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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Am I overreacting? (Porn related)

232 replies

Bumpkin2 · 17/10/2013 20:55

I found the search history of what my OH has been youtubing a couple of days ago and was pretty horrified by what I found, but I'm really not sure if I'm over reacting or not so need some impartial advice!

There were lots along the lines of "sexy teen erotic dancing" I'm not overly happy at the thought of him looking up porn, but it's the teen part that's really bothering me. He's nearly 40 and I just find that disturbing. He'd have been looking it up in the middle of the night, probably while I was in the middle of a night feed (9 month baby) and that bothers me too for some reason.

He knows I've found it but as DD was ill we've not spoken any more than that. I was actually looking up an episode of Postman Pat to comfort her when I found it!

Whenever I talk to him about anything he's doing at the moment he says I'm over reacting and I think I've lost confidence in my own opinions. I don't know if I'm being too sensitive.

I know the opinion of porn in relationships varies greatly, but it's really the teen part that I'm wondering about here. I've only seen the youtube history so not sure what else he's been looking up but I can only presume it's along the same lines.

Thanks

OP posts:
LondonMan · 18/10/2013 21:13

This reply has been deleted

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lottieandmia · 18/10/2013 22:27

Oh, yeah right London man - all women over the age of 30 are ugly Hmm

ScaryFucker · 18/10/2013 22:31

Sometimes one gets a peek into a murky world, one that is out there whether you like it or not.

This thread is an example of that. Shudder.

Grown men sharing their fantasies about teenage girls. On a parenting website.

Grennie · 18/10/2013 22:32

LondonMan - 15?? You think that is acceptable?

Grennie · 18/10/2013 22:33

Yep scary, it is indeed scary. And these men think there is nothing wrong with it, and all men are like that. They are wrong on both counts.

curlew · 18/10/2013 22:36

OP- if nothing else, this thread must show you that you are not over reacting. I'm sorry.

ScaryFucker · 18/10/2013 22:36

They feel comfortable sharing it though, don't they

It's obviously acceptable in our society or they wouldn't be all over websites like this telling us how they love to wank over 15yo's

LondonMan, you might want to reset your share filter...it's embarassing for you. Quite soon, it may get you into actual trouble.

Grennie · 18/10/2013 22:38

Yes, sadly I think it is acceptable. Just makes me think how many times I have heard over the Jimmy Salville and other celebrity scandals - things were different then Hmm

I don't think they are actually. Plenty of men still think it is fine to perv and wank about teenage girls.

MissBeehiving · 18/10/2013 22:42

LondonMan - the fact you find 15 year old girls attractive is really vile.

ScaryFucker · 18/10/2013 22:49

Don't put this on your FB wall, LondonMan, you might find your social invites wither away somewhat.

Do you have friends with teenage daughters, btw ? You discuss this down the pub with them. "Hey, Dave, your 15yo daughter looks proppa fuckable to me, I spank myself at the thought of her. OK with you, mate ? Your round is it ?"

ColderThanAWitchsTitty · 18/10/2013 23:11

Is it the school uniform that does it for you, have yiu ot cchildren yourself

ScaryFucker · 18/10/2013 23:14

You porn apologist women ? These are the kind of blokes you align yourself with.

Good luck with that.

DidyouseeEthel · 18/10/2013 23:22

LondonMan - 'I believe most men are the same'. Isn't that Boy George's view on homosexuality? Do you see how bizarre that thought process is?

ScaryFucker · 18/10/2013 23:23

It was Jimmy Savile's viewpoint too. He said all men would do what he did, except most men didn't get the chance.

ScaryFucker · 18/10/2013 23:24

LondonMan, are you a Savile supporter ?

DownstairsMixUp · 18/10/2013 23:37

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

digerd · 19/10/2013 06:41

I was a teenager in the 60s and I did get older men perving over me - exposing themselves, wanking behind a newspaper on the tube or under a bowler hat on his lapGrin. And other things. As soon as I was over 18 it stopped.
I realised then that a young teenage girl was like a magnet for some 'dirty old men' and wondered why.

digerd · 19/10/2013 06:51

Oh, just remembered the man in a bushy handlebar moustache, stroking it and almost salivating when chatting me up at the bus stop alone in Holland Parrk Road. I was actually 15. He asked if I would like to take a ride in his car as he would love to teach me a thing ot two.
I was very savvy and thought he was pathetic. My bus came along and I remember chuckling to myself most of the way home. It was my sweetness he was attracted to he said. Didn't touch me though.

lottieandmia · 19/10/2013 08:29

'I believe most men are the same' is usually what a man says when he's trying to justify something unacceptable.

lottieandmia · 19/10/2013 08:34

I really don't believe that most men find 15 year old girls attractive. But the fact that some do makes me worry even more for my dds. The older two are approaching teenage years and it's vomit inducing to think that they will soon be seen by some perverts as fair game to leer at.

JeanSeberg · 19/10/2013 08:46

I've reported that post.

curlew · 19/10/2013 08:47

An even if "most men" do find 15 year old girls attractive - and let's face it, they are bloody gorgeous!-the mere suggestion that it's OK to act on this in any way at all, even vicariously, is utterly outrageous.

DownstairsMixUp · 19/10/2013 08:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

48th · 19/10/2013 09:00

Exactly even when lovely they are not sexual. I would be more alarmed by a man searching on teens and getting off on that rather than one viewing porn although my dh does neither. Watching porn whilst I breasted yeah I would be impressed. Watching teens and finding it arousing I would be leaving. I hope you can at least talk about this and find out what was in his mind.

48th · 19/10/2013 09:02

Exactly even when lovely they are not sexual. I would be more alarmed by a man searching on teens and getting off on that rather than one viewing porn although my dh does neither. Watching porn whilst I breasted yeah I would be impressed. Watching teens and finding it arousing I would be leaving. I hope you can at least talk about this and find out what was in his mind.