To think these childless women should mind their fucking business

[TheCrumpetQueen]

Warning - fuming.

Partner went out tonight for work, came home late, ds got up at 1am then 3am, I asked partner for help as he wouldn't stop crying.
He then turns to me and said he had been talking to some women who had said he shouldn't have to help at night as he works talk about sisterhood.
To say I was pissed off is an understatement and an argument ensued. He went and slept on the sofa.
Wibu to go and flick these women in the face along with P?

OP, your husband is BU. He knew, when he had children, that there was a fucking good chance they would not sleep. If he wasn't prepared for that, why did he even fucking have them? It is men like HIM that make women like me feel sorry for their wives and partners.

Fixed that for you, Josephine. What a nasty post.

OP - Your DP acted disgracefully, you needed help and he ignored you. I think you need to have a long talk with him (personally I'd show him the door but I appreciate its not that easy).

Get lost Josephine, come back when you've got dcs and are so at the end of your tether you are thinking violent thoughts towards the thing you love the most and need your partners support.

You have no clue and I won't be replying to any more of your ignorant posts.

Or what Rosa said.

If two adults can't agree how they parent their baby both are both unreasonable
Huffs,arguing isn't good fir anyone.and probably leads to deep resentment
Out of interest did you both ever talk about roles/tasks or did it just pan out like this

If were at end of tether and stressed yes he should snap to it,to support you
In situation of being desperate you describe yes he should have helped
I suppose the obvious question is what now,what happens next time

Wow OP some people are so horrid! How small does someone's world have to be to abuse a stranger who's having a tough time to start with? I think you probably deserve a bubbly bath and a glass of wine.I'm back off to the style and beauty threads where I usually lurk. You should join us as we're a smiley and supportive crew! .

Problem is she's too bloody exhausted to think straight, i imagine. I know i was! Not best time for decision making.

Op, why not post a thread in Relationships? AiBU often turns into a bunfight and you need support.

Haha looking after sisters babies? I did that when I was 13 - two unders twos to be precise - piss of piss when you can give them back.

I have worked since i was 15, now 27. ive worked at my catering business 7 days a week for 3 years after getting a First at university, doubt you do anything like that, love.

Run along.

Crying with laughter at you presuming that I have never worked based on the fact I've been on maternity for 10 months. What an ignoramus.

I think it depends on so many things. I always got up in night with baby when on maternity leave as I could sleep in the day (even when I had dc2 and dc3 older dc at school or nursery).... However dh always got up if older kids woke while I on maternity leave, and once back at work we take it in turns. That all being said dh did help if a baby was up more than twice but dh v pro sleep training and I think that had i not gone along with this that he would not have been so supportive of night time waking.

OP, YANBU.

So you do ALL of the childrearing, the housework and run your own business. Your DP roles out of bed, goes to the room next door in his pj's and starts work then thinks you should feel lucky that he 'helps', evidence of which I don't see at all.

Sit down with him and spell it out how he has to pick up more of the slack. This isn't fair in the slightest!

I did all the night feeds when I had 1 child and a SAHM. I have a long term illness and was in bits because my 3 month old only had 3 half hour naps a day and it was no where near enough for me to catch up. I was exhausted and had to get DH to come home from work a number of times because I kept losing it (not with DS, just breaking down).

Next one, DH did the night feeds and whilst he was tired at work, it meant that I was able to cope much better with 2 young children on my own all day. It worked for us.

Ignore Josephine. She's out to be purposely inflammatory. I'm not engaging.

DH and I both work full time and he does more nights than me. Even on maternity leave he did quite a few nights. This was to help me cope. I think it's too much for one parent to be there for the baby 24 h/day. Of course, if one of us struggles, the other does more.

It's clearly possible to work and do half the night shifts, because that's what sm did, that's what I did etc etc.

So it would be possible for DH to do that.

But he's out three nights in a row, all of Sunday, and refusing to help OP at the end of her tether.

OP, when does your maternity leave finish? DH is going to have to step up then, surely, even if he continues to be an arse about doing it now. How will you manage the balance of things then, have you discussed it?

Oh God, this leaves a nasty taste! Why is it a bloody competition? We're fellow humans/women struggling on through our lives with or without kids! We ALL have our shit to deal with, no need to invalidate others just because theirs is different.

Because there is a particular group of women who think that now they've had children they are better than everyone else, have more rights and are generally more entitled than the rest of us. Oh, like the OP.

And yes, now I will fuck off as I've been advised to do because, frankly, I'm bored with it.

Josephine, who actually said that about child-free women??

I think the support for OP has probably come mainly from mothers because of the content of her post re babyhood. That doesn't negate you or your opinions unless you choose it to do so.

If you're a SAHM then, I think, YABU to expect the working parent to get up in the night unless you're ill and need a break

If you both work then he should help out

Evening,

Just a quick reminder of our talk guidelines. If you could think about them before you post, that would be grand.

MNHQ.

Whoops, first ever message deleting for me!

Lacking you need to read the thread. OP does all childcare, housework and runs her own business, DP works from home, does nothing else.