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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teacher has lost DS property

265 replies

conkercon · 15/11/2013 09:44

I need to know if I am right to be furious with a teacher at my ds school?

DS is 16 and for last two weeks has been wearing a small diamond stud to school that belonged to dh back in the day. We (I) found it recently and gave it to DS. I said to DS that he should not wear it because I thought that school policy was gold or silver, but he said that the Head of Year had seen him every day and had not said anything so he assumed that it was okay. Also in two weeks no other teacher (including the Head who he had spoken to for a few minutes) had mentioned it and they are normally pretty hot on uniform issues.

Yesterday DS subject teacher mentioned it and DS said that he thought it was okay because HOY had not said anything. Teacher emailed HOY saying DS had said HOY had said it was okay. HOY went straight to the class and asked him to take it out. No problem with that, but rather than let him keep it in his pocket, bag or whatever she took it and said he would not get it back until Christmas.

I spoke to her yesterday afternoon, apologised for him wearing it and said I would collect it today. She did not sound very happy, telling me it was locked away. I just told her that I would be in first thing this morning to collect it if she could leave it at reception.

She called me at 8.40pm last night to tell me that it has been lost!!!!! Apparently she put it in a sealed envelope and although the envelope is was still sealed the earing was not in it?? That is all I know because her attitude infuriated me even more, she wasn't apologising. I did point out that if she had just let DS keep it then if it had got lost it would have been his responsibility, but as she had chosen to take it then she should have looked after it properly. I asked her to call me back in the morning. I did not want to continue speaking to her as I was so cross I was scared I would say something that I would regret so it was better I calm down.

There are some fantastic teachers at this school who really care about the kids and I have the utmost respect for them. There are some good teachers who teach well, but are rather full of their own self importance and she is one of these. I have little respect for her unfortunately as her behaviour a couple of years ago on a school trip that my other DS went on was less than professional. As it did not affect the safety of the children I have never mentioned it and did not complain, but it made me see her in a totally different light. But I digress.

Am I being unreasonable to think that if you confiscate property then you should at least look after it?

OP posts:
Dontletthemgetyoudown · 15/11/2013 12:37

I have every respect for teachers and appreciate the fantastic job that 99% of them do, however I am getting fed up with how nothing can be said against a teacher on mumsnet. It doesn't matter what is said, someone will come along and tell you how grateful you should be to the teacher for giving up their time and hard work for helping your dc!

tracypenisbeaker · 15/11/2013 12:38

Giles then maybe she should just focus on exams then instead of farting about, disrupting classes to pull some poor boys earring out. Hell, I had two in my head and I got fantastic grades.

harticus · 15/11/2013 12:38

She confiscated it and as such should have looked after it properly.
But whether you make a song and dance over it is another matter.
He could have lost it on the bus on the way home.
I'd let it lie and move on .... much less stressful. Grin

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/11/2013 12:42

Yeah, and today an earring and tomorrow what?

It doesn't take long fir the " well it was ok when x did this so why can't i do-"

They will be in jobs soon with possibly strict dress codes or procedures that need to be followed. If a kid can't abide by a reasonable earring rule and gets away with it all the time then they will carry that attitude over.

timidgirl · 15/11/2013 12:45

According to this after an item is confiscated from a student, it becomes the staff's responsibility.

You are legally responsible for any property that you have confiscated. You could potentially be held legally responsible if items were lost through negligence. Saying that a pupil should not have had the lost item with them in school in the first place is no defence.

So for those saying that he shouldn't have had it in the first place therefore it's his responsibility are wrong.

It also says that ideally, items should not be confiscated for more than seven days and not for more than half a term. So not allowing it back until Christmas is a little OTT.

CoolaSchmoola · 15/11/2013 12:49

It's not more than half a term though... So whilst it's possibly excessive its not outwith the guidelines.

timidgirl · 15/11/2013 12:51

I know that, but I still think it's a little too much.

timidgirl · 15/11/2013 12:52

Just want to add that I've never heard of anything being confiscated for longer than a day. Property was always given back at the end of the day.

tracypenisbeaker · 15/11/2013 12:54

Giles well if you want to talk about the outside world, surely teaching people that they must respect other people's property is an important lesson? You can't go through life being cack-handed with other people's things and not expect consequences, regardless of who you are. Losing the earring may have been an accident, but then surely she should be a good role model and take onice for her actions?

MadAsFish · 15/11/2013 12:55

So, on the whole, it was a risk he took and he lost.

I don't agreee at all. If he had lost it it would have been a risk he took and lost. Once the teacher took possession of it, it became her responsibility, as is now the replacement of it.

eofa1 · 15/11/2013 12:56

Nobody has said teachers can't do wrong in this thread, dontletthem. Some teachers are rubbish. But in this particular case, some people have rightly pointed out that the DC in question is at fault in this situation and that his parent should not waste any more time for people trying to run an ordered school.

timidgirl · 15/11/2013 12:56

Exactly, Fish. Once it's confiscated, legally it becomes the school's responsibility.

tracypenisbeaker · 15/11/2013 12:58

People in authority cannot just pick and choose rules when it is convenient to them/ to save their own ass, what sort of message is this? They should be setting an example- in this case, cause and effect. You lose something, you take responsibility for it and offer to replace it.

timidgirl · 15/11/2013 13:00

But in this particular case, some people have rightly pointed out that the DC in question is at fault in this situation

Except that's not right.

If the OP's DS was the one who lost it, then yes that would be his fault. However as it was confiscated, legally it becomes the school's responsibility and if it is lost whilst in their care, it is them who legally responsible. The fact that he shouldn't have had it in the first place cannot be used as a defence.

You might want to read this

Nessalina · 15/11/2013 13:01

I agree with poster who said about insurance, surely there's something in the schools policy to address this?
I'd just play nice and say to the teacher, "well, we're very sad that it's been lost, it had sentimental value, but I appreciate that he shouldn't have been wearing it. How do we deal with the cost of the item now? I assume the school has a policy in place to cover lost valuables?" And leave the ball in her court.

CaptainTripps · 15/11/2013 13:02

Step away, Mummie Conker. He is 16 fgs. More than old enough to take responsibility for himself.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 15/11/2013 13:02

YANBU

I would be pissed off with the teacher too. I hope you get a replacement and an apology

tracypenisbeaker · 15/11/2013 13:02

eofa1 'rightly pointed out that the DC in question is at fault in this situation and that his parent should not waste any more time for people trying to run an ordered school...'

In the eyes of who? Not the law, anyway, and that's a fact. The teacher was legally responsible for the property the moment she decided to confiscate it. The fact that he perhaps should not have had it does not cancel that out.

Nessalina · 15/11/2013 13:03

Ooh that's a great link tiny X-post!

Nessalina · 15/11/2013 13:03

Sorry, timid!!

Shonajoy · 15/11/2013 13:03

I agree with nessalina. That's a good way of dealing with it and putting the ball back in her court.

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/11/2013 13:04

I never said I wouldn't expect an apology. But tbh I'd be more pissed off at my child who was old enough to know better. And I'd hope it would teach them that they shouldnt disregard the rules just because they want to.

tracypenisbeaker · 15/11/2013 13:05

(cough cough) I did also post the link, just saying grin

tracypenisbeaker · 15/11/2013 13:06

Grin FAIL

Nessalina · 15/11/2013 13:08

Ha, sorry Tracy, didn't read down that far! Credit where credit's due! Wink

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