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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask in what way have I harmed my baby by not bf?

223 replies

LostMarbles99 · 22/11/2013 23:55

Before my baby arrived I decided I was going to ff. Ds is 10 months now and I still get little pangs of regret that I didn't try to bf.

There have been lots of threads on here recently about bf/ff and one person said how they felt so sad the baby didn't even get the first feed from its mother.

I totally get that some people cant bf but I didn't even try. Was this really wrong of me? Be honest?

OP posts:
Greythorne · 22/11/2013 23:56

Virgin gut?

lisad123everybodydancenow · 22/11/2013 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IneedAsockamnesty · 22/11/2013 23:58

Yabu because its bloody obvious that this is a bun fight seeking thread.

BuzzardBird · 22/11/2013 23:58

Fred about a fred?

WorraLiberty · 22/11/2013 23:59

I'm not entirely sure why we need a separate thread on this subject?

If you've read the other one, you'll see all the various opinions that will answer your question.

AgentZigzag · 22/11/2013 23:59

Of course you haven't harmed him!

How you decide to feed your baby is completely up to you.

What does it matter what some internet random says on a forum? (which I am of course Grin)

There are/will be plenty more serious things to feel guilty about, pick your battles guilt.

ScrambledSmegs · 22/11/2013 23:59

Greythorne, did you mean to post that?

OP. No. You did not harm your baby by not trying to bf. Don't be daft. YAB massively U by asking such a loaded question though.

BuzzardBird · 22/11/2013 23:59

Tis true pixie I am getting very bored of it now...

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/11/2013 23:59

If you feel bad starting a thread about it in AIBU probably isn't the way.

Do you really not know the benefits of BF/harms of FF? Really?

Here you go.

usualsuspect · 22/11/2013 23:59

Do we need another bf v ff thread?

Didn't we just have one.

Fwiw I ff all three of mine I feel no guilt.

They are all grown up and couldn't give a toss how I fed them.

stopgap · 23/11/2013 00:00

I don't think it was wrong of you at all. You did what you felt was right for your baby, and that's good enough, just as I breastfed my son for 18 months in the hope of staving off various food and environmental allergies that are endemic in my family. We each do what works best for our own situation.

BertieBowtiesAreCool · 23/11/2013 00:00

Did you decide to feed him arsenic instead of milk? Then no, you haven't harmed him. HTH.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 23/11/2013 00:00

No. You made the right decision for you and your baby at the time. Your baby was fed, and has thrived. That is all that matters.
Please don't beat yourself up over this.
Sure given your time again you may have tried it and found is was right for you - but that involves a lot of hindsight or possibly a spot of time travel Tardis (sorry couldn't help it lol).
You can't change that decision, but you did not make a bad decision - you fed a hungry baby with whatever felt right at the time.

Caitlin17 · 23/11/2013 00:01

You haven't harmed your baby in any way. For a first world baby born to a healthy, sensible mother in a stable secure environment it will make no difference.

WorraLiberty · 23/11/2013 00:01

Or rather it won't answer your question...because you'll find some people are vehemently pro BF, some are vehemently pro FF, many are vehemently pro choice and many really don't give a shiny shit how people feed their kids because it's none of their business...

BuzzardBird · 23/11/2013 00:01

Agent is an internet random... Grin

AgentZigzag · 23/11/2013 00:01

There's always room for another bf/ff thread worra Wink

AgentZigzag · 23/11/2013 00:02

I think there should be more bf/ff threads, it'd take peoples minds off how much Christmas is costing them.

WorraLiberty · 23/11/2013 00:03

If you're throwing jammy buns around I'll have one Ziggers!

WestieMamma · 23/11/2013 00:03

Formula is a lot better than what my baby tried to feed himself on today.

usualsuspect · 23/11/2013 00:06

When they are guzzling red bull as teenagers you won't care what you fed them as babies.

radiatormesh · 23/11/2013 00:06

Caitlin - 'It will make no difference'.

So the stats about the huge health benefits of BF rather than FF are total rubbish then???! What utter drivel.

FF is not bad, but BF has been proven to be better.

End of.

Goldmandra · 23/11/2013 00:07

I guess if your baby has had infections which BFing could have helped him fight and perhaps he's been left with glue ear or similar, you may have indirectly caused a small degree of harm.

However only you will know if that's a possibility and nobody could say it or sure so why are you asking MNers?

Do you worry a lot that you've harmed him? If so you should probably see your HV or GP.

AgentZigzag · 23/11/2013 00:08
BlingBang · 23/11/2013 00:09

I'm sure your baby is fine and hasn't been harmed but as BM is supposed to be superior then it's possible he might have missed out on the benefits it's supposed to bring. I doubt you will ever find out if it would have made any difference.