Men looking at my 13year old daughter

[marmitenot]

I went out with my 13 yr old dd yesterday and a couple of her friends. My daughter, although very pretty (doesn't get it from me!), is clearly a young teen and yet men (old and young) were leering over her and distinctly 'checking her out'.

The looks they were giving my daughter made me extremely uncomfortable and really cross.

AIBU to expect men to control themselves around children?

I know what leering means kiri, but as the OP didn't describe how these men were all leering at her DD then I wondered exactly what it was they were doing.

How did she know they were thinking about her DD like that and not about the footy?

strike my superfluous "at"

Not being unreasonable. If a man's close enough to straight to poke it with a stick then yes, looking's a pure spinal reflex. Looking long enough to make the lookee uncomfortable is extremely bad form, however.

Well Im glad to see we have moved on since dragging our knuckles and killing the offspring of other males.

ug ug.

I'm sorry but are all those saying that all men look okay with the fact that their husband/partner/brother/dad would check out a child?

Coffeenow, to be fair, the concept of 'underage' is not really something that DNA is aware of. There was no 'age of consent' until the 19th century.

However, I hated this, and think the people doing it are vile (and I still think its pretty vile when they act like that to a 23 year old).

My daughter, although very pretty (doesn't get it from me!), is clearly a young teen and yet men (old and young) were leering over her and distinctly 'checking her out'.

From the OP.

My daughter is 5 foot tall, has not hit puberty and still looks like a child. She is clearly very young.

I was really shocked because the men were leering. they were looking at her in a sexual way ie not just her face but her body also.

I think most women know what sexual looking looks like and how uncomfortable it can feel like to be on the receiving end.

I had a taxi driver recently who spent the whole journey blatantly ogling the girls who were walking home from the local high school.

The best part is that he's married with teenage kids himself...

I wouldn't mind so much if these girls weren't in their school uniforms, because young teenage girls often look a lot older, but these girls were blatantly underage kids.

Perve.

I was large chest very early and yes men do look but the nudging and blatant leering were deeply unpleasant and uncomfortable to endure.

I never had the confidence to really deal with it all - though I'm sure my mother was throwing death glares round when/if she noticed. Unfortunately I'm not sure what you can do.

"Looking" and thinking oh he/she is very pretty/attractive and will look lovely when they re grown up is one thing.

Openly leering at an underage boy or girl is another.

Uggh, I know how you feel, I saw off several much older men trying to chat my daughter up when she was 15, and looked younger. One even decided I'd make a good go between in a bar/restaurant abroad at six in the evening ( "tell your friend I'll meet her here at xxx time") I practically chased him out of the place. All you can do is make sure she's knows what to do if they start bothering her, and how to keep herself safe. Sadly, some men are just total creeps.

Just take their photo,

and explain why (I love explaining it to them), It's grim when adult men eye up very young girls.

www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/incredible-photo-series-street-harassment

hellobeautiful.com/2013/10/18/city-of-brotherly-love-catcalling-men-hannah-price/

www.philly.com/philly/blogs/entertainment/Hannah-Price-photographs-cat-calling-on-the-streets-on-Philly.html

Hannah Price's project, City of Brotherly Love is a great way of dealing with it.

Did she notice it ? Maybe have a chat with her and give her some ideas on how to respond?

No bloke would nudge his mates and blatantly perv at a pre-pubescent child. They mustve been looking over innocently.

Yabu these men did not know your dd, tey might not know she was 13. Some 13/14 year olds look like tey are in their 20s. If they knew exactly how old she was and they were leering, than Yanbu at all. Unfortunately there will always be dirty old men. I was 14 and wearing an a line mini skirt and got hooted and woolf whistled by fireman going past in their erm big red fire engine.

I like looking at young girls they are lovely

badtime

That is true. But 13 is still quite young and based on OP's latest post her DD is pre pubescent so in this case probably not the reason for the leering.

Id say that humans are attracted to other humans (biologically speaking) that LOOK as though they are capable of bearing/producing children.

Of course men look, men look at anything female.
They judge the legs, the boobs, the face in a random order according to preference.

Then and only then do they remember they are all supposed to be pedophiles and try and work out if the woman is over sixteen.

DD1 has had a woman's figure since she was 12, unless she walks round in a sack men will eye her up.

Men probably notice DD2 too, in a gosh that's going to break hearts when it's older.

DD2 is now also 12, but she's shorter and has no real curves. Any man who actually fancies her is dodgy.

And in any case no way could I tell you if a girl or a boy was 14 or 19 unless they helpfully had a Y11 prefect or sixth form tie on.

Wow, where do you live with these hoards of sex crazed men who you know for sure are thinking about your DD in a sexual way??

Sounds dangerous.

And all of them preferring children over women, their wives/partners?

Unusual.

YANBU, I got this when age about 12 to 16, it is uncomfortable and not nice for your DD.

I realise some of them may not realise she is 'underage' and so think its ok.

And its a very dated & sexist idea that only men like to look, I like to look at handsome blokes too, if they are over about 22 (therefore unlikely to be underage/still children).

If I see a beautiful person, or a beautiful baby or a beautiful view.I would look.It is nothing sexual , it is just nice to look at beautiful things.

There's a good point though made by other posters and I will throw my tuppence worth in. When I was clearly an underage teen men would often flirt or get leering or grabby with me,it happened to most of the girls I knew at the time too.

If your dd clearly looks lie a child tan yanbu at all that's is grim. However I have a friend who is 37, who looks like how she did at school 14/15. Wsh I had her looks