to think that this article is just another way to sneer at sahms? Motherism?

[usuallyright]

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/18/sorry-but-being-a-mother-is-not-the-most-important-job-in-the-world

Whilst I agree with some of it, I don't like the sneery tone. There are many similar articles around at the moment about Mothers who choose to stay at home.
Imagine if someone wrote a similar article about working Mothers.
It's just another excuse to pour scorn on Mothers and their choices, which are often complex decisions, not a knee jerk decision to be a martyr..

I'm sure that's what she actually meant too morethan, I was just being a bit facetious (sorry wombles).

I genuinely think that we're all full time parents, just not always full time supervisors.

Tantrum and impty have best summed up my thoughts on it all. I hate it when it turns into a fight, we're all doing our best and trying our hardest to do a good job.

What impty said . Beautiful definition of what a parent is

Retro do dads have any part to plah in that?

Nicely named Retro. Dads have no part to play in this process then?

Out of curiousity (and because I've never heard of this writer before) I searched for her on twitter and she's just accused someone who disagreed with her article of Stockholm syndrome, whatever that means. (I know what Stockholm syndrome is, just not sure why she's using that comparison)

I'm ok then. Dh is a ships diver, I shall fuck up the dcs more immediately.

Taking the 'captors' (men) side instead of your 'own' (women) I think probably OP. What is sometimes (nastily imo) called being 'a handmaiden' here. In other words, the men have done a number on you and you believe what they tell you...

I have done both. Work part time now and am very happy with that. I could work full time but dont choose to at the moment. Who knows i might feel different in the future.

I have to say though that i found being at home, especially just having one child really easy, and i really cherish that time and look back on it very fondly.

I didn't have any parents
Or family close by to help out or babsysit and dh worked away for a time when dd but very young, but it was still much easier being a sahm, than going out to work every day.

Describing looking after your children as a job is a bit cringy, and the women i know who do this seem to live their lives throigh their children. Not very healthy imo..

There's a load of SAHM bashing around lately. I'm embarrass to say it when people as what I do.

I actually agree with the article. I don't think it's an attack of SAHM.

But it's not the hardest job in the world. I think it's aimed at those who go on and on about how being a mum is the hardest job in the world. Seriously it is not. It's not a job. A lot of women have to sacrifice their career and sense of self to do the best for the family. Or that they just really love staying at home (i.e. lifestyle choice). I get that. That's valid things to say.

I'm talking about a couple of fb friends I have. They do get quite cringyworhty on fb.

Thanks, Wilson. I think you're probably right.
She's a comedian isn't she?
I still don't get it. Unsure as to whether she's being humorous, ironic, satirical, or just aggressive and goady?

To be honest I hate that children have becomes jobs...I also hate the whole Facebook stuff of people say I don't work but I am a nurse a cleaner a referee etc...
No you don't work your a mum and working mothers also have to do all the above.
I have nothing against stahm but I don't see my children as a job imo

I don't see a whole load of SAHM bashing at all. All I see is people agreeing that parenting isn't a job, that it isn't drudgery for most of us ( and actually I feel very sorry for children of parents who view them a chore)

Sure, there are some repetitive, challenging and relentless aspects to parenting at times, but IMO the joys vastly outweigh that. It's got bugger all to do with being a SAHM or WOHM though... Unless of course people have their own personal axe to grind, and want to see it that way

SAHM bashing is widespread at the moment,not necessarily on this thread but it is out there.

Some of it has been quite unpleasant

Sorry, my mistake piano - it was another poster. But I did message again on page 1 to apologise for not being clearer in my original post

Ah thanks writer I missed that bit but yes I understand what you mean :)

To be fair I haven't heard any derogatory comments about SAHM'S among real life people I know.

Obviously people on the Internet are real people but it's an attitude I've only read about but so far not encountered in my day-to-day life IYSWIM :)

I have the utmost respect for anyone who is trying to do the best for their kids, whether they work outside the home or not.

I could never be a SAHM myself, but I certainly don't think any less of others who are happy to be SAHMs. That would, quite simply, make me an arsehole.

I do see the point the article is making.

I see the point of the article but it is terribly articulated.
There are two forms of sexism at play:
That women should want to devote their entire lives to mothering and see it as natural this idealises motherhood and makes is appear like only woman should be doing the childcare because we are naturally better at it.
Whilst at the same time scorning women who do become sahm because we don't see parenting as valuable and worthwhile and think women should be striving to get away from it because as it is 'women's work' it is inherently worthless.
It's a damned if you do damned if you don't scenario. It benefits the patriarchy because the outcome is that women now both work and child rear and feel guilty if they don't take on both!

I do think the article has a sneery smug sort of attitude OP.

My view is being a good parent IS one of the most important jobs in the world and that the highest value should be placed on childrearing by our society. That should mean monetary support for parents who wish to stay home, first rate funding for child care centres and early education programs and a political focus on families IMO.

Whether you are a SAHP or a working parent - what is more important than contributing resilient, conscientious, emotionally healthy members to our community?

I think I'm too sleep deprived to get the point of the article.

As I'm pg with number 7 I was looking forward to ascending another notch on the Holy Ladder of The Glorified Full Time Mother Earth.

damn. no office Christmas party - no glory.

back to drudgery.

Whether you are a SAHP or a working parent - what is more important than contributing resilient, conscientious, emotionally healthy members to our community?

I agree with this entirely.

Being a SAHP is not the hardest job in the world but then most paid jobs do not fall into this category!

I am an ex SAHM and found it a fairly dull piece of piss. I am in work for necessity- and I like the excitement. It doesn't matter what you do, being a SAHM wasn't right ultimately for our family, but it could be for others, and I think that as long as our children grow up knowing they are safe, loved and that they are cared for, and their needs are met then parenting has succeeded. I don't stop being a parent because I work, but I can't be available for them the whole time physically, they know that I am still loving and caring for them. I think it depends on the family. Anyway, this surely only affects people for about three and a bit years (end of mat leave to start of school)? In 18yrs, it matters very little?

Very clunky to read.

From her website - *She lives in an atheist kibbutz with her partner, gay husband, various housemates and sons. Living in an all male household makes her want a tee-shirt that says “Where Have You Looked?"
If this is how she has lived during her DSs childhoods then, frankly, she won't have a clue what being a lone SAHM is like, how fulfilling, demanding, or whatever, it is.

She makes some goodish points in the article but they aren't very clear. And really it's not really relevant in these days of unemployment and rising prices. People just do what they have to to get by.

I hate the terms full time mum and stay at home mum.

When I fill out official forms I write my previous job title. When people ask me what I do I give them various responses from white lies to the whole truth depending on whose asking.

I wish people wouldn't ask! I never do and never have, I'm not interested in what people have for a job and if you know them long enough it comes up naturally I find it as strange as when people ask how old you are!