AIBU to be fuming over my mums will.

[navada]

My mum lives in a house worth over 700k. I always assumed that on her death the house would be sold & split between me & my 3 siblings. ( I'd never been told otherwise! )
Anyway, about 5 years ago my brother moved back in with my mum when his marriage broke up, it was only supposed to be a temporary measure until he sorted himself out - he never quite got around to sorting himself out & still lives there. I found out a few months ago that my mum has made a will leaving the house to all of us, but with a stipulation that my brother can say in the house for as long as he wants. He's fully intending to take up that offer.

Right now I hate both of them. how bloody unfair!

Vanitas, the limit is £650k if she can use her husbands allowance, not £700k.

Don't assume solicitors will sort of the IHT.

For what it's worth I think you are being very reasobable! I would be fuming if my mother did this. There is no way he needs a £700k house and therefore it is totally unfair.

By the same token what's worth more to the brother? Selling up so they all get their fair share or keeping it all to himself and falling out with his siblings

That's what I keep wondering. In some posters' responses, the OP gets a pasting, but her brother's attitude and behaviour is not criticised at all.

Puzzling.

I don't think OP is being unreasonable at all. Why does the brother still need to be staying with his mother 7 years later?

The other siblings are being punished for leading independent lives.

They are all entitled to a fair share

What's worth more to you, 1/4 of the money from a sold house or your family?

Or . . . what's worth more to ops mum, pandering and preferential treatment of one child over the others, or treating her children equally?

Or . . . what's worth more to ops brother, getting all the family assets for himself or being a decent human being and not screwing over his siblings?

That's what I keep wondering. In some posters' responses, the OP gets a pasting, but her brother's attitude and behaviour is not criticised at all. Puzzling.

I think its either . . .

A, op is a woman and so its not a naice to talk about money, or expect to be treated equally to the man of the family, she's supposed to just put up and shut up about everything in order to keep the peace and sit in a corner with her mouth closed looking pretty.

B, posters on here think anyone who even mentions wills is a grabby fucker because its not the done thing and op is here to lay into and her brother isn't.

Although amazingly, the posters who keep saying how greedy she is don't even mention that her brother is too, which takes me back to point A.

You and your siblings need advice or you will be paying a lot of IHT.

Ahole ( & everyone else who sees this from my point of view )
Thank you for your support. I don't think I am being unreasonable really, I just want us all treated equally, is that such a bad thing? Plus I know if the house was left to me or one of my sisters, my brother wouldn't just put up & shut up.

Mollywash I don't think the children can change the IHT situation without the mum agreeing to take advice.

molding but in your example the sister had presumably sacrificed her work life to look after the parents. That doesn't seem to be the case here.

On the inheritance tax issue, there are insurance policies that can be taken out to cover the inheritance tax and avoid the sale of the home. Maybe the OP's mother has one of these.

Even if she does, she is still being very unfair and setting her children up for a lifetime of resentment, sadness and anger after her death. Why would she do that?

OP, Yanbu.

OP - please talk to your mum. Just give her a chance to explain and give yourself a chance to put your point of view. It's your mum, not your brother who's doing this. You can't assume the IHT is sorted, ask. If you can't sell the house, the IHT will be a problem. Make sure your mum has thought about it. (Alot of older people don't, mainly because IHT is something the super rich paid when they were young, but if you live in London, a very normal average family house easily reaches that amount)

My DH found himself in a very similar situation today.
He is the eldest, he has a sister who lives in her own house and the youngest brother (who’s 52), who has always lived at home, but has never helped out around the home. MIL does all his laundry, cooking, etc, pretty much everything for him! He’s completely healthy - just really, really lazy!
As FIL passed away in 2003, DH & I regularly do the 90 mile round trip from our home to hers to do all the DIY jobs that need doing.
We were there this morning measuring up as she said she wants a complete new bathroom & kitchen. DH said he would do it all for her.
In the next breath, she says “I need to tell you, at the moment, my will states for the house to be sold and the proceeds to be divided equally to the three of you.....but I’m changing it so that Mick (youngest brother) inherits the house as I can’t see him on the street”.
We’ve never talked about MIL’s will/money/house, but it was a real slap in the face - it’s not about money or assets, it’s the act itself. DH said to me that he’d have less of a problem if she left everything to a dogs charity rather than all of it to one son.
So, OP I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, as if the house was sold and the money was divided equally, there would still be enough to at least put a good deposit down in another property.

Why do people keep digging up these ancient threads? It's from 2013 fgs.

How nice that you're already worrying about what you'll get your mitts on when your mother dies...

ZOMBIE THREAD
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What's in your head......
In your heeeeaaaadddd?
Zombie!

I don't understand the hatred OP. While it is her house and she can do what she likes, it's not fair. It is your inheritance and it should be split fairly.

Wow - that would annoy me too ! Its favouritism and will divide you all once she passes away. In this day and age we are all very (sadly) reliant on the possible will of our baby boomer parent ( I know I am )

Yanbu to feel like this

Now to move on and explore how to not let it sour relationships

ZOMBIE THREAD
ZOMBIE THREAD
ZOMBIE THREAD

I just don't think siblings should fight over money, sad. Even worse if you're annoyed at your Parents.

Now to move on and explore how to not let it sour relationships

This thread is 5 years old. Hopefully the OP has moved on by now.

User long number - if you want advice about your own situation, you'd be best to start a new thread. This one is from 2013 and 15 pages long!

Surely he would have to give you one third of the equivalent value of the house in cold hard cash if he intends to stay in the house. It is your right to have a third of your inheritance and that doesn't stop him from staying in the house. Also, wouldn't he need to pay you rent for living in your share of the house?

Read the OPs original, saw the date, was hoping for a resolution.

Blumming Zombie thread.

Laughing at the indignity and distress of 90 mile round trip! Sounds so much more than three quarters of an hour drive each way, lots of people do that as their daily commute dear..........