If that cat had AIBU...

[Greenandcabbagelooking]

AIBU to think it is perfectly okay to wind myself around the human's legs so she falls over. Then headbutt her whilst she's on the floor? I only wanted some food...

What would your pet be saying?

AIBU to expect humans to put the loo lid down when they've used it. I expect to be able jump in through the bathroom window and not go splash!

AIBU to refuse to eat own brand cat food and insist humans get me top of the range nosh. DHuman said I'd eat the cheap crap when I was hungry but unbeknown to her I've had a tasty meal from neighbour's bin.

AIBU to steal my Favourite Human Slave's slippers, roll over with them in my paws, and kick and bite them until the slippers end up with huge holes in them, while both DHSs are asleep?

WHAT IS REALLY SO UNREASONABLE ABOUT SCOFFING ALL MY FOOD AT A MILLION MILES AN HOUR AND THEN VOMITING IT UP IN MY BOWL before either of my younger siblings can eat anything? They should appreciate my recycled breakfast, no?

AIBU to sleep nicely on my own beanbag until approximately 30 seconds before the two Big Humans decide they want to go to bed, then go over and make myself comfortable on one of their laps?

AIBU to gently bite the Small Human on the head when he 'gives me a hug' AKA sits on me? Good job he's getting good at sneaking food to me during dinner.

Also, why have I constantly been called unreasonable for seven years for the simple act of stealing all my DHS's hairbands, scrunchies, etc, and hiding them round the house so she never finds them again? Why is DHS so mean that she tries to hide them from me in drawers and the like, when she knows I can find and nick them easily? Why won't she throw them down the stairs for me when I bring them to her, yowling loudly, at 3am?

AIBU to play 'startle'? She falls for it every time! I flinch & startle for nooooo good reason. I like to pretend I've seen a ghost behind her and stare and stare until she shits herself!

Can't believe she falls for it again and again.

And! If I want to drnk from the bathroom tap, I bloody well will. I don't care if she's just cleaned the bathroom. My paw prints are the best!

''Sad cat diary YouTube.... Please watch! ''

AIBU to think that these cats' stories are perfectly valid and understandable, and that I should report my Human Slaves to the RSPCA for roaring with laughter and making pointed comments about me while watching it? My brother, sister and I may run away from home, although we'll have to jump out of the window as we are under house arrest. That'll learn the bastards.

• Outraged Feline of Letchworth

AIBU unreasonable:

to race my human down our steep terraced stairs when she gets up, nearly causing her to fall downstairs umpteen times!

to come indoors, have a bite to eat & then no sooner has my human sat down to rattle the back door keys endlessly until she gets off her lazy arse to let me back out!

when my human is attempting to have a relaxing bath, to shit in my bathroom litter tray not once but three times!

To take at least 10 mins getting comfy on humans lap, then do a silent fart reeking of rancid tuna & then walk off leaving my human going green in the face!

AIBU to go out for a wander at 2.00 in the morning, then announce my return to my house by yelling repeatedly and loudly as I walk from the catflap across the lounge to the DH bedroom, thereby waking them up and making them think there's something wrong when they have to get up at 5.30 and go to something called "work"?

Ianbu to wind my people up by pretending to be a dog. Sitting on the doormat holding my leash in hopes of going for a carry (I don't walk on a leash of course, too undignified. It is just so my people don't escape). To cry at the door every time any of them leave, making the neighbors give dirty looks even though there are still people home to feed me.

IANBU to want to

Play fetch anytime of the day or night - sometimes this requires dropping my ball on the pillow at 4am and stabbing them gently in the eyeballs till they wake up.

AIBU to insist on sitting on the edge of the sink whenever she tries washing up? She can put an arm either side of me. It's not my fault she is short so she can't see over my head into the washing up bowl. I like looking through the window and if I see a bird my tail dips in the washing up water before flicking soap suds and water gently into her eyes. AINBU to then run around the house dripping water as I try to dry my tail. To be honest I'm not even sure it is my tail anyway, because I spend hours trying to catch it whilst balanced in dangerous places but it still follows me around.

