Teacher has lost DS property

[conkercon]

I need to know if I am right to be furious with a teacher at my ds school?

DS is 16 and for last two weeks has been wearing a small diamond stud to school that belonged to dh back in the day. We (I) found it recently and gave it to DS. I said to DS that he should not wear it because I thought that school policy was gold or silver, but he said that the Head of Year had seen him every day and had not said anything so he assumed that it was okay. Also in two weeks no other teacher (including the Head who he had spoken to for a few minutes) had mentioned it and they are normally pretty hot on uniform issues.

Yesterday DS subject teacher mentioned it and DS said that he thought it was okay because HOY had not said anything. Teacher emailed HOY saying DS had said HOY had said it was okay. HOY went straight to the class and asked him to take it out. No problem with that, but rather than let him keep it in his pocket, bag or whatever she took it and said he would not get it back until Christmas.

I spoke to her yesterday afternoon, apologised for him wearing it and said I would collect it today. She did not sound very happy, telling me it was locked away. I just told her that I would be in first thing this morning to collect it if she could leave it at reception.

She called me at 8.40pm last night to tell me that it has been lost!!!!! Apparently she put it in a sealed envelope and although the envelope is was still sealed the earing was not in it?? That is all I know because her attitude infuriated me even more, she wasn't apologising. I did point out that if she had just let DS keep it then if it had got lost it would have been his responsibility, but as she had chosen to take it then she should have looked after it properly. I asked her to call me back in the morning. I did not want to continue speaking to her as I was so cross I was scared I would say something that I would regret so it was better I calm down.

There are some fantastic teachers at this school who really care about the kids and I have the utmost respect for them. There are some good teachers who teach well, but are rather full of their own self importance and she is one of these. I have little respect for her unfortunately as her behaviour a couple of years ago on a school trip that my other DS went on was less than professional. As it did not affect the safety of the children I have never mentioned it and did not complain, but it made me see her in a totally different light. But I digress.

Am I being unreasonable to think that if you confiscate property then you should at least look after it?

[TheIggorcist]

Believe me the teacher will be getting grief from the head, even if they are not telling you that.

[TheIggorcist]

Peggy that is the daftest thing I've heard today.

[eofa1]

If the teacher sounds not particularly helpful it's probably because she has better things to do than deal with kids who can't stick to simple uniform related rules. Both you and your son both clearly knew he wasn't supposed to be wearing it. He may well have "got away" with wearing it for a bit, but again that's because a busy teacher may well not notice it immediately. He has deliberately broken a rule, and now teachers are wasting time dealing with a whiny parent who thinks those rules don't really need to apply to her DC.

[SuburbanRhonda]

OP, I do hope that, no matter how "furious" you are with the teachers, you remember when talking to your son about this, to focus on the fact that none of this would have happened if he had simply followed the school rules.

[JRmumma]

Why does it matter if he shouldn't have been wearing it? If the teacher took it, then she should have looked after it.

If the blame lies with ds or the op for him wearing it, then its surely ok for the school to just throw in the bin ANYTHING that they confiscate and not worry about returning it to the child/parent???

[timidviper]

I think you may have to be pragmatic about the loss, it is sad but they will replace it and it is a lesson learned.

I would be inclined though to write to the head just saying that, although you accept DS and you were at fault for allowing it in school, you are prepared to accept the school's offer to replace it. You are, however, very disappointed that the teacher was so cavalier with someone else's property and has not seen fit to apologise.

[SuburbanRhonda]

JR, I think you're being melodramatic.

The teacher didn't throw it in the bin, she lost it by accident.

The OP herself admits it was lost at her own home for some time before her son decked to start wearing t to school, against uniform regulations.

[SuburbanRhonda]

Decked?

decided

[HorsePetal]

With the best will in the world OP, things get lost. Even if someone takes great care to keep it safe, things can still go missing.

I think its grossly unfair on teachers who have to confiscate things in the first place (risk of confrontation with pupil and possible parents, time spent 'dealing' with the issue that they probably can't spare and then the responsibility of caring for someones property).

None of that is in their job description.

