Teacher has lost DS property

[conkercon]

I need to know if I am right to be furious with a teacher at my ds school?

DS is 16 and for last two weeks has been wearing a small diamond stud to school that belonged to dh back in the day. We (I) found it recently and gave it to DS. I said to DS that he should not wear it because I thought that school policy was gold or silver, but he said that the Head of Year had seen him every day and had not said anything so he assumed that it was okay. Also in two weeks no other teacher (including the Head who he had spoken to for a few minutes) had mentioned it and they are normally pretty hot on uniform issues.

Yesterday DS subject teacher mentioned it and DS said that he thought it was okay because HOY had not said anything. Teacher emailed HOY saying DS had said HOY had said it was okay. HOY went straight to the class and asked him to take it out. No problem with that, but rather than let him keep it in his pocket, bag or whatever she took it and said he would not get it back until Christmas.

I spoke to her yesterday afternoon, apologised for him wearing it and said I would collect it today. She did not sound very happy, telling me it was locked away. I just told her that I would be in first thing this morning to collect it if she could leave it at reception.

She called me at 8.40pm last night to tell me that it has been lost!!!!! Apparently she put it in a sealed envelope and although the envelope is was still sealed the earing was not in it?? That is all I know because her attitude infuriated me even more, she wasn't apologising. I did point out that if she had just let DS keep it then if it had got lost it would have been his responsibility, but as she had chosen to take it then she should have looked after it properly. I asked her to call me back in the morning. I did not want to continue speaking to her as I was so cross I was scared I would say something that I would regret so it was better I calm down.

There are some fantastic teachers at this school who really care about the kids and I have the utmost respect for them. There are some good teachers who teach well, but are rather full of their own self importance and she is one of these. I have little respect for her unfortunately as her behaviour a couple of years ago on a school trip that my other DS went on was less than professional. As it did not affect the safety of the children I have never mentioned it and did not complain, but it made me see her in a totally different light. But I digress.

Am I being unreasonable to think that if you confiscate property then you should at least look after it?

[Roshbegosh]

Yes that is exactly what should happen.

[Bogeyface]

Yes that is exactly what should happen.
:o

So a child confiscated iPod should be sold like the proceeds of crime auctions?!

FFS! Take more water with it love!

[CocacolaMum]

The teacher phoning at 8:40pm would make me think she knew she had fucked up tbh

[Roshbegosh]

Auction it all off for school funds.

[Nessalina]

Ha! I've just asked my (teacher) DH what he does with kids stuff that he confiscates. He said "well if it's a sweet, I eat it!".

[ravenAK]

If I confiscate an earring, I shove it in a ziplock bag - I have a supply in my desk.

Theoretically (& according to school policy) I then take it to the front office.

In practice it goes in my desk drawer & the student comes back for it at end of day, simply because I don't have time to trog down to front office.

If the student doesn't bother to retrieve it, then I drop it in there as I sign out at the end of the day. If the reception staff have already gone home when I sign out, it probably stays in the zip up inner pocket of my bag (alongside my own spare earrings & contact lenses) & I drop it in when I sign in the next morning.

In the event that I lost a student's earring, I'd immediately say that I had - this teacher was at fault for not doing this. I wouldn't lie or prevaricate - just 'Yes, I did confiscate John's earring, I have not had a chance to pass it on to the front office & now I'm afraid I can't find it.'

I would then be ticked off by someone from SLG, who would tetchily refuse my offer to personally pay for the earring, & sort it from school funds. There would be a pained email sent to all staff about following protocol re: confiscation. I'd be ribbed about it in the staffroom for a bit until someone else fucked up on something else.

The whole thing would take up time that could be better used, frankly. Not to mention causing me a sleepless night knowing I was in for a bollocking over it.

Which is why - as a parent - I'd just have written the earring off. I might not be buying this particular teacher an end of year present! But meh, things get lost at school, it's not been done out of malice, the teacher concerned will already have been made thoroughly miserable over it.

[happymummythesedays]

you shouldnt have let him wear it to school if it was vaulable end of.

[morethanpotatoprints]

I'm sure school are liable and have to replace it like for like.
We were taught not to take students possessions and we could ask for them but they didn't have to give them. if we took them and anything happened like a broken mobile screen, we were liable.
It was both school/college policy and in lectures during PgCE.

