to think that this article is just another way to sneer at sahms? Motherism?

[usuallyright]

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/18/sorry-but-being-a-mother-is-not-the-most-important-job-in-the-world

Whilst I agree with some of it, I don't like the sneery tone. There are many similar articles around at the moment about Mothers who choose to stay at home.
Imagine if someone wrote a similar article about working Mothers.
It's just another excuse to pour scorn on Mothers and their choices, which are often complex decisions, not a knee jerk decision to be a martyr..

Yawn, same old, same old, this conversation comes up so often ........!

I don't think my kids are no longer my kids while they are at school. I am always the parent.

pearlsaplenty totally agree, I never ask what people do? it's so rude and boring I think. who bloody cares, most people would give up their jobs in a heartbeat if they won the lottery. you arnt defined by your job.. if you aee then get a life.

I'm an avid Guardian reader and lurker on here. I had to post re this 'article'. Really? Are the Guardian employing professional trolls now?
There is so much crap going on in the world. We have food banks here in England ffs. 80,000 families homeless according to Shelter and some dick is quibbling about motherhood being the most important job? STFU.
Yes, we all need a balance, yes, the men are just as important in a child's life. Yes, it does feel like a job when you've been up half the night for two years, now studying and trying to cope with it all. No, these crappy, bullshit articles don't help anyone. They just serve to start pointless fights.

I'd give up my job if I won the lottery but only because the money would enable me to do so much...travel, experience the world etc. I wouldn't just give up work for the sake of it I.e to just spend my days sitting at home.

I suppose I wonder how SAHPs don't get bored?? I think the monotony/repetition would drive me crazy!! And what do they do during the day when the child starts school but they still choose not to work? I'm currently off work (on the sick) and I am climbing the walks!!! The thought of having to live like it for x amount of years (if I was a long term 'full time mom) would fill me with dread

Yes writer but dont forget plenty of people have boring and monotonous paid jobs. And also being a sahp isn't always something people 'choose'.

not a knee jerk decision to be a martyr..

OP, the martyrs are us working mums who do everything SAHMs do, AND earn our living.

I chose to be a SAHM for very nearly 15 years now. I don't really get bored but I do keep busy with seeing friends, crafting and reading should I feel the urge. Used to go to the gym (restarting in January!!!), at this stage I could go to work if I felt like I was climbing the walls

The plan at the moment is to look round for a job that fits with the family once ds2 starts senior school next September, in this current climate that's easier said than done!

Writerwannabe83, do you actually have DC that are at home during the day? Sitting at home on sick leave without children is not quite the same as caring for children full time at home. I am SAHP with a 6 year old and a 2.5 year old, I am not bored for one minute of the day and in some ways the work increases with 6 year old DS who has homework and reading that is ongoing. He has various clubs I have to take him to, pick him up from and we have children over to play that you have to cater for. It is not incredibly hard but it is demanding of your time. I had a very interesting job prior to DC but it definitely had dull elements- like everyone's experience of work I have ever known.

15 years? Wow! I've only been out of my job for 12 weeks and already I've had enough of being at home

goldenbear - in terms of being bored I meant SAHP whose children are all in school not ones where the children are in the home.

Since you ask, writer, in the 5 hours per day that my children are at school, I do all the housework, voluntary work (mentally stimulating, involves aspects of my old job), read, take my friend with a life limiting illness to a hospital appointment every week, go to the gym, catch up with friends. I genuinely feel my life is less repetitive/monotonous than a lot of people's paid jobs.

But I realise you don't really give a flying fuck what some SAHPs do - you've already decided that we're really rather dull and monotonous, leading dull, monotonous lives, 'spending our days sitting at home'. Probably watching Jeremy Kyle.

I know writer you get less for murder

I'm sure many sahps get bored as do many people in the workplace.

If you don't have an established career to go back to, then it can be hard for sahp to find a job that pays enough to go into.

