To Not Know What To Do About Child Left In Car

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I came out of DCs school this morning and noticed a child was in a parked car on his own. He was about 2 yrs old and crying. I asked a couple of mums if they knew whose car it was with no success. I didn't have a phone with me but was thinking that if after 15 minutes the mum had not returned that I'd have to ask to borrow someone's phone to ring 999 or 101.

As I waited I noted the registration number and the child stopped crying. I think perhaps he may have been asleep when left and the crying I saw was the post-sleep cry that youngsters do. The mum arrived after about 10 minutes (so with the walk in to school was probably away c. 17 minutes assuming no chatting). I told her that her actions were unacceptable and she was very apologetic saying it was the first time and I think she was about to start saying that he is difficult on the way into school but I interrupted and said we have all had to manage difficult fractious toddlers on the school run but that leaving a child alone in a car is unacceptable and dangerous.

So, my questions are, what should I have done in that moment when I saw the child in the car, and do I do anything about it now? I appreciate that we all have difficult days, and that we all make poor choices on occasion (I am the first to admit I have made poor parenting choices).

Any thought are welcome.

It is illegal to leave your two year old on their own in a car.
I think she probably won't do it again.
I am really shocked that lots of people have said its ok. It's not.

Mumsnet never fails to surprise me. You are judged on here for the smallest of things but leaving a 2 year old on their own, without supervision, is acceptable?!!!

Can you show us a link to the bit of legislation saying it is illegal, whereto? Not being arsey, just would like to read it.

wheretoyougonow - where did you get the information from that it is illegal to leave a two year old alone in a car?

It was right to be concerned and it was even right to say something, but the bit where she tried to explain what had happened and you cut her off was rude IMO. She's going to feel bad about that, which I guess was your intention but she was obv feeling bad before you interrupted her if she was apologetic. Why push it so far?

OP you were right to be concerned but perhaps could have been a bit more gracious.

I feel stressed leaving DS in the car when I go to pay for petrol, the car could be stolen, he can undo his straps and I expect could work out how to open the doors or take the handbrake off, not to mention abductions.

Just found an article in the DM where they talk about leaving children in a car and the lawyers response is this:

LAWYER'S VERDICT:
Professor Hamilton says: Legally, it is an offence under Section One of the Children and Young Persons Act 1933 to neglect or abandon a child under the age of 16 for whom a parent or carer has responsibility, and this covers all the scenarios here.
But the law gives no clarification as to what amounts to neglect or abandonment. Prosecution would depend largely on the circumstances, but the punishment for a conviction could be a fine or up to ten years' imprisonment.
In every case the parent needs to take into account the age and maturity of the child. In a car, for instance, a child of seven might be able to release the handbreak or get out of the car.
If the doors on the car were locked then the children might be safer; but they could become distressed if they woke up and found they were trapped in an enclosed space.
Technically, children under 16 shouldn't be left alone in these circumstances. A few minutes left in a locked car might be acceptable - for instance at a corner shop or petrol station. Twenty minutes with the doors undone is too long. I would not advise parents to leave a child under 16 alone in these circumstances.

I think saying you couldn't leave a 15 yo alone in a car is going a little bit too far!
Link to article.

That means it would be incident lead then? Ie if nothing happened to the child in the car it wouldn't be deemed illegal. If something happened, the parent may be thought liable?

t is illegal to leave your two year old on their own in a car

People say that, but has anyone got a link to the actual law. I know of one story (daily mail) where someone ended up in court over it (not sure if anything came of it). but an actual law saying "you can never leave a child in a car"? I can't find that anywhere.

Last I looked there wasn't a law about leaving a child home alone either. Just a general one about endangerment that depends on the circumstances.

Anyway think about it. A law against a child being in the car when you are not would mean you couldn't walk round the car with the buggy to get them out. You'd have to pick up ALL kids at once so you'd all be leaving the car simultaneously

Abra, it would count as wilful neglect. The gov.uk page has info on it. On the home alone page it states that children under 2 should never be left alone ( this would also include the car).
There was a very sad but interesting legal case about a poor mum who left her child in the car and due to an electrical fault, it caught fire. Threw up lots of legislation. Can't remember the name off the top of my head sorry.

I took too long to post that :) I see I wasn't the only one to doubt that.

