Am I being a spoilt brat?

[NancyShrew]

Engagment is potentially the cards for DP and I and I have spied a couple of potential rings that I might like. These rings are all round about £5k, which I think is a fair bit of money to spend on a ring! DP earns reasonably well, but it would require some savings on his part, probably taking about a year for him to save enough for the ring I want.

I have a feeling that DH wants to get engaged soon, as in the next six months, when presumably I would have to have a cheaper ring. We are still in our twenties so time is on our side. AIBU to want him to wait and save for the ring of my dreams? He's a generous man and I know he wouldn't begrudge spending that much money, think he's just a bit impatient!

I am happy to be engaged whatever the cost of the ring, doesn't change the fact that in an ideal world I'd like a big one.

Whatever happened to "you get what you're given"??

He should decide how much he wants to spend on a gift for you, and then he should propose when he is ready... This all sounds way too mercenary to me.

My dh chose my ring and proposed with it. It wasn't quite to my taste but it grew on me and I wouldn't change it for anything.

And I bought him a watch of a similar value and proposed back a few months later. Wanted everything to feel equal... And thought it would be nice for him!

I thought you were meant to give the ring back if you split up with a fiancé? I don't think I'd be comfortable with the idea of 'oh well, at least I've got something expensive to sell when it all goes tits up'.

I don't actually have the words to describe how you're coming across OP but can't be arsed to give you a bun/biscuit/donut.

My husband spent a fair bit on an engagement ring.. I'm terrified to wear the bastard and it was just under a grand I think.

5k

Why? Just why? Think of all the wonderful things you could have with that money. Will it make the engagement any more special? Will it make you marriage last longer? Will it shit out golden eggs and make you rich beyond your wildest dreams?? I'd guess not.

If my DH said he'd wanted to put off getting married until I'd saved up for a £5000 trinket just for him, I'd call it off.

I'm not a grabby bitch worra I often make sacrifices so I can treat DP, e.g. Not going on a girls holiday so I could put the money towards a watch for him that he really wanted.

So he upsets you and so you spend his money on a £1500 handbag. Now he wants to get engaged but you are holding out for a ring that it will take him a year to save for. You sound a bit mercenary to me.

I know a young man who bought an engagement ring on eBay - a beautiful antique one with a filigree setting - because he couldn't afford what he really wanted for his wife-to-be. It is a beautiful ring, and she loves it!! Or how about estate sales? I also see other types of rings advertised as usable for an engagement: sapphires, rubies, etc. Don't think I'd spend 5K!!

This thread has surprised me if I'm honest, from previous engagement ring threads I've seen, a lot of mumsnetters have rings worth 5k +

I was told you get what you're given. When dh proposed he bought me the most beautiful shiniest sparkler in the world. But. He's since told me that had I asked to change it. He would have walked away. It's not about the ring. It's about the person.

Yabu

Hell yes get the ring, you may need to pawn it after the divorce to pay for your handbags , as younger, fitter 2nd wife will be asking for an even bigger ring (it always has to cost more than 1st wifes, thems the rules!) so he wont have as much disposable income left for alimony.

(sorry couldnt resist)

Just to make it clear I have not mentioned the cost whatsoever to DP.

Oh for God's sake, so what! It's just a ring !

She'll be on here in afew years time probably having a moan about looking after two under five while he works long hours and does fuck all around the house and then everyone will tell her to LTB and take whatever she can!

Do it op! And congratulations

kau there's always one who has to troll hunt isn't there , if I was going to goad I'd post something more interesting.

Are you the diamond necklace poster?

What is the diamond necklace poster?!

I don't actually have the words to describe how you're coming across OP but can't be arsed to give you a bun/biscuit/donut

She probably wouldn't want one unless it was a 5K biscuit.

I can imagine if my DP bought me a 10 quid ring from Argos you'd all be telling me he was a thoughtless bastard.

Not at all Nancy, it is the thought that counts not the cost.

That said there is a massive difference between £10 and £5000!

Walking down the road with 5k on my hand would give me the horrors.

I'm not jewelry person so spending that amount feels unreasonable to me but I think you'd be better off discussing it honestly with your DP.

70 quid!

Rings don't matter when you love somebody.. I mean want to climb inside somebody love.

I would try and explain how shallow you sound but I doubt it would make any difference. Have fun

Look online at Hatton Garden manufacturers who can supply the stone and the setting separately and make you a big in your face ring at much lower cost - if that's what you want. Your DP will save a huge proportion on high street prices.

As for the relationship, well, there is no Carling solution to that one.