If the earring was important to you (either monetary or sentimental value) then why was your son allowed to take it into school in the first place?

[conkercon]

Should make it clear I am furious about the lie.

[eofa1]

This is really not a matter of two "wrongs". The OP's dear child did wrong, the teacher accidentally lost the earring. Two very different things.

[Stropzilla]

I would be cross about the lie and lack of apology. By taking the earring she was taking responsibility for it so I would expect a replacement. Was it real or cz?

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Can u imagine if this gets out. All the people who would start claiming their stuff went missing as the teacher took it and expecting a pay out.

Even if they shouldnt have been fiddling with their phones or brought in their dads pen knife. It's big for fetched to assume some toe rag would swipe it out the desk drawer if the head popped in for a quiet word with the teacher and they stepped out the class momentarily.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Not to far fetched. Dam phone

[SparklyFucker]

The fact that your son shouldn't have been wearing the earing and was disciplined for it and the earing removed from his possession is separate to what happened to said earing afterwards, and I get the impression that it is the latter that you are, quite rightly imo, concerned most about. I'm glad the school are offering to pay for a replacement, and I would write to them accepting it gracefully so that there is a written record. You could also say in the letter that you fully support their rules and actions in dealing with your son at the time, but are disappointed by the lack of attention to school policy afterwards that has resulted in their responsibility for the loss of your son's possessions.

[conkercon]

Timedviper and subrhonda yes thanks. Going to take both your comments on board. If this happened with certain other teachers I know I would feel differently because I know they would be mortified as I would be. I am not a whiney parent and back school up in pretty much everything. Eg when maths text book got destroyed by drink spilling in ds bag I paid £20 for replacement. But the lie has made me cross.

[Gruntfuttock]

I think the teacher should have taken more care with someone else's property. To not even apologise for its loss is unacceptable IMO.

[conkercon]

Sparklyfucker yes you have it exactly. Thank you.

[tracypenisbeaker]

This link is useful.

www.atl.org.uk/help-and-advice/school-and-college/student-property.asp

It says- 'As a general rule, perishable items such as food should be returned not later than the end of the school day, as should valuable items such as jewellery. Other items should be returned after seven days. If the issue is serious enough for a longer period of confiscation, then parents should be informed. It is not generally reasonable for property to be withheld for longer than a half term.'

So she had no right to withhold it til Christmas in the first place.

Also- 'Forms should usually be used as receipts for confiscated property and locked receptacles should be provided to ensure that it can be kept safely.'

And the cherry on the cake- 'You are legally responsible for any property that you have confiscated. You could potentially be held legally responsible if items were lost through negligence. Saying that a pupil should not have had the lost item with them in school in the first place is no defence.

You should take reasonable care of items by keeping them either on your person, or in a locked receptacle until they can be handed in to the school office (or other designated place) with identification showing to whom the item belongs, when and by whom it was confiscated.

If reasonable care is not taken and the property is lost, students are entitled to claim compensation against the school or college.'

[tracypenisbeaker]

www.atl.org.uk/help-and-advice/school-and-college/student-property.asp

[tracypenisbeaker]

The fact that he 'shouldn't have been wearing it' is here nor there.

[conkercon]

Thank you so much Tracy. Very useful.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Y?

She's trying to get your kids ready for exams etc . The last parts of an education that's meant to set your children up to be able to make their choices that influence their whole lives and instead she's having to piss about finding envelopes and taking stuff of kids who have been there long enough to know the rules. It got lost in the upheaval some how but of the kids and parents adhered to the rules in the first place it wouldn't have.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

It's not even something that was a stand in while they tracked down something suitable. He wasn't left freezing at the bus stop cos his coat was taken away. It was something that he easily could have worn any other time and didn't technically need to be work at all. Earrings weren't even allowed in some schools

[Dontletthemgetyoudown]

I can see why you are angry. People are saying its just an earring, does it matter? The teacher took responsibility for looking after said property she should have followed procedure if she felt so strongly that it needed to be removed, then it wouldn't have been lost. However she didn't follow policy and it has been lost, therefore she should take responsibility and replace the item and apologise!