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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WORST customer care ever - Am I being unreasonable?

334 replies

dollybird1000 · 16/10/2013 11:50

Hello fellow MumsNetters,

I rarely post on her but I have experienced the most most outrageous customer care from a cafe. I'm still in disbelief.

Bear with me - its a long one -

Scenario:
So I regularly visited X cafe as lovely coffee/food and quiet ( so you'd think they would want to keep customers ) either just before I collect my 3yr daughter or after I drop her at nursery school.

So I would imagine I have spent at least £100 in there since the beginning of Term. Visting 2 to 3 times a week.

Yesterday I collected my daughter and 3 year olds being as they are .. as we got to the top of the road - near the cafe - she announced she needed a wee and was desperate.

I thought - no worries " quick we will just nip in my fav cafe and you can go and then maybe we will stay for a treat "

I went into the cafe and just happened to say " oo do you mind if she quickly nips to the toilet"

For the sake of clarity - I will be DD and the cafe BH:

The member of Staff I asked turned and said bluntly
BH: " No you have to be a customer"

DD: " But I am a customer , I come here regularly .. pls can she just go to the toilet shes desperate"

BH: " Well you will have to buy something then "

DD: " Are you serious ?"

BH: " Yes you have to buy something the toilet is only for customers now " again - NO sorry our any notion of understanding..

DD: " Are you telling me my 3 year old cannot use the toilet .. really ??.. I think your attitude is disgusting, I am shocked .. I am a customer.... er"

By the time I had to leave as my daughter HAD to go. I left saying

DD: " I want to speak to the manager"

BH: " Hes not here, he will be in the morning"

DD: " I am totally disgusted by your attitude and I will be back to complain"

BH : " you do that "

The staff was rude, blunt and totally got my back up - I was so so so angry on behalf of my daughter.

I had to take her out to wee on the street ( which is ok as Im not uptight about those things ) and would have just done that in the first place.

SO I went back this morning and spoke to the manager. I AM ASTOUNDED this place has ANY customers still- really-

me DD: " Hi , Im sure you have heard about an incident that happened yesterday regarding my daughter needing to use the toilet quickly - and the response I got and gave "

BH Manger : Bluntly " Its not a public toilet and yes I heard about it "

DD : shocked " um seriously you treat your cutomers like this ? Also this lady was quite rude in her mannner .. instead of saying " im really sorry my manager has told us strictly we cant allow non-current customers to use the toilet "

BH Manager : " well apparently YOU were rude and aggressive "

DD: " Yes I said the attitude was disgusting as I was furious , and your member of staffs manner was so abrasive "

BH Manager : " well its your word against hers "

DD: " I cant believe it, well you have definitely lost a customer "

Where upon the Manager just shrugged..

I am SO shocked. I have never in my life experienced such appalling attitudes towards customers or children.

If they had a sign up stating toilets for customers only OR if I kept going in after school and letting my daughter use the toilet and not buying anything OR if I had never been/use the cafe. Or if it was for me.. not a 3 year old.
I might ( might ) feel differently.

I am also very sad as I loved going there and was planning to take my mum there today to show how fab I thought it was.

I would also like to add - they only take cash , I had none on me but had planned to go to a cash point and return for a treat... although the staff did not know this.

I am posting on here for many reasons :

  1. Am I going mad ? Was I wrong to think I could nip in for my daughter to use the toilet??
  2. Has anyone else experienced this in cafes - and how did you feel ??

Comments / Replys Please .. !!

OP posts:
RunFatGirlRun · 16/10/2013 12:02

What?! Take a hint, OP!

Hmm
LateForMyOwnLife · 16/10/2013 12:02

YA Still BU!

CoffeeTea103 · 16/10/2013 12:02

Yabvu and kind of arrogant posting this again. Go away

pianodoodle · 16/10/2013 12:03

I think if the staff didn't know you were planning to come back in and buy something you should have made them aware as it might have made the difference.

If I'd recognised a regular customer I'd have said yes but maybe they didn't recognise you.

RunFatGirlRun · 16/10/2013 12:03

moondog that is VAY infuriating Brew

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 16/10/2013 12:03

I don't think the policy unreasonable, tho' not sure why they didn't have a sign or make an exemption for a regular or a child.

They sounded very rude.

RevelsRoulette · 16/10/2013 12:03

So you say ok, I'll have this and that, just nip to the loo and then when you come back, say oh, sorry, I've not got cash, I forgot you don't take cards, hang on a mo and I'll just nip to the cash machine.

Then come back and have that treat you said you were thinking of having anyway.

There's a way round everything. You didn't need to get into a stand up row about it.

A general question about insurance. Are businesses covered for letting the general public use the facilities or does it limit them to customers?

TiddlerTiddler · 16/10/2013 12:04

Leaving aside the nastiness/bluntnesss of the verbal interaction between the cafe staff and the OP, I still think its a bit mean of a cafe to turn away a 3 year old child who needs the loo.

The OP is a regular customer and if the cafe had any sense they should have allowed her to use the facilities based on that fact.

The end result is that they kept their facilities free as they wished and she is no longer a customer. Their loss overall I think.

Feminine · 16/10/2013 12:04

My opinion.

I think I can see why you are upset.

You were made to feel at home and welcome on previous visits. During your visits you got the impression that they knew you and your DD, that they liked having you there?

