Am I being a spoilt brat?

[NancyShrew]

Engagment is potentially the cards for DP and I and I have spied a couple of potential rings that I might like. These rings are all round about £5k, which I think is a fair bit of money to spend on a ring! DP earns reasonably well, but it would require some savings on his part, probably taking about a year for him to save enough for the ring I want.

I have a feeling that DH wants to get engaged soon, as in the next six months, when presumably I would have to have a cheaper ring. We are still in our twenties so time is on our side. AIBU to want him to wait and save for the ring of my dreams? He's a generous man and I know he wouldn't begrudge spending that much money, think he's just a bit impatient!

If you have to ask then you can't afford it

I think the saying goes...

Is this the same DP that went to a strip bar, got a private dance and you bought a £1500 bag

Oh dear God...

Why don't you pay for half? (Or more?)

Bag was returned in the end :(

I think if you have to ask if you are being spoilt, you already know the answer. My engagement ring was not worth more than a tenner - we were skint at the time, my wedding ring isn't much more.

It is my husband and family that I like to take the pride in, not the bauble on my finger that could be gone in a flash.

X post.... just read about your savings already for wedding....ignore me

Yabu I can't believe anyone thinks like that, my ring cost £75 and 11 years later I still love it and my husband.... I would rather have a happy life & marriage than an expensive ring

If its 5k in a shop, try to find one in an auction Antique rings can be 1/5 of the price! And if you are happy waiting you may see something more amazing! I

wtf?! yabu!

You do sound bratty. If you really want that ring, you should pay something towards it. You are a partnership after all.

yeah pretty grabby. why put the guy under all that stress of saving up etc?

i've never really got this kind of mindset

Well you certainly appear to have your priorities in order - if you can be bought for a 5k ring good for you.
I happen to agree with outnumbered and queenofallisee, we must be soooo old-fashioned!

My SIL managed to ask my brother on the half hour drive home after getting engaged for a bigger ring - one of the many reasons why I can't stand the greedy bitch so-and-so. The fact she doesn't work out of choice adds to my desire to use her as target practice

Hopefully for your sake, your DP has more sense than to tell any sisters he may have about what you would/wouldn't like that affects his hard earned wage....

I think it's absolutely barking to spend a sum that large on one tiny piece of jewellery. Even £1k seems like a huge waste to me. Are you sure you've looked in enough jewellers?

When I say it would take a year, that's with no cutbacks and yet more money spent on ridiculously expensive golf clubs . To put it into perspective DP has approx 1600 disposable income after all bills a month, plus a small amount of savings so could save quicker if he wanted.

Nancy, You do love a provocative thread don't you?!

it's all so vulgar

Ahh so you want him to save the money to spend on you rather than spending money which he has earned on himself. Nice!

Surely you should be happy to be getting engaged whatever the cost of the ring is?

I am sorry I didn't mean for it to kick off!

I would be terrified to Have a 5k ring what if you lost it?

YABU - he wants to commit to spending the rest of his life with you and you are holding out for a 5k ring. An engagement is supposed to be an expression of your love for one another and your intention to make a life together, not an opportunity for one person to demand expensive trinkets.

OP listen to me . Get the 5k ring. If the fucker boyfriend gets a private dance again or really pisses you off and one day you want to leave him have time away from him. Then you will have a little nest egg for your trouble.

Why arent you both buying the ring? Why is it all 'dp will have to save' surely you live together and share finances?

Oh right so his hard earned wages should go on your self indulgence rather than golf clubs for himself?

Great logic