AIBU to ask in what way have I harmed my baby by not bf?

[LostMarbles99]

Before my baby arrived I decided I was going to ff. Ds is 10 months now and I still get little pangs of regret that I didn't try to bf.

There have been lots of threads on here recently about bf/ff and one person said how they felt so sad the baby didn't even get the first feed from its mother.

I totally get that some people cant bf but I didn't even try. Was this really wrong of me? Be honest?

Caitlin just because your DC are fortunate enough to be healthy, doesn't mean you can override medical evidence and state bf makes no difference.

Anecdotal evidence is useless, you need to look at the statistics overall.

mini because harmed is a very strong word to use.

Yeah and research gets knocked down again. "Research"to prove one thing one minute,"research" which discredits it the next.

Hospital admissions which considering the vast amount of bottles made up and consumed are rare are due to poor hygiene and poor bottle making.

"Identifiable differences" um very few babies are exclusively bf in this country and the vast maj are mixed fed and you'll find differences from many parenting choices,this is no more worthy than many others.

Some you win,some you lose on the parenting road.If you keep a balance and provide a healthy lifestyle overall there is sfa to worry about.

Yes will and the stat figures are minescule soooooo the stat twisting and scaremongering is pointless.

Miniscule

Nobody has harmed their baby by formula feeding.

I formula fed all three of mine from the word go. I don't regret it at all. All are happy and health teenagers now, doing well at school etc.

Formula is NOT poison.

Each to their own. Obviously you haven't harmed tour baby. Feed your baby as you will but there are clear benefits to BFing that can't be ignored - the child is less likely to be obese when older, less likely to get diabetes type 2, will carry immunity from the mother, will be fed exactly as nature intended, will have less chance of getting eczema, less chance of getting vomiting. Mother benefits from lower rates of breast and ovarian cancer. Also easy on the pocket.

Would just like to say that I have to ds's I didn't breast feed my first born (traumatic 33hr labour and I was in no fit state) but I did bf my now 3yr old and it is my lovely youngest ds that has suffered and is still suffering with eczema and he was also more sickly then his big brother was. I just wish that mums would stop making other mums feel guilty for doing what is right for them....surely we should all be supportive of each other in doing our best.

Bollocks retro you're stat twisting and scare mongering.

Ifyou prepare bottles correctly which my 8 year old could vomiting is very unlikely.

Re obesity there have been reports discrediting links and considering the impact of genes and lifestyle you can see why ie if you eat pies a few months of bm aint going to stop the bulge.There has also been research linking obesity to crap diet whilst bfing. Pick the research you want to twist,I ignore both.

Re eczema there was research linking it to bfing so again pick your research(I choose to ignore both).

Re diabetes it's linked to obesity and diet so see above.

Re maternal cancer for the few that get it there are benefits from bfing but thankfully it's rare and if you don't have unlucky genes and lead a healthy lifestyle even rarer.

Can we stat twist and scare monger other parenting choices now,this is boring?

Your body. Your baby , your choice. I really wanted to breastfeed but it didn't work. Crap delivery, crap support etc etc. Dd is fine though. Went on to breast feed subsequent children. Obviously there are benefits of breastfeeding in terms of immunity etc but formula isn't poison.
I do have pangs of guilt at times re dd but she is healthy.

I ff my two DCs. Never wanted to bf although kudos to this who do. My DCs are very healthy with maybe 1-2 days off school in 4 years. Bigger things to worry about in my opinion. X

As nature intended is over rated too.

IVF,C/S delivered,life saving formula fed babies in this house- science rocks!

What do you mean, Retroformica, less chance of getting vomiting? How is that affected by bfing? Surely it's affected by whether you catch vomiting bugs etc or not?

Not arguing, interested.

Oh. [dimwit emoticon]

Vomiting in ff babies in this country is from poor hygiene or bottle preparation however the numbers that are admitted are relatively small when you consider that the maj are ff and the amount of bottles they consume hardly so it's hardly a cause for deep concern.Just read the instructions on the tin.

2 of mine were admitted for dehydration and weight loss due to poor bfing so it's swings and roundabouts.I obviously wouldn't stat twist the amount of babies admitted like mine and say bfing is dangerous- but I could.