AIBU to lose every single collar with annoying bell I've ever had put on me within 2 hours.How is a cat supposed to catch maim but bring back alive the lovely flappy squeaky baby creatures to play with?
Why do I get yelled at every time, they clearly have a great time trying to stop me playing with them at home.Iknow they appreciate the feathers and look at the fun they had ripping the kitchen to bits to get the rat that I brought home out from under the counters.Why were they not proud the day I brought home a horseshoe bat,they are endangered, and bloody hard to catch surprisingly fragile though.That will learn them for thinking I'm a girl cat and giving me a girls name when I m a massive ADHD Tom.

AIBU to use my owner's prosthetic leg as a means to access the comfy sofa now I'm no longer spry enough to jump up.

He does pull a funny face and say some strange words when I misjudge it and reach higher than where his false leg ends.

AIBU to think the weather is different out the front door than it is out the back door? Yet when i come running back in from the rain I get told i'm a stupid cat!

sandicat I recommend bringing home a couple of live magpies and letting them loose in the living room. My owner though I was being VU to present them with such magnificent gifts. They were equally ungrateful about the squirrel I left on the patio. Talk about a kick in the teeth, that bad boy was very tricky to catch.

I presented them with a plucked bird, but were they grateful? Not a bit of it. Took me ages to get all the feathers out and then she buried the bird in the garden and moaned about having to pick feathers up for days. All that hard work and I didn't even get to eat it.

I was going to get a cat. I'm not now.

Stupid cat:
AIBU to get cross when DH wont let me eat my brothers food even though I really really want too. I've only gained the exactly the same amount of weight as he's lost over the past year which has turned me into a very fat cat. Plus I bring food home DH just never appreciated the caterpillars and eggs I drag through the catflap looking pleased.

Oh yeah and AIBU to attack mini DH and look totally shocked when i get hissed at?

Hunty cat:
AIBU to let my brother eat my food because actually I'd prefer to eat small rabbits, other rodents etc and leave parts around for mini DH to tread on before DH has her glasses on and notices.
AIBU to let mini DH play with me when she can't tell me apart from stupid cat which leads to arguments and tears.

I do love them but Stupid cat is very very stupid.

AIBU to think that my humans shouldn't cuddle each other even if I was asleep at the time and that it's perfectly within my right to interrupt them by miaowing at them and climbing all over them.

I'm also sure that I'm not being unreasonable by going to sleep half way up the bed - if I can curl up to go to sleep then surely the squidgy food provider can too. I am definitely not unreasonable to be put out when she tries to move me so she can sleep in her terribly space inefficient manner.

While I'm at it, AIBU to think that they should know that I wanted the chicken five seconds ago and to complain that they have not warped the space time continuum in order to furnish me with the chicken before I knew it existed?

BTW you with all love - it sums up how terrible it is being a cat nicely.

AIBU to want to scratch the fuck out the of the squidgy human's squidgy bits? She keeps saying something about needing to look pretty in a posh frock for the non squidgy human's work party but I'm only trying to make her produce milk.

AIBU to think my human slave should be delighted that I like her new bathroom as much as she does and that some humans would actually APPRECIATE a furry bath instead of moaning about it?

And while I'm on the subject, it's very hurtful that she pushes me away and says eurgh pack it in flipcat when I show my appreciation by wrapping myself round her legs after she's just completed that weird standing under running water thing she does in the mornings.
By the way what's up with that? Hasn't she got a perfectly good tongue? Humans are weird.

Am I being unreasonable not to be fooled by being given the sports section of the Saturday and Sunday newspapers as a diversion from curling up and sleeping on the arts reviews section?

And as so many of you have said, it's perfectly reasonable to check if the weather is different at the front door.