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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If that cat had AIBU...

181 replies

Greenandcabbagelooking · 06/11/2013 12:03

AIBU to think it is perfectly okay to wind myself around the human's legs so she falls over. Then headbutt her whilst she's on the floor? I only wanted some food...

What would your pet be saying?

OP posts:
Mignonette · 06/11/2013 15:02

AIBU to think that it is okay to drop dead on a waste ground near my home leaving my owners still consumed with thoughts as to what happened to me a year later?

AIBU to leave such a big sad hole in their lives?

Sad
AutumnStar · 06/11/2013 15:02

Autumncat1: Am I being unreasonable to SHRIEK the house down when that horrible irritating rat thing keeps jumping on my head?

Autumncat2: AIBU to expect my mum to turn off the rain so I can go outside?

Autumncat3: AIBU to jump on the old cat's head, bite and scratch any hands within a five metrw radius, tip the humans' whole box of organic porridge into my bowl (didn't want it, it's crap and has no mice in), steal belts and growl when selfish humans want them back, tip a whole cup of tea into human's lap, steal whole unopened pouches and take them under the sofa to rip open, steal tiast, eat crisps...ooh....a fly... < wanders off>

YouTheCat · 06/11/2013 15:04

Aw Mig Sad

AutumnStar · 06/11/2013 15:04

Toast. Metres. Autumncat3 has a short attention span Grin.

Mignonette, so sorry Thanks

SecretWitch · 06/11/2013 15:06

Mignonette, YABU. Leaving your human parents to mourn is horrible. Their hearts hurt when you are gone. Flowers

woozlebear · 06/11/2013 15:06

AIBU to think that my slaves are horrid and controlling because ever since I chose them at the rescue shelter and went to live in their house, they have fed me diet food?

  1. It's boring and I want Whiskas. Or even better fish. Aaaaaaall the time. The slaves eat all different yummy smelling stuff. It's not fair
  2. They should love me for who I am and not try to change the way I look. They say it's for my health and I am overweight, and the vet says so, but I think it's none of their business.
  3. It comes in horrid sachets that say Obesity Management on them. It's so demeaning!!! Imagine if my neighbours saw that in the recycling bin? The shame!
LegoAcupuncture · 06/11/2013 15:07

AIBU to think that my human isn't properly trained? I give her the death stare, the puppy dog eyes and sigh loudly, yet she will not give me the food she is eating.

Mignonette · 06/11/2013 15:07

I have kind of dragged things down a bit haven't I?

Sorry. I will post some happier ones -

AIBU to bite my owners toe if she dares to occupy more than 1/8th of space in her own bed?

AIBU to cost my owners £128 because I had a fight under a car with a cat that was there first?

AIBU to hack up foamy lumps of grass down the side of a stair rod meaning i had to dismantle the stair carpet to scrape off the dreck?

AIBU to keep my owner awake most of the night because evidently I was a stray from some other time zone. Australia maybe?

ChocolateMoosey · 06/11/2013 15:09

Thanks for Mig.

Mignonette · 06/11/2013 15:10

Thank you all for the flowers. It is coming up to a year on the 13th and it hasn't really abated, the missing him.

woozlebear · 06/11/2013 15:13

Mig YABVU. I know they're usually a bit stupid and useless, but they do love us. It will be sad.

FairPhyllis · 06/11/2013 15:14

AIBU to saunter into the kitchen and slooooowly flop on my side in the centre of the floor whenever anybody is trying to do anything in there?

AIBU to rip the flyscreens to shreds to signal that I want to go out?

Kerosene · 06/11/2013 15:21

I know I'm not being unreasonable, but I'd appreciate any advice or experience you can share. My "D"Humans have taken away my favourite scratching place. It's just outside the bedroom door, about a foot away from DH2's head, and there's nowhere in the house like it for scratching and practicing my yowling at 4:15 in the morning. I know it's just a bit of carpet and I could use my scratching pad (which would allow me the extra benefit of annoying my sister) but my routine is very important to me! I've stopped banging my treatball against DH3's door at all hours, but they won't compromise.

I don't want to go on or drip-feed, but it's just the latest in a long line of disappointments - they don't understand that I need to be fed prime steak, line-caught salmon, or organic chicken 807 times a day, and they just don't accept that the only comfortable place to lie down after a long evening of petting is across their book, keyboard or tablet. What can I do?!

