Teacher has lost DS property

[conkercon]

I need to know if I am right to be furious with a teacher at my ds school?

DS is 16 and for last two weeks has been wearing a small diamond stud to school that belonged to dh back in the day. We (I) found it recently and gave it to DS. I said to DS that he should not wear it because I thought that school policy was gold or silver, but he said that the Head of Year had seen him every day and had not said anything so he assumed that it was okay. Also in two weeks no other teacher (including the Head who he had spoken to for a few minutes) had mentioned it and they are normally pretty hot on uniform issues.

Yesterday DS subject teacher mentioned it and DS said that he thought it was okay because HOY had not said anything. Teacher emailed HOY saying DS had said HOY had said it was okay. HOY went straight to the class and asked him to take it out. No problem with that, but rather than let him keep it in his pocket, bag or whatever she took it and said he would not get it back until Christmas.

I spoke to her yesterday afternoon, apologised for him wearing it and said I would collect it today. She did not sound very happy, telling me it was locked away. I just told her that I would be in first thing this morning to collect it if she could leave it at reception.

She called me at 8.40pm last night to tell me that it has been lost!!!!! Apparently she put it in a sealed envelope and although the envelope is was still sealed the earing was not in it?? That is all I know because her attitude infuriated me even more, she wasn't apologising. I did point out that if she had just let DS keep it then if it had got lost it would have been his responsibility, but as she had chosen to take it then she should have looked after it properly. I asked her to call me back in the morning. I did not want to continue speaking to her as I was so cross I was scared I would say something that I would regret so it was better I calm down.

There are some fantastic teachers at this school who really care about the kids and I have the utmost respect for them. There are some good teachers who teach well, but are rather full of their own self importance and she is one of these. I have little respect for her unfortunately as her behaviour a couple of years ago on a school trip that my other DS went on was less than professional. As it did not affect the safety of the children I have never mentioned it and did not complain, but it made me see her in a totally different light. But I digress.

Am I being unreasonable to think that if you confiscate property then you should at least look after it?

[nennypops]

The teacher has lost something. That is not an intentional act.

But what was an intentional act was ignoring the rules in place for safeguarding confiscated items. A teacher who ignores the rules isn't exactly in the strongest position when disciplining students for ignoring them.

[SuburbanRhonda]

No one but the teacher knows why she didn't take the confiscated item straight away to the designated place for safekeeping (not safeguarding!), because none of us was there, including the OP. Some knowledgeable teachers on this thread have listed the many, many jobs a HOY has to do, any one of which may have contributed to her forgetting to put it there.

We'll never know and speculating is pointless. As it suggesting she cba or believed she didn't have to.

Lying is, of course, unacceptable. But I do hope you're not suggesting that if a teacher tells a lie, students do not have to tell the truth?

[BoneyBackJefferson]

Sorry, but is it the HoY that has lost it or the teacher?

[Floggingmolly]

The HOY, Boney

[MistressDeeCee]

OPs son shouldnt have worn the earring to school but these things happen, dont they? As many schoolteachers will be aware.Why didnt the teacher at least admit she'd lost the item, and apologise? It sounds like she had an 'oh well, tough' attitude. I dont care who you are - if you confiscate a valuable item from someone then be sure to put it away safely, and return it. Some kind of assumed elevated status due to being a teacher (which is what some responses have brought to my mind) shouldnt come into it. Bottom line - she took the item away so, give it back. End of story. If she cant or wont then thats another story, but Im not of the mind that this boy deserves to not have this item back because it was against the school rules. Rules are for all, but must be fair. Its fair the item was confiscated. But, seriously unfair that it was not returned to him. The item does not belong to the teacher.

[thebody]

this is why school uniform policy is so bloody ridiculous and out dated.

what a complete and utter waste of every adults involved time and what a ridiculous example of this to a 16 year old.

[StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes]

I just can't help but wonder why it was so important to make him take out the earring in the first place? why is a small diamond any worse than a gold or silver stud? did it interfere with his learning in some way? no of course not, was it a safety risk? no, tbh if no one had noticed it for 2 weeks it was doing no harm at all, ffs why not just say 'xx I notice you are not adhering to school policy, make sure tomorrow that earring is left at home and the correct one is worn' end of.

[SuburbanRhonda]

thebody, I'd be genuinely interested to know what you would change about uniform policy to bring it up-to-date.

Then I could tell you about the uniform policy at my convent school in the 1970s and see if you still think today's uniform policies are out-of-date

[SuburbanRhonda]

Eccles the line has to be drawn somewhere. Students in Year 11 are preparing to go into the adult world. If they think employers will have the time to check everyone is following company policy, rather than assuming they are mature enough to do it anyway, they are in for a shock!

[Floggingmolly]

The school are going to replace it, Coco. The op still wants her pound of flesh to go with it, though.

[bigbrick]

Was it valuable? Do you accept the schools word that it was lost?

[MistressDeeCee]

The OPs probably annoyed because of the teacher's annoying attitude in the 1st instance. Thats why it would have been far better for teacher to just say 'its lost, Im sorry' then work out a compromise. One of the quickest ways to make someone dig their heels in is to be arrogant; there's no need for it and it can make what could be a smaller issue become hugely out of proportion.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

thank you "Flogging*

[SuburbanRhonda]

I think it's the OP who has made a big deal, tbh, mistress.