Excluded from school nativity

[scoobysnac]

I have just been advised by my sons teacher that he not be participating in the school nativity play due to his attention issues. He will be 3 in January. He has been in 2 other productions at a previous nursery and he was extremely attentive and performed well.

They have said he can come and watch but I don't think it's fair for home to do that in the circumstances. I have discussed this with friends and I laws and they are all really shocked that the nursery would do this.

I was extremely upset earlier today but now I'm just angry that the nursery would put their production above a child's happiness. Rather ironic that it's a nativity and they are acting extremely unchristian.

It's not like he was auditioning for a part and did not win. That would be explainable to an older child but he's 2 years old and will feel left out if all his friends are taking part.

I did post this on another thread and receive pd some very scathing remarks inferring my vanity has been hurt. This is not the case. I just don't feel it's acceptable to exclude a 2 year of for lack of concentration.

Am I being unreasonable to demand they give him a part especially in view of the expensive fees they charge.

If he was older and auditioned for a part and did get it that's fair enough.

Yes he has been in 2 other productions sounds crazy at 2yrs. He was an ant and a Jamaican flag very important parts!!!! When I mean he performed well I just mean he didn't shout out mummy or pick his nose. He's a 2 year old I'm not being inrealistic.

My DD1 who has Moderate Learning Difficulties was a Christmas Pudding at the preschool nativity. Who knew that the girl who needed 1:1 support would have the loudest, most confident singing voice? She stood up there, proud as punch, singing 'Christmas Pudding'.

OP, YANBU.

DD1 goes to a special school with children who are classified as having Profound and Multiple Learning Difficulties, Severe Learning Difficulties, Moderate Learning Difficulties, Downs Syndrome, ASD, ADHD, etc., etc. Some of the children are very challenging, some can't stand to be in a busy environment for more than a minute or two, but every single child gets a part that is suitable for them in the Christmas Play.

There is a lot of bitchiness on this thread!

The child is 2 FFS! Old enough to know he isnt being included but not old enough to understand why. At primary school every child is included in the Xmas plays in some way, usually singing, because there are only a handful of parts in the actual nativity, but the kids understand that!

They should cast the unincluded kids as Jesus (in a sort of Dr Who rotation perhaps!) because there was no room for him either.

YANBU. But I would see my arse to such a fantastic extent that I'd remove my child from such a previous stuck up establishment and then pay for it to be rendered in pig shit.

Fwiw my 3 year old refused to partake at all, and I whispered to DH "oh god we've got the bad kid!" Then a man nudged us and said "no you haven't. Look down." And there, lying between his feet in furious silence was a shepherd who never even made it on stage.

Fuck em, they sound awful.

Our nativity has the 6/7 year olds with the lines doing the bulk of the piece, the attentive 3/4 year olds as angels and all the littlies 2ish as shepherds and animals; and an 8mo JC, if they run off so be it, if they sing the wrong bits there's older kids singing the right bits. I fully expect it to be chaos but it isn't a GCSE set piece it's a fully inclusive Christmas nativity as it should be and all the children get to be involved (we didnt allow the dinosaur script changes one boy wanted however)

I think nursery are being ridiculous and I would be inclined to mention to them perhaps the 6 could make up barn animals? They will have to do minimal extra prep

When my DS was at pre-school he was 'the donkey' (yes, THE donkey, there was only one and the little bugger got bored, grabbed some of the hay and smothered the Baby Jesus in his manger.

Eat your heart out, Daniel Day Lewis.

OP whether he's done other things or how much you pay to send him there is irrelevant, the fact is that the nursery staff have got all caught up in the pressure to put on the perfect school play when all most parents want is to see their children dressing up, looking cute and singing Christmas songs regardless of age or ability. He's nearly 3 so he will certainly notice that his friends are doing something exciting and getting do do things that he isn't.
I don't blame you for not wanting to send him in. YANBU.

YANBU. I can't see any reason why your DS couldn't be given a minor part (e.g. sheep, star etc) which would allow him to be taken out if things all got a bit too much.

Why not mention it to the nursery and ask if they can do a little something....have you mentioned it to the other parents of the other 5....perhaps they feel the same?

Oh, and I think it's unfair for him to be left out.

It's a pre-school nativity, not a West End production of Jesus Christ, Superstar (wears a pair of frilly knickers and a bra).

Sorry, couldn't resist that last. I'll get me coat.

Missed your last post, is it wrong that I really want to know what play needed an ant?

Ds2's teacher warned us that he might not be in the harvest festival assembly thing. Not because they were planning to exclude him but because he resolutely refuses to dance, under any circumstances.

He has a line in the loosely nativity based Christmas play this year. He's been practising saying it in a nice loud voice. It's hilarious. At nursery he was the donkey. According to him, that was by far the best part.

The nursery has forgotten how to behave. I would be hurt. Change nurseries.

Heart Broken .... throwing

YANBU to feel that the nursery staff are incredibly precious about this. I'd worry as to how much they expect of him generally.

I'm also shocked that anyone could suggest that bring excluded might be his 'punishment'. He is 2!

But YAB and bit U to be so upset/angry or to think that he will mind very much about it. But I would really question whether the nursery is the right one for your DS

Yanbu

It is nursery so the nativity is never going to be perfect' just the opportunity for the dc to dress up and celebrate christmas.

Only1scoop - thank you, thank you. I'm here til Thursday. Try the chicken!

Someyhingkingooud it was not a play as such but a concert. The youngest children were ants and sang a one line song. He had a great time

I would actually be very worried about a nursery who were desperate to have my son diagnosed with SN and determined to exclude him from stuff on that basis. That's a sign that something is very wrong. The sort of very wrong ofsted would be interested in.

HeartB....encore

(we didnt allow the dinosaur script changes one boy wanted however)

Gah you damned traditionalists! You have no sense of adventure! Didnt you know that the fundementalists have proved that Mary rode to Bethlehem on a Triceratops?!

My friend's mum has taught nursery since Roman times and takes the view that even dissenters must be accommodated in the Nativity. This peaked the year they had a Christmas Spaceman, but as she said, "it kept him quiet and he already had the costume..."

Surely the best bits of a nativity are the funny things the little children do- wandering about/ asking for the toilet/ waving at parents.

The nativity will have the pleasure of some residents from the local military hospital so I think they don't want any children who are independent and may make them look silly. Maybe they will be taking the performance to the west end after all!

YANBU.
I've put on a Christmas play or two in my time and NO CHILD would ever be excluded. It's not about the parent's enjoyment, it's about the children having fun, enjoying the moment and picking their noses singing songs together.
I think excluding a little one is disgraceful (lets not talk about what OFSTED would say...)