[ShinyBauble]

It's interesting to me that she said he couldn't have it back until Christmas - such a long time? Could it be possible that she mislaid it during the lesson and so when he enquired about it, gave him that date in the hope that he would forget about it?

[ShinyBauble]

And whatever the ins and outs of the earring situation, the teacher sounds like a shady person.

[Bogeyface]

you shouldnt have let him wear it to school if it was vaulable end of.

Errr yessss.

Thats been done.

RTFT

[MadameDefarge]

It doesn't really matter how many times you read the thread. The fact still remains that if you break the rules, and both you and your ds knew the rules but chose to ignore them, then they will be penalised.

If the the teacher then loses said item, then it is simply unfortunate. Shit happens.

Lesson is, don't risk precious things.

[MadameDefarge]

And as far as the Xmas thing is, in my ds' school the rule is a whole term confiscation. Their call.

[Bogeyface]

The OP didnt know the rules, they didnt choose to ignore them. Yes they made assumptions but that still doesnt make the lies, carelessness and attitude of the teacher ok.

[MadameDefarge]

Oh please, the only excuse for not knowing the rules is because you can't be arsed to know them. They are always spelt out in the parent/school handbook.

The majority of schools have always had a no precious jewellery clause.

[BrianTheMole]

If the the teacher then loses said item, then it is simply unfortunate. Shit happens.

Lesson is, don't risk precious things.

Not really. Lesson is, if you're a teacher, don't confiscate something unless you are prepared to keep it safe. If you don't bother to do that, then take the consequences.

[MadameDefarge]

yeah. cos teachers should be perfect at all times. But parents and children should be able to break the rules whenever they feel like it.

[BrianTheMole]

yeah. cos teachers should be perfect at all times. But parents and children should be able to break the rules whenever they feel like it.

Not that. But as a professional you take responsibility. The teacher the op talks about didn't do that.

[MadameDefarge]

Oh dear. Clearly at cross purposes here.

In my opinion the parent/child/school covenant was broken by the parent and child.

This to me smacks of habitual disrespect.

The teacher has lost something. That is not an intentional act. The parent and the child's act was intentional.

Can you see the difference?

[BrianTheMole]

No. I can't see the point you are trying to make here. It wasn't the ops intention for the teacher to take the stud and then lose it. There were other options open to the teacher. 1) she could have asked the child to remove it and put it in his bag. 2) she could have taken it straight to the office rather than carry it around with her. Yes the child shouldn't have brought it to school. But no, that doesn't give the teacher the right to not take care of it if she decides to take it away from him. Can you see the point here?

[JudyJudgypants]

Take it on the chin OP, you knew he should not be wearing it, he knew he should not be wearing it, the school removed it from him when it was brought to their attention he should not be wearing it.
If it was that precious to you he should not have worn it to school.

[madwomanintheatt1c]

Omfg.
She lost it. Accidentally.
School insurance will pay out.
Let. It. Go.

The teacher's mortified, and the op is practically widdling with delight that she has caught a teacher lying. Most unsavoury.

We all make mistakes, get over it.

Sometimes stuff does get lost. And sometimes it's human nature to tell a small white lie that you have locked x up in pastoral, because it is your intention to do that very thing next, and you think it is still safely esconced in your diary because you haven't had time to get to the damned lock cabinet yet.

It's really very mean to now get all high horsey about lying, with lots of gleeful hand rubbing and salivating, and bosom hoisting about the expectations of honesty in the youth blah blah blah blah blah. Grim stuff.

[Eggsiseggs]

School should replace it if that's what you want.

The teacher was totally in the right to take it and keep it, but now unfortunately it has been lost, so it is her responsibility.

Same happened with one of our teachers and a mobile phone. School paid for a replacement, but we all sympathised with the teacher who had just been doing her job.

Shit happens Don't get too het up about it.

[Eggsiseggs]

ravenAK your post made me laugh.

Esp the 'whole staff' email about policy and the tetchy SMT refusal ha ha!

It is also FACT that you only ever lose or mess up the stuff of the kid with that parent. Sigh.

[Roshbegosh]

Well said madwomanintheattic
OP should not attempt the moral high ground here. Or OP could move her DS to a school with no discipline and he can wear what he likes. Talk about lunatics running the asylum, YOU should apologise OP.