Am I being a spoilt brat?

[NancyShrew]

Engagment is potentially the cards for DP and I and I have spied a couple of potential rings that I might like. These rings are all round about £5k, which I think is a fair bit of money to spend on a ring! DP earns reasonably well, but it would require some savings on his part, probably taking about a year for him to save enough for the ring I want.

I have a feeling that DH wants to get engaged soon, as in the next six months, when presumably I would have to have a cheaper ring. We are still in our twenties so time is on our side. AIBU to want him to wait and save for the ring of my dreams? He's a generous man and I know he wouldn't begrudge spending that much money, think he's just a bit impatient!

Or spend your entire £5k on a single, one-carat stone. Now, that I would envy!

I'm in agreement with SugarHut on this, go independent you will get so much more for your money. Do not go high street. I went to Hatton Garden for mine & the price difference was unbelievable. I am certain you will get what you want for considerably less than £5k.

You can go over to Amsterdam, pick your own decent stone (they show you what to look for) and get it put into the setting of your choice there and then, and save quite a bit of money whilst having a nice weekend away. That's what we did. I designed my own ring and it's lovely, plus I know exactly what I paid for.

That sounds a really good idea BoffinMum. But how would you know the jeweller was a reputable one and you are spending a lot of money. I'd be worried they might give me a piece of glass. I know that sounds a bit daft but I'm always wary about buying jewellery.

That 5k ring makes op's choice look like something out of a Christmas cracker, garlic.
Pure class

Seriously you are bonkers if you are planning to get that ring. From Beaverbrooks? Just get you to Hatton Garden or go online. Or find a friend who actually knows something about diamonds to stop yourself from getting ripped off (as you are about to be). That ring is not worth £5k

I wouldn't buy SI2 but that ring that Garlictrivia linked to is much better

AHEM!!!

However, lets not piss on the OPs dream ring!

It is a very nice ring, antique style, very nice. PP's are just pointing out what rip off merchants high st jewellers can be and what a lovely bespoke piece you could have for less money and more diamond if you go to the right places :)

Sorry! Dont know how the rogue "however" got into the start of that!

You're getting a hard time OP I think if you know that your dp can afford it ultimately then you should go for the ring you love. I know I would not have been happy with a cheap ring and if that makes me shallow so be it. I am not into cars or handbags etc but I have always always loved jewellery and knew I wanted a nice ring. My ring was designed by dh (he works in a related area so I utterly trusted his taste) and he had it made and it was very expensive (more than the OP's) and I wear it every day, I am never afraid to wear it and never was, it id frequently admired. The stone is of exceptional quality and it is not at all ostentatious, it is a single stone in a very nice setting, no other diamonds or stones. 11 years later I still love it and admire it every day.

I think there have to be far more MM's here with large expensive rings than seem to be posting on this thread if the style and beauty threads are anything to go by, I can't believe all MM's are happy with small cheap rings ....

Ok, my ring is worth about £1k ( as far as I'm aware). My oh chose it, I had no idea it's what he would spend. The difference is her OH can't necessarily afford it, the OP thinks its ok to delay the engagement whilst he saves up the £5k to spend in the ring she wants. That does seem spoilt, and missing the point of it all.

There are a number of large diamond factories set up for people to do exactly this, and they show you masses of stones of different qualities and types whilst explaining what to look for. You will soon develop an ability to judge for yourself. The stones are sold with full certification and if you pay on your credit card you have recourse if it turns out the certification was wrong (you can get an independent valuation done when you get back if you want). So it's fine, and a rather interesting way of hunting down a good stone. They have jewellers on site to set the stones for you in various types of ring.

I chose a G grade stone, brilliant cut, plus 6 small C grade ones, also brilliant cut, set either side of the larger stone in an 18ct ring (your wedding ring will also need to be 18ct so the rings don't destroy each other). About 1 ct in total, classic posh ring but one that nobody will mug me for. A lot of British people choose inferior stones with many inclusions (aka crap embedded in the stone) and a Princess cut aimed at maximising size against brilliance. This is pure bling. For a decent investment you need G grade or above and a more traditional cut. Plus they look incredibly classy.

Somewhere I have my certification which will have the factory's name on it, if you want a contact in Amsterdam. My ring has been valued and I wasn't sold a croc, I know that!!!

Where is Op is she out diamond shopping today with all the new suggestions....????

I love the ring but £5,000, bloody hell!

I know it's not part of your aibu but I think it's a bit odd that he's told you he's planning on proposing in the next 6 months, like he's keeping you dangling.

Why did you send the bag back after his lap dance shenanigans?

Yep you are being a brat. Why would you need a ring that costs so much? That is a visually amount of money.
I didn't have an engagement ring. I guess I could have made him save up but I wanted to marry him not just get a ring on my finger.
We did have wedding rings which we designed ourselves and paid for together. Total of about £1k.
Do you actually love him? Or is getting engaged just about putting photos of your dream ring on Facebook?

Antwerp is also a possibility for buying diamonds and some people think it's better value. But do read up on diamonds and how to assess quality before you spend any money!

I think Antwerp's a better weekend away, Boffin :) Love the place - so full of history & creativity! I prefer princess or baguette cut diamonds (I sound like I can afford them, lol,) not due to cheapskatery, but because I don't really like masses of sparkle. I appreciate it on other people, though! Wonder whether OP's proposed yet?

That's a pretty ring OP but very poor clarity for that amount of money.

When I got engaged 5 years ago I got a ring that was apparently worth £4k (I checked for insurance purposes) tbh I was flattered and it was a lovely ring but it was not what I'd spend that money on and it was diamonds which are nice but I prefer sapphires as my birthstone.

Anyway we broke up 3 years ago.

My brother proposed with an antique ring from USA (not worth a huge amount) but his wife was happy with it and she chose a nice wedding band. Her SIL (her brothers wife) got a nice liberty ring which he chose with sister (brothers wife) she returned and upgraded for pricier ring at either his or her cost but she wanted more bling. Her choice.

Some people (my work colleague) are ostentatious) I'm not I'd prefer nice ring, nicely designed rather than big F off diamonds but that's me! My work colleague v funny we had client and wife in both South Africans and she bitched to me the wife was wearing blood diamonds! Yet colleague has diamond tennis bracelet and e-ring and I know for a fact they're blood diamonds as asked her after her comment and admitted yes they were.

Anyway your choice OP but I do think a tad mercenary you should marry him for him if you want nicer ring put some of your own cash towards it.

you know the answer to your question yourself I think

Rule of thumb is that the engagement ring should be a month's wages (of the giver, not the receiver). I think the patriarchs who run the diamond industry made that up though. Not sure how reasonable it is.

If you want a ring that costs more than that, why don't you contribute to it and make up the difference?

I realise this is not a very romantic proposal so possibly unacceptable.