I suspect you imagined they would remember you...from your many happy times.

you were shocked though, weren't you? they didn't :( therefore removing all cosy and welcome feelings?

it stung.

its hard to find a place where you like to visit with kids-I get that!

I'd let it go now.

I believe you have been hurt more than anything. Your reaction and your posting style seems to stem from more than just a rant!

Try somewhere new. :)

PoppadomPreach · 16/10/2013 12:05

Cafés are not public toilets.

Whe I am in a cafe, with children or by myself, I do not want a constant stream of members of the public coming in to use the facilities.

The way your post is written, you sound demanding and patronising,like the "staff" we're somehow your staff, and you expected to be greeted with a fanfare of trumpets and people lying prostrate on the floor thanking you for deigning their cafe good enough for you to use.

Kids need wees in inconvenient places. We have to deal with this as parents. You are being unreasonable. Suggest humility lessons.

Original poster
dollybird1000 · 16/10/2013 12:05

?? .. Wheres the sense of community nowadays?? Not only the cafe but on HERE ?

But thank you at those that have given CONSTRUCTIVE crititiscm and for the others.. I know this lovely cafe you would all probably like.

I may rethink how I respond next time - like I said.

OP posts:
Beccagain · 16/10/2013 12:06

But if you had no cash why did you half promise your daughter that you might stay for a treat?

Nessalina · 16/10/2013 12:06

In my opinion YANBU. In small businesses if they do not consider their customers as king, then they will, eventually, fail.
Obviously the cafe is quite within its rights to refuse non-customers the use of its toilets, but if you are as regular there as you say you are then they should have recognised you, and the value of your custom, and let you use the loo. As a one off it's hardly going to bankrupt them!
They say that when people have good service they tell 1-2 people, but when you get bad service you tell 9-15. You've told way more (perhaps a little OTT to name and shame!), which is unusual, but every time a cafe/shop/bank CHOOSES to give bad service, that's the risk that they take.
I would be a pissed off as you and never go there again. But I work in customer service and am very passionate about it.

RunFatGirlRun · 16/10/2013 12:06

Just going out on a limb here OP but this 'lovely cafe' we'd all like - it's not by any chance nearby the notorious toilet offender and in need of some more custom? Grin

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 16/10/2013 12:07

well, yes, it wouldn't have hurt for them to let your DD use the loo but....they are in a park, they probably get all sorts come in, use the loo, probably make a right horrible mess and then bugger off. Yes, you happened to be a regular but you can't have one rule for one and one for the other.

If I had been in your shoes, I would have just bought the cheapest thing in there so DD could use the loo, job done.

On the whole YABU and over-reacting, the world does not revolve around us and our DC!

Buglugs · 16/10/2013 12:08

I do think it's unreasonable not to let a 3 year old use a toilet, and usually people do ime. And I don't know why they would treat a regular customer like this.

But you have also overreacted for some reason. They don't have to let you use their toilet. Just don't go there again.

LittleMissWise · 16/10/2013 12:10

YABU.

It isn't a public toilet and I don't think you had any intention of going to the cashpoint and coming back, tbh.

DidoTheDodo · 16/10/2013 12:11

YABU

From your post title I was expecting something really novel and awful -waiter stabbed me, I was left in a queue for four days, the burger had maggots in it and the staff laughed - that sort of thing.

This really doesn't seem too bad at all. You asked a favour, were denied and threw a wobbly.

Original poster
dollybird1000 · 16/10/2013 12:11

@ Beccaagain because - she would wee - we would go to the cash point a few doors down - return for a treat. She couldnt wait for me to go there first and I didnt have time to explain my intentions to return.

OP posts:
Beccagain · 16/10/2013 12:12

Just don't go there again.

If the conversation happened exactly as Dollybird relates she may find she doesn't have that option anyway.

FTR I think the staff memeber was probably being a little over cautious but your reaction seems a bit out there.

treaclesoda · 16/10/2013 12:13

I must be really uptight then, because tellung a child its fine to wee in the street disgusts me far more than the cafe telling you that you couldn't use their loo.

OneStepCloser · 16/10/2013 12:14

YANBU, (I didnt see the other thread) its just mean spirited not too allow a child to use a toilet, and I wouldnt eat/drink there again.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 16/10/2013 12:14

I What RevelsRou said.

Hmm...

Imteresting...

Are you who I think you are?

PeteCampbellsRecedingHairline · 16/10/2013 12:14

You were both unreasonable.

"Can my daughter use the loo?"
"Sorry, You have to be a customer."
"Ok, please can we have blah,blah,blah and I'll her take her to the loo."

Problem solved surely?!

ScrambledSmegs · 16/10/2013 12:15

Yes, you were BU. I think maybe the stress of a toddler doing the 'I need a wee NOW' dance got to you, and you came across as abrasive in the cafe. If you really like that cafe and want to go back I would honestly apologise. Not in an NHS 'I'm sorry you felt' way, but a genuine one.

It isn't a cafe's job to be a public toilet. If we ever have a situation like this (also have a 3yo with immediate wee issues) I am grateful if we are allowed to use a toilet, and will always buy something. But I never EXPECT to be allowed to use a toilet that is exclusively for the use of customers. I get that you were probably more hurt and disappointed because you felt like you knew them and were friendly, but it is a business first and foremost and they have their rules for good reason.