and performed well.

They have said he can come and watch but I don't think it's fair for home to do that in the circumstances. I have discussed this with friends and I laws and they are all really shocked that the nursery would do this.

I was extremely upset earlier today but now I'm just angry that the nursery would put their production above a child's happiness. Rather ironic that it's a nativity and they are acting extremely unchristian.

It's not like he was auditioning for a part and did not win. That would be explainable to an older child but he's 2 years old and will feel left out if all his friends are taking part.

I did post this on another thread and receive pd some very scathing remarks inferring my vanity has been hurt. This is not the case. I just don't feel it's acceptable to exclude a 2 year of for lack of concentration.

Am I being unreasonable to demand they give him a part especially in view of the expensive fees they charge.

So you re-posted in AIBU for a more sympathetic hearing?

Are you new to Mumsnet?

The expensive fees weren't mentioned previously!

Yes you are being very unreasonable. He is 2. He won't miss out on anything. You are being ridiculous to be so het up over this.

Don't send him in that day if you really feel (truely and honestly - and not just YOUR feelings) he would even notice, much less care.

No not after a more sympathetic views. I read a thread similar to my issue posted last week and wanted to hear from people who has this issue happen to the.

You left out that 5 others are also not in it

is he the only one left out?

what are his 'attention issues'

I don't think anyone inferred your 'vanity had been hurt'. I think it was the implication that he would be psychologically damaged by being 'excluded'!'

Are any two year old taking part?

One preschool I know off is only having the three/four years olds doing the actual production bit, with the 2year olds comming in to sing at the end....becuase not one of them would be able to sit still long enough.

I don't think anyone should be excluded from the nativity, unless they don't want to participate.

Perhaps it's no longer the nursery you want for your son? Sounds like their priority is an outstanding performance rather than an inclusive one. Our pre-school didn't do any sort of performance at all, just went in to watch them do singing time for 10 minutes on the very last day as they left - fine by me!

My DS was an excellent shepard at this age. He held a sheep, sucked his thumb and nearly fell asleep. Becuase he found the whole thing boring. Other children may deal with their boredom differently.

Are all the other children in the performance 2?

The fact that he performed well in previous plays, and the fact you pay a lot for the privilege of sending him to this nursery, are irrelevant.

I assume they have their reasons for making this his punishment, and harsh as it may seem, they probably are not doing it lightly and think it is an appropriate course of action.

I agree- it is miserable of the school. My DS was the same age as yours last year, and had NO ability to sit still- he and a number of other children were wandering around the stage, fiddling with their reindeer ears and waving at family. At the end of the singing my DS segued into a rousing chorus of "Fireman Sam". Everyone laughed. It was cute, inclusive and rather lovely. I think your school sounds a bit po-faced about it all.

A nativity play for 2 year olds???

I've heard it all now.

OP, have you informed the nursery your DS is an experienced performer?

I think it is a bit crap actually, a nursery play, ffs it is not a west end production! Aren't they supposed to be inclusive? Why can't they just sit him on the stage in an ox/camel/sheep costume? At my DD's nursery nativity she was an ox, and she was so nervous she would only sit on stage if she could sit on my lap- the nursery were fine with that and no one seemed to care on the day that there was some random Mum on the stage! I certainly would not send him in on the day if you feel it would upset him,, and I would tell the nursery why.

To be fair, dancer girl, most preschools do nativity plays/Christmas songs etc, and the op's ds is not far off 3.

Couldn't they dress him as a lamb or goat and he can just wonder around on tge stage like an animal would

He's 2. Plenty of time. Take him to watch, he'll enjoy it just as much.
Plus this is AIBU, perhaps not the best choice of topic.
YABU, by the way.

Op you mentioned on your prev thread 'Social exclusion' dc is very young....I think perhaps your fears may be a little extreme

My sons old nursery solved the "attention issue" by letting all the children who could not sit still for long play "sheep" in the play. They were gorgeous, fluffy and white, and crawling about randomly among the shepherds....

I absolutely cannot believe that people think it is ok to exclude a child from the nativity play! He will be aware of it because the whole time at nursery the other children will be getting ready and practising...OP is right, it's cruel and ridiculous - the charm of little children's nativity plays is that they get it wrong and it's cute...what's wrong with the nursery?!

Is this a TAAT?

The "expensive fees" are utterly irrelebavt and I do wonder wh OP has mentioned them.

Is he the only child his age omitted?