Teacher has lost DS property

[conkercon]

I need to know if I am right to be furious with a teacher at my ds school?

DS is 16 and for last two weeks has been wearing a small diamond stud to school that belonged to dh back in the day. We (I) found it recently and gave it to DS. I said to DS that he should not wear it because I thought that school policy was gold or silver, but he said that the Head of Year had seen him every day and had not said anything so he assumed that it was okay. Also in two weeks no other teacher (including the Head who he had spoken to for a few minutes) had mentioned it and they are normally pretty hot on uniform issues.

Yesterday DS subject teacher mentioned it and DS said that he thought it was okay because HOY had not said anything. Teacher emailed HOY saying DS had said HOY had said it was okay. HOY went straight to the class and asked him to take it out. No problem with that, but rather than let him keep it in his pocket, bag or whatever she took it and said he would not get it back until Christmas.

I spoke to her yesterday afternoon, apologised for him wearing it and said I would collect it today. She did not sound very happy, telling me it was locked away. I just told her that I would be in first thing this morning to collect it if she could leave it at reception.

She called me at 8.40pm last night to tell me that it has been lost!!!!! Apparently she put it in a sealed envelope and although the envelope is was still sealed the earing was not in it?? That is all I know because her attitude infuriated me even more, she wasn't apologising. I did point out that if she had just let DS keep it then if it had got lost it would have been his responsibility, but as she had chosen to take it then she should have looked after it properly. I asked her to call me back in the morning. I did not want to continue speaking to her as I was so cross I was scared I would say something that I would regret so it was better I calm down.

There are some fantastic teachers at this school who really care about the kids and I have the utmost respect for them. There are some good teachers who teach well, but are rather full of their own self importance and she is one of these. I have little respect for her unfortunately as her behaviour a couple of years ago on a school trip that my other DS went on was less than professional. As it did not affect the safety of the children I have never mentioned it and did not complain, but it made me see her in a totally different light. But I digress.

Am I being unreasonable to think that if you confiscate property then you should at least look after it?

[givemeaclue]

Claim on house insurance

[Wibblypiglikesbananas]

Two separate issues. Yes, he shouldn't have broken the uniform rules but the teacher should have followed the correct policy when she confiscated the earring.

FWIW, personally I think you'd have got a very different response on here if you'd said she had lost DS's iPhone, for example, Conker. In fact, I believe the school would have treated it differently if that had been the case. I almost think the issue has been trivialised as it's 'just an earring' so to speak.

I'd ask for copies of their policies on confiscated goods, question why they weren't followed, question why the teacher was so bullish in her 'until Christmas' threat and as PPs have said, ask them to replace via their insurance as they have assumed responsibility and so are legally obliged to do so.

I can absolute understand your annoyance, lots of double standards at play here. Fine, enforce the rules - but then follow them yourself with regard to how confiscated property is dealt with. And don't lie if you're the teacher who messed up - lost all moral high ground there...

[tracypenisbeaker]

Ness just joking lol, great minds think alike eh?

(Btw the 'FAIL' was because the turned out to be a grin in the previous post, was by no means aimed at you)

[StanleyLambchop]

YANBU. your son is 16, teenagers do this kind of stuff, it is commonplace at senior schools. However, the teacher is an adult. It is all very well those saying that he should learn from this and move on- what about the consequences for the adult teacher? How are pupils supposed to learn if the adults responsible for teaching them are setting such a bad example themselves? She cocked up, she should apologise. That is the adult thing to do. Not hide behind 'disclaimers' and try and blame a child for the problem.

[Floggingmolly]

You back the school up in most things, op, so why did you encourage your son to wear a banned earring into school, knowing there was an extremely high chance he'd be told to remove it?
If he'd stuffed it into his own pocket for "safe" keeping he'd almost certainly have lost it himself anyway. I've done it myself a few times, the only safe place for an earring when you're out and about is in your ear.
It was as good as gone from the minute he walked into school with it, basically.

[StanleyLambchop]

If he'd stuffed it into his own pocket for "safe" keeping he'd almost certainly have lost it himself anyway

That is a bit of an assumption to make. My DD keeps money, keys, earrings in her blazer pocket, she has yet to lose anything!

Anyway, just imagine if this was the other way round. 'Sorry Miss, I am sure I locked my homework away safely in my locker, but when I went to get it to hand it in the locker was still locked but the homework was gone!'. Do you think he would have got a sympathetic reaction? But somehow because it is a teacher that has lost something it is a different matter.