Rupe love, that's how research works.

I take it you don't advocate happily ignoring all other NHS evidence based advice on optimising your children's health and development on the basis that a) it doesn't suit your lifestyle and b) some new research will inevitably come along and disprove it one day?

Out of interest - given that you're so dismissive of research, how do you feel about novel ingredients being added to formula on the basis of a few small scale studies? Ingredients made from things like marine algae and fish eyes that have never before in the whole of human evolution formed part of the diet of newborn babies? You absolutely confident that these things are absolutely and entirely safe, despite the almost complete lack of long term properly controlled studies?

As for the higher rates stomach upsets requiring hospitalisation in ff babies - yes you are right, some of this is down to poorly prepared feeds. Formula, unlike breast milk, is a very good medium for breeding bacteria in. Of course new parents are often tired and disorganised, which makes them more vulnerable to messing up the feed. And many simply ignore advice to throw away unused made up formula because it's expensive, and ignore advice to make up bottles with water of 70 degrees because it's too much of a faff. It's not just hygiene though is it? It's about gut health, which is poorer in ff babies who also vomit more and are much more prone to constipation.

As for hospital admissions due to a lack of breastfeeding being insignificant compared to other things (smoking? accidents?) - I don't have the figures to compare.

However UNICEF did an analysis last year: (quote from the report"

"The report findings show that for just five illnesses, moderate increases in breastfeeding would translate into cost savings for the NHS of £40 million and tens of thousands of fewer hospital admissions and GP consultations."

I appreciate that this may seem insignificant to you. It doesn't to me. Knowing how much stress I felt when my children were ill as babies I find it hard not to see the many thousands of extra gp visits and hospital admissions in terms of a lot of avoidable suffering for real parents and real babies.

Breast feeding is the best thing for babies and is not promoted in the UK because formula makes more money.
In the same way cigarettes provide major revenue.

I could not bf due to taking epilepsy medication. The doctors and midwives were very supportive of me, yet certain "friends" criticised me for letting my son down. I just thought Cow and Gate would be better than doping up a newborn on diluted epilepsy tablets (and the medical staff agreed).

I was just waiting for minifingers to show up with her reams of stats. Glad I'm not disappointed.

Yes I know full well how research works,we have a medical scientist in our family thanks.And yes I do take NHS baby advice with a point of salt as it has a habit of changing- a lot.I also tend to keep things in perspective.

Sorry I ff 3 at once and never once had d&v or constipation with any of them.It isn't hard to do and no I was never tempted to skimp corners,using formula doesn't make you a feckless parent by default.

Re saving money for the NHS-not feeding kids junk,providing more exercise and a healthy diet is something worth bleating about, a relatively small(when you consider the maj numbers are ff and the amount of bottles prepped) number of hospital admissions which could easily be avoided isn't.

Breast feedingis the best thing for babiesDancing
The problem is there is so little real support for mothers who want to BF in the UK.
Its hard to get started and wherever you go getting back to normal is the norm
It was really hard to gt DD to feed but I had the most wonderful support - one to one because I was the only BF mother on the ward.

Retro You like to pick and choose whats beneficial when the statistics are really clear on BF being very beneficial to both babies and mothers.
Am quite shocked that you are so vocal on SAHP and yet didn't BF .

Honestly, where I live there is LOADS of support for women wanting to bf. It's presented as the only option. So 'lack of support' wasn't my problem.

My problem is people telling me what's best for my child, and that by choosing one thing over another I'm harming my child. It's no one's fucking business, OK? Formula isn't poison. It may not be as good as breast milk, but it's better than letting your child starve.

And the bf babies I know? Allergies galore, skin complaints etc. My DD? Strong as an ox. So fuck your research.

Its impossible to have a discussion on bf/ff. What we feed our children is such an emotive subject and nobody wants to feel they have made a decision that is substandard (ff) or have bust a gut bf when there isnt any substantial gain.

Pah. Feed your child what you want but make an informed decision.

Its not just about one child Dancing generally BF babies are more intelligent,have lower allergies,infections, even leukaemia .
Their mothers hve lower rates of breast and ovarian cancer.
Your argument is like saying my granny smoked 80 a day and is really healthy at 90.
Epidemiology -not one single child.