Excluded from school nativity

[scoobysnac]

I have just been advised by my sons teacher that he not be participating in the school nativity play due to his attention issues. He will be 3 in January. He has been in 2 other productions at a previous nursery and he was extremely attentive and performed well.

They have said he can come and watch but I don't think it's fair for home to do that in the circumstances. I have discussed this with friends and I laws and they are all really shocked that the nursery would do this.

I was extremely upset earlier today but now I'm just angry that the nursery would put their production above a child's happiness. Rather ironic that it's a nativity and they are acting extremely unchristian.

It's not like he was auditioning for a part and did not win. That would be explainable to an older child but he's 2 years old and will feel left out if all his friends are taking part.

I did post this on another thread and receive pd some very scathing remarks inferring my vanity has been hurt. This is not the case. I just don't feel it's acceptable to exclude a 2 year of for lack of concentration.

Am I being unreasonable to demand they give him a part especially in view of the expensive fees they charge.

What on earth do they expect from 2 year olds - surely the nursery assistants are skilled at herding toddlers - my ds was a 10 mth old "star" at his first nursery - the assistants did just do their best to keep the v little ones mostly contained - there is little more you can expect - I suspect the person "directing" the nativity really needs to get over themselves - if they can't think of something for the free spirits in their care they really should get a grip!

WHEN DD2 was in Y1 one of the boys was excluded from the nativity because he was so badly behaved he had spoiled it for everyone else the previous year.He had to sit with his mum in the audience.Everyone was very thankful.

It sounds like they have serious problems at the nursery and are blaming your DS for their inability to cope with normal 2 year old behaviour. They should really be asking themselves: 'what are we doing wrong here?' Not insisting there's something wrong with him.

Intit, this is a typical toddler, not a school age child. He dies not understand what he s doing wrong and does nt seem 'badly behaved'

Exactly Arvitary, sounds like te nursery has t seriously wrong

3 year olds are supposed to walk slowly? Which ones? The only 3 year olds I've ever seen have been either sprinting or trotting! Expect more excuses in the run up to the play scooby, they sound determined to rival RADA...
Isn't walking classed as a gross motor skill btw?

Back you are right of course, I apologise for being snarky. Taking into account the attitude of the staff, they clearly see themselves as a school and not a nursery.

Intit Punishing a child for something they did a YEAR before is draconian! Surely it would be better to have had him sat on the end of a row so he could be removed if disrupted the play? He was 4/5 in the first play and 5/6 in the second FFS! OK so old enough to know better, but that seems cruel to me.

Op you referred to 'head teacher' is this Nursery attached to a school as in pre school/reception? Or is it a private nursery? Just curious as to if its just a nursery in its own right, then surely all the children are your ds age(ish) ....and can't keep still....tear around as ALL two year olds do....

initgrand - so said boy was punished a whole year later? I bet that taught him a lesson

Op - YANBU.Find another nursery/childminder/Mary Poppins or something more tolerant of toddlerdom.

Only1scoop it's a private nursery. Children aged 2-5. 2 classes with mixed ages.

Think tomorrow will b spent nursery hunting.

The first Christmas DS2 was in special school I cried when he had a part in the Christmas production. He was 7. He'd been excluded every year up until then for 'attention issues'.

Shame on anyone here advocating exclusion for any child. You're disgusting.

As it's mixed ages, and only a handful denied the chance to perform, then YANBU. I just don't see how they can contemplate this.

Our nursery divided the children into two groups by age (not mixed groups like yours) and the two groups had different productions. The littlies did a singing and galumphing dancing Christmas concert and the pre-schoolers did a play. And all DC took part. And Santa (proprietor's DH roped in for the occasion) gave every performer a gift.

Op yadnbu, he is nearly three, he will feel excluded, i can't believe earlier on people were telling you to 'get a grip' !! I would speak to the nursery manager

I'd have been gutted if either DD had been excluded from their nursery productions. They were hilariously riotous, and memories I will always treasure. Even the smallest child got a part, even if it was just running about being a star/sheep/badly behaved Angel

OP YADNBU at all :(

bogey it has to stay slightly traditional - we're a Sunday school. The oldies might not fill the collection plate as well if we deviate... Although I suspect Jesus may get a play station instead of myrrh, because "what baby wants these silly things?!" :D

Op wow, so it's just a nursery of little ones....seems a very different set up to my dd nursery....she is 3. They are having a little concert (just the 3-4 year olds) the tinies have a little puppet show instead. ALL children are involved though. Sounds like quite a formal nursery to have a Head teacher. I would speak to them....the other 5 excluded parents may have concerns also. Good luck

Szeli

Luckily our lot pride themselves on being modern (ish)! So the mainly elderly congregation dealt quite well with last years Jedi themed wise men (which tbh I thought was rather clever of the kids to come up with!). This year DD (11) has been roped in as the Angel Gabriel and is wearing silver disco jeans and sequined Tshirt. She did ask if she could say "Mary mate, you're knocked up!" but she assures me she was joking :o

Weird thing is, H and I are atheist but the kids aren't, through their choice, so we have more to do with the church nativity than many of the church members!

Bogey

DD's class did 'A Christmas Carol' last year, complete with rapping ghosts and Scrooge doing the caterpillar. It was inspired!

I think rapping might be a step too far for our lot, but it sounds brilliant! I am always so impressed at what kids can do when they are allowed to try. You go to the reception class nativity fully expecting utter carnage and they are always so beautifully behaved (age allowing!) and perform their parts so well. My 8 year old DS and his mates can be riotous at times but pull it together so well for plays and things, most children can, if they are given the chance.

Intit Punishing a child for something they did a YEAR before is draconian
I don't think it was supposed to be a punishment.More a preventative ,measure so he didn't wreck it for the other children who wee all doing their best

Based on what though? A 4 year old who couldnt behave one year so was assumed would not behave the second year?

Just seems wrong to me, but I am sure hope there is more to it than you are posting. Does he have ongoing issues?

If it wasn't a punishment, it was bloody cruel to make him sit in the audience and watch. They could've found something else for him to be doing elsewhere in school.

I agree heartbroken

"This is what you could have been doing if you had behaved last year" is pretty much guaranteed to make sure he never behaves again.

Always the carrot, never the stick.

Bogey that would be amazing! V. Traditional over here, there was muttering over the blonde Mary... It is 'younging up' tho.