[eofa1]

I actually don't give a flying f* what the law says. It's quite possible that all those who say the school has legal responsibility for the lost item are right, and that if the OP wants to be a pain in the arse and pursue them over it she would win. I'm talking about what the RIGHT thing to do would be, and that is to tell your son not to deliberately break school rules, and leave the overworked staff alone.

[StanleyLambchop]

Yeah right, let's never bother the school staff again, about anything, because teachers are beyond reproach, aren't they??

[eofa1]

Or, alternatively, instead of actually responding to what somebody says, just make up what they said and argue with that. I didn't say nobody should ever bother a school. I didn't say teachers are always beyond reproach. I said in THIS SITUATION the OP should not bother the school about it because it is a trivial issue caused directly by her DC deliberately not following rules.

[eofa1]

Amen to that, Artex.

[dustarr73]

Look at it this way if the teacher gave him something of value and he lost it would be up too him to replace it.So why shouldnt it be up too her to replace things.
Hes 16 of course hes gonna rebel.

[HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood]

Legally - the teacher took it and is responsible for it. She either has to give it back or pay for it.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conversion_%28law%29

[eofa1]

Why can't you see that that would be a very different situation? The student hasn't given the teacher something to "look after", he's forced a teacher into confiscating property in an effort to make sure the school rules are not treated as a joke?

[Gileswithachainsaw]

dustar

The difference would be, that he wouldnt have a stack of markin meetings and 30+ other kids to be responsible for in order for it to have gone missing.

[eofa1]

Exactly.

[CleverWittyUsername]

If she called you that late at night I think the teacher is probably very upset and likely be in trouble with her line manager/head. Yes the school will be able to give you money towards replacement from their insurance and so it can easily be solved that way, but you don't know what problems the teacher will now face over an innocent mistake. (thinking about the various shitty and sneaky ways a lot of schools treat their 'unfavoured' staff such as refusing to give UPS, extra unpaid responsibilities etc)

She probably knew full well she should put it in the office/safe/reception/wherever, but was likely rushed off her feet trying to do her HOY job as well as an almost full teaching timetable and thought it would be safer with her until she had a moment to go to the safe and do all the necessary faff paperwork that goes along with confiscation.

I don't know why she didn't apologise, I would probably be grovelling. Maybe she was too pissed off to realise she hadn't said sorry.

[StanleyLambchop]

he's forced a teacher into confiscating property in an effort to make sure the school rules are not treated as a joke?

But the OP has since reported that the teacher did not follow the correct procedures for confiscating items. So she has treated school policy as a joke herself. All the OP really wanted was honesty and an apology. Not lies and refusal to take responsibility. 'Why can't you see' that sometimes teachers are in the wrong, just like everybody else, and therefore they should apologise, just like everybody else?

[Nessalina]

The official policy has already been posted. So it doesn't matter if you think the OP was being naive or irresponsible to let her son wear the earring, once the teacher confiscated it, she made it her responsibility to look after it. She obviously feels bad about it, or I can't imagine why she'd make a home phone call to the OP, she'd probably been panicking for hours about what she was going to say, and if she came across as bullish, I'm sure it was because she was embarrassed. My DH is a teacher and I know he'd be mortified of he'd done the same.
There's fault on both sides, but no doubt over what should be done next - the teacher will need to compensate the OP (or her son) for the value of the earring, and she can do this via the liability insurance she has with her union. That's that. Lessons will have been learnt on both sides.

[Nessalina]

Multiple XP

[dustarr73]

We are not disputing that just if the teacher confiscates something its in their own best interest to follow the rules.And place whatever they confiscated in to a secure facility.She hasnt done this and not only that lied about it.I bet the op is more annoyed about the lie than anything at this stage.
Anyway you cant expect kids to follow rules when the teachers dont either

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Again te difference is she didn't intentionally break policy. Unlike ops son who decided he didn't give a crap and was going to wear it regardless.

[eofa1]

Yes, there is all the difference in the world between not following a procedure to the letter because you are rushed off your feet and deliberately deciding that school rules don't apply to you.

[StanleyLambchop]

No one knows why the teacher did not follow procedure. Maybe she thought 'I know what I am supposed to do, but I can't be arsed'. You seem to be presuming an awful lot about the teacher.