Am I being a spoilt brat?

[NancyShrew]

Engagment is potentially the cards for DP and I and I have spied a couple of potential rings that I might like. These rings are all round about £5k, which I think is a fair bit of money to spend on a ring! DP earns reasonably well, but it would require some savings on his part, probably taking about a year for him to save enough for the ring I want.

I have a feeling that DH wants to get engaged soon, as in the next six months, when presumably I would have to have a cheaper ring. We are still in our twenties so time is on our side. AIBU to want him to wait and save for the ring of my dreams? He's a generous man and I know he wouldn't begrudge spending that much money, think he's just a bit impatient!

I thought 'the done thing' was a month's salary?

Not that we paid any attention to that as we spent £650 on my gorgeous ring.

I think spending 5k on a ring is fine if............you have plenty of money and 5k would be a drop in the ocean for you. If it was a case of having to save for the bastard i'd rather not bother. I would rather put that money towards a new car or something useful.

If he couldn't afford it I'd be happier with a smaller ring
Frankly, if it will take him a year to save for it, he can't afford it.

tabby does anyone really thing 'wow' when they have been stuck married to the same fucker for 20 years

Am I being hideously old fashioned here, but I thought that a man proposed with a ring or you choose a ring together THAT IS AFFORDABLE FOR HIM AND NICE.

If your DP has to save for a year than he can't afford £5k.

Surely there must be a ring you like that costs less than 5K?

DP proposed to me with a ring that only cost a quid! I had a ring that came in a set of Buffy memorabilia, but I lost it, so he went and found a duplicate and proposed to me with that.

Erm yes. Yes you are.
That us my polite and succinct post. I could elaborate, but I choose not too.

TheAlyss Ring for a quid . I wouldn't be saying 'I do'. I would be saying 'No I Fucking Don't'

My first engagement ring cost £1k (in 1991). I hated it. I thought it was flashy, show-offy and tacky. The marriage only lasted for 3 years. ExH had no idea what I like or what I wanted. Large expensive rings look fake, unless they are surrounded by equally expensive other jewellery and/or accessories.

DH on the other hand bought exactly what I liked, what suited me and what I wear comfortable and happily 9 years on. It cost £500.

Our wedding rings cost less than £100 for the both.

Being married is what matters, not the bloody trappings.

Take a picture of the ring and take it to a jeweller to get it made. Better stone for less money.

And has he promised never to go to a strip club ever again?

I don't understand how anyone can 'upgrade' an engagement ring?

Surely the original ring is the one that holds sentimental value and you'd always want that to be on your engagement finger, no matter how many rings he buys you after that?

nannyogg Men brake promises. If someone gets away with it once. Which he has. He will do it again. I know

Hmm. DMum is spending some inheritance on a ring, and all the jewellers we've been to (and there have been more than a few) have said you're looking at 4-5K for something "special". I think that translates as "sparkly as fuck".

Anyway, I suspect that for all PP's suggestions of going to Hatton Garden, pre-owned rings or going to auctions just aren't going to do it for you. You want the experience of being shown into a plush room while a woman with diamond earrings the size of spark plugs asks you what sort of coffee you want ("Apple juice? Sparkling water? My first born?"). You'll get that when you spend that sort of money on a ring, but is it important?

This ring is going to be on your finger for the rest of your life (hopefully), so it's important you like it. Please just remember that engagement rings date like any other bit of jewellery- what you think you "love" now you may feel different about in five, ten years. Don't spend more than you can afford or pressure him into spending more than he feels comfortable with on something like this. So (gently, because I also love shiny things too) YABU.

I don't understand the attraction of engagement rings anyway.
I never had one.

But then I have lost my wedding ring so don't hold any sentimental attachement to jewellery.

Personally I think it's not worth spending that much on a ring, but it's up to you and DP. Just remember that once you are married his money will be your money, so with that in mind you might prefer he didn't blow it on a ring!

("Apple juice? Sparkling water? My first born?")

I don't understand how anyone can 'upgrade' an engagement ring?

^^This. You upgrade a car or gym membership, not an engagement ring. Where's the sentiment attached to that kind of attitude?

Sounds like a 'look at me, look at me!' situation.

Wow, it makes the £380 we scrimped and saved for my ring seem like a ridiculously small amount. I wouldn't waste that much on a ring tbh even if I had the money.

Also OP. What if (and i hope this does not happen) he lost his job . The diamond market is not good at the moment. I did actually try and sell mine and you get sod all at the moment. Better to have the money than a sparky stone. You cant eat a diamond

I give it six months

I proposed to my hubby, we didn't get an engagement ring at my suggestion. I just took the one that he had given me as a birthday pressie and got it resized so that we could get the money together for the wedding quicker. I can't imagine thinking a ring was worth delaying the engagement or wedding for. The engagement was just me asking him to marry me and then us telling everyone we were engaged. No party, no ring, just us!

5K? Jesus Christ.

My ring cost about £500 but I only found out after we'd been engaged for a month. The ring I picked out was about £120 from (shock horror) Argos because I knew we didn't have much money. Little did I know, DP had secretly been saving money for months and he got me one from H Samuel.

But, I don't care. I would have been happy with the £120 one from Argos. That's the ring I thought he'd bought when he got down on one knee and that's the ring he put on my finger when I said "yes". I want to be with him, not his money.

Thread I liked was the imaginary diamond necklace stolen by the fake thieving bastard cleaner