Some of the responses to the OP are unbelievable! It is not acceptable to leave a young child on their own - not in a house, in a park, in the street or locked in a car or a hotel room. THere is nothing to debate, it is wrong.

What could have happened?
Someone could have taken the child, taken the car, crashed into the car (by accident).
The mum could have had an accident in the school (heart attack) and therefore not returned to the car.
Or as said by someone else the child could have woken up and got out of the car.

OP I think you did the right thing by watching the child and speaking to the mum. I'm glad there are people like you around and I would be pleased if you had a word with me when I did something stupid & thoughtless.

Equally no-one is perfect we all make mistakes, I have made plenty. So of course it is worth pointing it out carefully. The mum may have not thought about what she was doing - we all have moments like that.

But it's not saying its actually illegal.

You wouldn't be necessarily prosecuted, unless somerthing untoward happened.

I left my DD in the car outside a shop yesterday.
But I could see her in the car the whole time and I wasn't more than 3 or 4 minutes.

Leaving a small child in a car, out of sight for over 15 minutes is totally unacceptable. As other people have said if a CM did that to a child there would have been uproar.

I would have done what the OP did, especially as a car was stolen with a child in the back, less than half a mile from where I live.

It is not acceptable to leave a young child on their own - not in a house, in a park, in the street or locked in a car or a hotel room. THere is nothing to debate, it is wrong.

You have 4 kids. 1 runs out of the room, falls over and screams. You can't go to it because you can't carry the other 4 and someone on mumsnet said you can't leave any of them alone. :)

Back on planet earth people leave kids alone all the time. Otherwise your 15yo would be sleeping in your bed and in your bath with you.

What are those speaker thingies you put in a babies room for? Are they not so you can leave the baby alone?

What could have happened?

Someone could have robbed the shop you were in and shot you, but at least the baby would be safely in the car - phew.

People just like to be obtuse on AIBU... Had the op been 'AIBU to leave my child in the car alone for in excess of ten minutes' she would have been flamed

I'm shocked at some of the responses on this thread. How is it ever acceptable to leave a toddler in a car on their own?

Totally agree. Apart from endangerment, what about the emotional distress that the child suffers when left totally alone??

FFS.

YANBU, call Police or social services although not sure I would ever confront a parent over this.

Not responsible to leave a toddler in a car. Ok unlikely to die of heat stroke today but I would still be tempted to call the police or social services.

My DS age 3 goes to nursery every morning & every morning I have to take my other DS (7 months) out his car seat, get the buggy out the boot & we all go together into the nursery. There is one mum I know who every morning leaves her younger DS in the car while she drops eldest DS in to the nursery as by her own admission 'it's too much of a handful to take them both'.

I would never interfere or question her judgement but I often wonder what she thinks when she sees most other parents struggling in with buggies & lifting younger siblings in & out cars. God forbid one day he ever managed to get out car seat & open the door

The law on leaving your child home alone

The law doesn’t say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it’s an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.
Use your judgement on how mature your child is before you decide to leave them alone.

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) says:

children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time
children under 16 shouldn’t be left alone overnight
babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone

The law says that parents can be prosecuted if they leave a child unsupervised ‘in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health’.

This was taken from gov.uk but it seems that it only becomes an offence if they are at risk, whatever that means.

Personally I'm disgusted to hear people admit they put kids in cars in the first place. Do you know what can happen if the car is in a crash? What kind of parent would do such a thing!.

She left her two year old in the car alone! How can that be ok. My sons 22 months and knows how to get out of his car seat, clearly watches me drive as if I let him in the front seat he try's putting the handbrake down and pisses around with the gears!

I don't even leave him to pay for petrol! I have a 3 month old and 22 month old and manage to get them
Both out ok nap time or not

Well done op! What if the car had been hit, stolen, smashed window, handbrake failure/child let it off! That could have happened after she'd been gone for 1 minute so that's 16 minutes of drama unfolding that the mother would have been blissfully unaware!

If a policeman was wandering past the child unattended in the car he wouldn't arrest the mother for neglect. Would he? He might advise her against leaving her child, but he wouldn't arrest her.

Surely then, that doesn't make it illegal.

"What are those speaker thingies you put in a babies room for? Are they not so you can leave the baby alone?"
No.
Not alone, in a different room within ear shot and able to get to the child within seconds.

There are plenty of reasons given already within this thread why leaving a child in a car out of sight for many minutes is dangerous.