To think these childless women should mind their fucking business

[TheCrumpetQueen]

Warning - fuming.

Partner went out tonight for work, came home late, ds got up at 1am then 3am, I asked partner for help as he wouldn't stop crying.
He then turns to me and said he had been talking to some women who had said he shouldn't have to help at night as he works talk about sisterhood.
To say I was pissed off is an understatement and an argument ensued. He went and slept on the sofa.
Wibu to go and flick these women in the face along with P?

YouAreMy TBH, on MN if someone says child-free I assume they have DC but aren't with them, whereas childless clearly means they don't have any DC.
No need for the overly PC distinction is there? It just makes things unclear.

"Childfree" is usually used to mean someone who has chosen not to have children. I do tend to avoid "childless" because I don't much like the connotations, but I'm not sure "childfree" is much more appropriate here. We've no idea whether these women have made an active choice or not.

No need for the overly PC distinction is there?

MN is very PC.
which is better than the alternative.
so it should be applied consistently.

But in the context of this thread whether the women are childless by choice or not is irrelevant. They have no clue what it is like to do the majority (or all) of the childcare and be completely sleep deprived. Anyway it's the DH who's an arse. The women are just an excuse from him. If he really didn't think like that he wouldn't have listened to them.

TBH there isn't much difference between single or partner less either. But split hairs if you wish to.

Your DP has the wrong attitude but for those of you saying sleep when DC sleep, good for you...if you can do it. I just could not sleep in the daytime despite being incredibly exhausted. Eventually the sleep deprivation sent me to loonyville. My DH was very supportive from day one and even more so when it got to much.

have no clue what it is like to do the majority (or all) of the childcare and be completely sleep deprived.

of course you don't need to have children to see how hard it is for parents! you only have to look at the parents around you to see how tired they are. and getting up in the middle of the night sounds hard for anyone once, let alone every night, a number of times.

and there clearly in no one right solution because different parents find different things work for them.

the most telling thing about this thread is the OPs focus on some women who she thinks does not have children and her anger towards them rather than partner. there is a lot of mean sprit on this thread towards women who dont have children.

I thought I understood how hard sleep deprivation would be before having children, but with the best will in the world I just didn't! Agree the focus should be on the non-helping DH though.

YouAre, most posters have said "it's not these women, it's your DH" and I think OP acknowledged that too when she'd calmed down. Remember she posted at 7am after a seriously broken night.

CrumpetQueen, I very much doubt the women who apparently talked to your husband were childleess. People without children couldn't give a flying fuck about whether or not their co-workers get up at night when their babies cry. Believe me, I am one of them :P

What worked for me was i done the night feeds cause i was bf but he did the legwork coming up to bedtime.And he brought them to bed.That to me makes much more sense.Im a sahm and it is easier cause i can have a lazy day if i want to.Unfortunely people with jobs in the workplace dont have that option.