As posters have pointed out previously, this perception of people choosing to "sit at home" is not entirely straightforward.

LaGuardia, how is it physically possible that you are able to to everything a SAHP does if you're at work earning a living?

I had an established career to go back to in Whitehall but I'm living the 'retro' dream, enabling my DP to become a world famous Architect!

Writer but do you have children?

The article is completely correct. SAHM is not a job. It is drudgery and it is certainly not hard work or work in any sense of the word. What you do, other people have to do as well ON TOP of working all day. When I see children who really are well rounded and ready to be good members of society, I might respect you more. Until then I will continue to question why you think you are so important because you had sex, got yourself knocked up and gave birth. As the article says - get over yourself.

A skint sahp with few job/childcare choices is in a very different situation to a sahp with plenty of money to do interesting things everyday and career to return to eventually.

Just as a wohp who is in a low paid, monotonous job is very different to a wohp who is paid well, has status, an interesting job and who also can choose flexible work arrangements.

Oh, and it certainly looks to me as if some of you sit around at home!

What a ridiculous article.

The point she misses is that the role of the primary carer is vitally important to the development of a baby/toddler. Forming a secure attachment to this person is really key to them being able to form healthy relationships later in life. It doesn't have to be the child's mother but it probably is in the vast vast majority of cases.

Good parenting is really important for our society surely? This has got nothing to do with the sahm/wohm debate imho.

(Oh and writer I've been a sahm for 9 years now - I've recently taken on some paid work. In the 30 hours a week my dcs are at school I now spend 7-10 hours working, another 6-10 hours or so in a voluntary role, a few hours exercising, a few more doing household chores, shopping for stuff the family needs etc)

"OP, the martyrs are us working mums who do everything SAHMs do, AND earn our living."

"what you do, other people have to do as well ON TOP of working all day."

But LaGuardia, and josephine too, as you've posted a similar view - your statements are a contradiction in terms, isn't it? As a SAHM, I take care of my children during the day; when I was a 'working mum', I went out to work, wasn't with my children during the day and paid someone else to take care of them.

On that basis alone a working mum physically cannot do what a SAHM does in terms of actual daily childcare. Unless you work as a childminder, it is pretty much impossible to do paid employment and take care of your DC at the same time.

General domestic family tasks are another matter of course but plenty of parents who work outside the home will get a cleaner/pay someone to do the ironing and so on. Obviously many more will not be able to afford this and for those families then yes, the working parent role will be a lot more tiring and stressful.

It is simply not possible to say that working outside the home is easier or harder than being a stay-at-home parent and vice versa. It depends on the job that you do, the ages (and temperaments and needs) of your children and a load of other variables.

Not yet Golden but currently pregnant with our first and last

I have been in turmoil for a few weeks as to what to do regarding returning to work after the birth. I am literally swinging from one side to the next, some days I think I would love to be able to stay at home with the child but other days I can't comprehend it. I actually thought it would be an easy decision to make so I'm surprised as to how completely on the fence I am - I'm driving myself mad with my indecisiveness. I've got to let my Boss know of my intentions in about 4 weeks time and I don't really know what I'm going to say. I only work 30 hours a week and the current plan is that I will reduce that to 22.5 hours so the child only needs childcare for 3 days a week. But like I said, I keep changing my feelings on the matter every few days. I have been assured that I can always change my mind about my intentions when the time actually comes, which does help, but I'm the kind of person who needs to have a plan I'm hoping that when the baby actually arrives everything will become much, much clearer

contradiction in terms aren't they not isn't it!

writer when I was pg with dc1 my boss advised me not to make any firm decisions until I had had the baby. Very wise advice imho.

And making no firm decisions makes life so much harder for the people who are picking up the pieces at work while you are away.

Unfortunately I have a massive form that needs to be completed and handed into HR by the time I'm 25 weeks pregnant I think it is odd that they expect women to be able to make such a big decision before the baby is even born....