WORST customer care ever - Am I being unreasonable?

[dollybird1000]

Hello fellow MumsNetters,

I rarely post on her but I have experienced the most most outrageous customer care from a cafe. I'm still in disbelief.

Bear with me - its a long one -

Scenario:
So I regularly visited X cafe as lovely coffee/food and quiet ( so you'd think they would want to keep customers ) either just before I collect my 3yr daughter or after I drop her at nursery school.

So I would imagine I have spent at least £100 in there since the beginning of Term. Visting 2 to 3 times a week.

Yesterday I collected my daughter and 3 year olds being as they are .. as we got to the top of the road - near the cafe - she announced she needed a wee and was desperate.

I thought - no worries " quick we will just nip in my fav cafe and you can go and then maybe we will stay for a treat "

I went into the cafe and just happened to say " oo do you mind if she quickly nips to the toilet"

For the sake of clarity - I will be DD and the cafe BH:

The member of Staff I asked turned and said bluntly
BH: " No you have to be a customer"

DD: " But I am a customer , I come here regularly .. pls can she just go to the toilet shes desperate"

BH: " Well you will have to buy something then "

DD: " Are you serious ?"

BH: " Yes you have to buy something the toilet is only for customers now " again - NO sorry our any notion of understanding..

DD: " Are you telling me my 3 year old cannot use the toilet .. really ??.. I think your attitude is disgusting, I am shocked .. I am a customer.... er"

By the time I had to leave as my daughter HAD to go. I left saying

DD: " I want to speak to the manager"

BH: " Hes not here, he will be in the morning"

DD: " I am totally disgusted by your attitude and I will be back to complain"

BH : " you do that "

The staff was rude, blunt and totally got my back up - I was so so so angry on behalf of my daughter.

I had to take her out to wee on the street ( which is ok as Im not uptight about those things ) and would have just done that in the first place.

SO I went back this morning and spoke to the manager. I AM ASTOUNDED this place has ANY customers still- really-

me DD: " Hi , Im sure you have heard about an incident that happened yesterday regarding my daughter needing to use the toilet quickly - and the response I got and gave "

BH Manger : Bluntly " Its not a public toilet and yes I heard about it "

DD : shocked " um seriously you treat your cutomers like this ? Also this lady was quite rude in her mannner .. instead of saying " im really sorry my manager has told us strictly we cant allow non-current customers to use the toilet "

BH Manager : " well apparently YOU were rude and aggressive "

DD: " Yes I said the attitude was disgusting as I was furious , and your member of staffs manner was so abrasive "

BH Manager : " well its your word against hers "

DD: " I cant believe it, well you have definitely lost a customer "

Where upon the Manager just shrugged..

I am SO shocked. I have never in my life experienced such appalling attitudes towards customers or children.

If they had a sign up stating toilets for customers only OR if I kept going in after school and letting my daughter use the toilet and not buying anything OR if I had never been/use the cafe. Or if it was for me.. not a 3 year old.
I might ( might ) feel differently.

I am also very sad as I loved going there and was planning to take my mum there today to show how fab I thought it was.

I would also like to add - they only take cash , I had none on me but had planned to go to a cash point and return for a treat... although the staff did not know this.

I am posting on here for many reasons :

1. Am I going mad ? Was I wrong to think I could nip in for my daughter to use the toilet??
2. Has anyone else experienced this in cafes - and how did you feel ??

Comments / Replys Please .. !!

But if she was that regular a customer they'd have recognised her. I suspect 'regular' means 'been three times'

TamsB
I live very close to the cafe in question and trust me, it isn't hard for independent shops to survive around there!
Not for nothing is the area called 'Nappy Valley' - there was until very recently a cafe that just sold eggs and soldiers, called appropriately, Egg and Soldiers...

Sallyingforth there are many other cafes the op can go to, I would say to the staff of the offending cafe was it worth it?

Why would you risk losing a regular customer over this?

But the OP didn't need to make a fuss over it. She could have just gone in, taken her DD to the toilet then bought something. If she didn't have cash she could have just told the person behind the counter she was nipping to the cash machine. Why make a big thing over it?

You have posted the same 'name & shame' moan across various other sites/forums, it appears, each time adding the cafe's name & link.

Are you trying to get sued for libel?

I have on occasion with and without child popped into a busy Macdonald s to use the loo and even there bought a coffee and a doughnut or similar which I might or might not eat.Have made sure DS knows that's the rule too no matter what the restaurant.