(Thanks for Mig - it's coming up on a year since my old Madam left us, and I still miss her terribly)

TSSDNCOP · 06/11/2013 15:23

Day 10 of enforced incarceration at this cattery with heated beds and three meals a day picked from a menu list by DH barbaric detention centre.

All my freedoms attacking local wildlife and leaving their remains strewn around mini DH bedroom carpet, lying prostrate on man DH's sofa, licking the meat juices out of the Sunday roast pan and being lavishly sick withdrawn whist they have a holiday from me waking them at 4am

AIBU to be bitter? AI!?!?!

They think they are so clever with their opposable thumbs and behind leg way of getting about.

Well, just wait til they realise what I've spent these past 10 days planning

MWAHHAAAAAHAHA!!!

AtticusMcPlatypus · 06/11/2013 15:23

AIBU to expect to be fed at least eight times a day? And then because perhaps I have been a little bit too greedy - their fault, they didn't have to put the food down, although my staged pathetic, pitiful meowing probably did piss them off a bit - then barfing up mid-run all over the cream sitting room carpet because they chased me outside to vom?

Or when I brought home a live bat to show how clever I am at hunting? Its not just any old feline that has the supreme skill of being able to catch a flying rodent. They should be proud that I am that skillful.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 06/11/2013 15:24

AIBU to think that when my slaves buy tins of food with a picture of a fish on it, obviously that food is for me?

They keep getting something they call 'tuna', and eating it themselves. And if I try to swipe it they take me out of the room - the cheek!

Also, they have a friend who has very plump legs. I like to sit on him, but once again they move me and keep talking about something called allergies - no idea why, I'm sure that isn't something I have. AIBU to think this human obviously comes round so I can use him as a seat? I think my DHs are just jealous that they don't get to sit on the plump-legged one.

woozlebear · 06/11/2013 15:25

AIBU to continually get up on the conservatory roof, even though I know I can't get down from it cos I'm the least agile cat ever? And then get stuck there and expect them to open a window to let me in? AIBU to think they should NEVER leave the house, but permanently be on standby for window rescue?

AIBU to continually do this even when I know they're out, and I get stuck up there, get in a fight on said roof and have to jump off it and land so badly that it hospitalises me for a week and costs £3000 to mend me? Apparently it really worried them Confused. They're so self absorbed.

Cleorapter · 06/11/2013 15:30

AIBU to wave my bumtail in the slaves face whenever she tries to do anything sitting down?

AIBU to use my slaves leg as a climbing post? I don't understand why she screams when I dig my claws in! Stupid human.

AIBU to get under her feet whenever she walks anywhere I know she really likes it. It's her own fault anyway, she should give me attention!

YouTheCat · 06/11/2013 15:31

This is the future

ohcluttergotme · 06/11/2013 15:34

AIBU to think that the least my humans could do would be to think of me and me only. I had kittens and I am outraged that they kept 2 who are 2 big brutes now.
I carried them ,raised them, did my job and very well too I think for a little girl and then I was overjoyed they were going one by one but no my inconsiderate humans decided to keep 2! Why oh why.
The stupid boys need to go Hmm

Mignonette · 06/11/2013 15:37

AIBU to be so cute?

The copy of the DM is for me to shit on.

blizy · 06/11/2013 15:43

AIBU by giving my human an invigorating massage, by using my claws it gets her blood flowing. The ungrateful cow shouts and pushes me away.
Also is it so unreasonable of me to sleep between the humans legs at night? I mean all she has to do is lie still so she doesn't disturb me, I really don't ask for much do I?

LadyEnglefield · 06/11/2013 15:51

AIBU to follow my humans every time they go out?

To run up the road ducking and diving under cars and into neighbouring front gardens whilst humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

To dash into the main road without looking, frightening the life out of the learner driver who had to slam on the brakes to miss me by a whisker. Giving my human a near heart attack at the thought of me being squished in front of the two mini humans.

Then to walk off very insouciantly with my tail in the air as if nothing had happened!

PresidentServalan · 06/11/2013 15:59

AIBU to make sure my DOwner wakes up at 2.00 am by sticking my claws gently in her eyes? I am awake at that time of the morning so surely she wants to spend quality time with me? Grin Grin

ohfourfoxache · 06/11/2013 16:01

(((((hugs))))) and Brew for Mig - they can be little buggers but they've just part of the family.

Your post has just reminded me of another one....

AIBU to be sick down the back of the only radiator in the house that my DHuman's can't remove without having to re-plaster the wall? And WIBU to sit staring and meowing at them for not paying me enough attention whilst they are doing a contortionist act to try to clean up after me?