Surely the unspoken rule is cafes know this happens but loo paper, cleaners etc cost money so at least buy a coffee and a cake.
In proper non macds cafes I've often placed my order then ran to the loo

I'm also calling 'Bullshit' on the 'oh we would just have popped to the cashpoint nextdoor for her treat' because there isn't a cashpoint nextdoor
The closest ones would have been either in the station (with public loos) or opposite the big doctors surgery (with public loos)

The issue here is much less about the cafe's response (yes, it would have been nice for them to let a little girl use the loo) but the OP's ludicrous & obviously vindictive response.

She's posted twice - the first time naming them and posting their website. She also said, in her first post, that she was going to tell everyone (including staff) at her child's nursery to avoid the place - and now it seems that she's posting the same diatribe all over the internet.

Is she being unreasonable? Fuck yes.

Nobody is entitled to assume that they can use a cafe's toilets unless they are actually customers - which, on this occasion, she was not. Sure, it would be nice if they'd let her - a kindness even, but they certainly didn't have to. Her response is pathetic & completely unwarranted.

I cant believe anybody would be so mean as not let a THREE year old use a toilet!

Seriously, that's just bizarre and so unkind.

wink1970 I thought these forums were supposed to be for people to share their experiences and opinions, why would the op be sued for libel?

I's just make sure I never went in the place again.

Agree with oliver.

Your thread was deleted by MN for breaking their talk guidelines however you may remember I emailed the cafe in question with a link to the thread asking for their comments so perhaps you would like to stop this one as well?

FYI I have not received a reply however MN may.

If the café is the one mentioned by OP on Nappy Valley why does the café have a picture of toilet sign saying "ask and you shall receive" on their twitter account?!

LifeofPo - if I get caught short in the west end, I just march into a five star hotel. The Ritz, Claridges, The Lanesborough, Savoy....I've peed in them all.

Never been stopped. The Savoy is great as they have a separate hair/make up area.

This is strongly reminiscent of the milk thread. My ha'penn'orth:

(1) the cafe's attitude was understandable, if annoying for you.
(2) going by your account in the OP you didn't handle the verbal exchange (on either occasion) at all well. Why not calmly explain 'I take your point, but I'm a regular, and she's desperate. She can't wait for me to buy something. I'll take her and then buy something' Or just hand the guy a fiver and say 'I'll be back to place my order'.
(3) it's irritating, but come on, it's not that big a deal. Why are your posts written in terms of apocalyptic rage?

YANBU and I don't really understand the vitriol on the thread. I once went to a cafe, ordered something to take away, and they tried to stop me using the toilet on the basis it was for customers eating in only!

If it's a small independent cafe it's staff and manager are total idiots.

Many of our small cafes and sweet shops etc get much of their trade from mums and young DCs. I'd have thought it very stupid to annoy them. They pass round FB, school gate and NCT coffee mornings all family unfriendliness moans.

I'm avoiding a shop for messing DD1 about for a work experience and I avoid mrs grumpy's card shop.

Edge of town pub that decided to become a child free bistro, went broke very quickly. Next owners put in a play area

If the thread was "Was this cafe unreasonable for not letting my 3 year old use the toilet" the answer would probably have been "Yes" (although with a proviso that they don't HAVE to).

But it's not...it's "Am I being unreasonable" to rant hysterically about it, tell everyone I can think of not to use it ever again and post the same stuff all over the internet about the minor and include links to their website.

Er...yes. YABU. And I'm astonished anyone thinks otherwise

Also why is everyone getting hoity toity about the OP naming the cafe? How many times have MNers launched a campaign against retailers to defend wrong customers rights? There have been numerous threads like this before where posters have tweeted the company in question en masse to try to get a complaint resolved. You may not agree that the cafe was unreasonable but the principle is the same.

*about the minor incident

Sorry.

Hi TamsB, I was probably being a little facetious! It's vindictive and immature, but not actually libellous.

The OP is entitled to her opinion, but she's named the café across various sites and not given it the chance of redress. At least on something like TripAdvisor, a review that could damage a business's reputation can be addressed by the business owner.

The OP's multi-posting behaviour looks so much like someone with a vendetta, I actually wonder whether she is a sacked ex-employee making a story up (after all, in theory a story about a child should attract the attention of MN and similar sites & potential boycotting)....

Geez sparechange, pedantic much? This is a nasty, nasty thread, and not because of the OP.

They were being a bit mean by not letting your daughter use the toilet. You were being unreasonable in kicking off about it. You were also being a bit deluded in thinking they would know who you were.

Personally it would not even occur to me to go into a cafe to use the toilet without buying something. Except the one in BHS which is fair game