WORST customer care ever - Am I being unreasonable?

[dollybird1000]

Hello fellow MumsNetters,

I rarely post on her but I have experienced the most most outrageous customer care from a cafe. I'm still in disbelief.

Bear with me - its a long one -

Scenario:
So I regularly visited X cafe as lovely coffee/food and quiet ( so you'd think they would want to keep customers ) either just before I collect my 3yr daughter or after I drop her at nursery school.

So I would imagine I have spent at least £100 in there since the beginning of Term. Visting 2 to 3 times a week.

Yesterday I collected my daughter and 3 year olds being as they are .. as we got to the top of the road - near the cafe - she announced she needed a wee and was desperate.

I thought - no worries " quick we will just nip in my fav cafe and you can go and then maybe we will stay for a treat "

I went into the cafe and just happened to say " oo do you mind if she quickly nips to the toilet"

For the sake of clarity - I will be DD and the cafe BH:

The member of Staff I asked turned and said bluntly
BH: " No you have to be a customer"

DD: " But I am a customer , I come here regularly .. pls can she just go to the toilet shes desperate"

BH: " Well you will have to buy something then "

DD: " Are you serious ?"

BH: " Yes you have to buy something the toilet is only for customers now " again - NO sorry our any notion of understanding..

DD: " Are you telling me my 3 year old cannot use the toilet .. really ??.. I think your attitude is disgusting, I am shocked .. I am a customer.... er"

By the time I had to leave as my daughter HAD to go. I left saying

DD: " I want to speak to the manager"

BH: " Hes not here, he will be in the morning"

DD: " I am totally disgusted by your attitude and I will be back to complain"

BH : " you do that "

The staff was rude, blunt and totally got my back up - I was so so so angry on behalf of my daughter.

I had to take her out to wee on the street ( which is ok as Im not uptight about those things ) and would have just done that in the first place.

SO I went back this morning and spoke to the manager. I AM ASTOUNDED this place has ANY customers still- really-

me DD: " Hi , Im sure you have heard about an incident that happened yesterday regarding my daughter needing to use the toilet quickly - and the response I got and gave "

BH Manger : Bluntly " Its not a public toilet and yes I heard about it "

DD : shocked " um seriously you treat your cutomers like this ? Also this lady was quite rude in her mannner .. instead of saying " im really sorry my manager has told us strictly we cant allow non-current customers to use the toilet "

BH Manager : " well apparently YOU were rude and aggressive "

DD: " Yes I said the attitude was disgusting as I was furious , and your member of staffs manner was so abrasive "

BH Manager : " well its your word against hers "

DD: " I cant believe it, well you have definitely lost a customer "

Where upon the Manager just shrugged..


I am SO shocked. I have never in my life experienced such appalling attitudes towards customers or children.

If they had a sign up stating toilets for customers only OR if I kept going in after school and letting my daughter use the toilet and not buying anything OR if I had never been/use the cafe. Or if it was for me.. not a 3 year old.
I might ( might ) feel differently.

I am also very sad as I loved going there and was planning to take my mum there today to show how fab I thought it was.

I would also like to add - they only take cash , I had none on me but had planned to go to a cash point and return for a treat... although the staff did not know this.

I am posting on here for many reasons :

1. Am I going mad ? Was I wrong to think I could nip in for my daughter to use the toilet??
2. Has anyone else experienced this in cafes - and how did you feel ??

Comments / Replys Please .. !!

[Katnisscupcake]

No, YANBU. I would have just used the toilet anyway, what would they do, call the Police and prevent you from leaving?

I've actually been in shops where I've asked to use the staff toilet if there are no toilets nearby, when they say DD looking pale and desperate they always say yes. Bizarre that anyone would see it as a problem!

[Dahlen]

I missed the first thread. Maybe it was worded differently because I am honestly really surprised at the number of YABUs. The cafe staff didn't have to let the OP use their toilet and had every right to deny her, but it is poor customer service IMO and poor business sense. They now have a dissatisfied customer who will not only not be spending her own money there but will also be encouraging other people to stay away. All for the sake of a couple of sheets of loo roll?

[KCumberSandwich]

YABU, you said you planned on staying for a treat after, why didn't you explain this but ask if your daughter could use the loo before you ordered as she was desperate

from what you have wrotten it sounds like you over-reacted and got narky whereas if you had explained properly you wouldn't be left with this bitter taste in your mouth.

[PatoBanton]

They were a bit shirty but tbh yabu in asking to use the toilet anyway.

This is the sort of thing I thought was true till I was about 13, that shops had to let you use their loos if you asked - it's not.

Like when I took something back to a gift shop at the age of about 7, because it was 3p cheaper over the road

You should have just bought something.

[KCumberSandwich]

*written not wrotten

[Howsuper]

You were unreasonable to be such a pain in the arse drama queen. The staff reaction was probably far more about your semi-hysterical, entitled reaction than about your dd using the loo. The way you say your conversation went does not paint you in a good light.

Everyone on here saying the cafe was mean to not let 'one child' go to the loo is unreasonable because the glaringly obvious reprecussion is that they allow one kid, they allow them all and give out the message that non-paying customers (which you absolutely WERE) are welcome to come in and use their facilities.

[Mynameismina]

KCumber I rather like wrotten, I think I will use it from now on.

[Dahlen]

How is that a glaringly obvious repercussion? Is the OP going to start walking round wearing a sandwich board saying "non-paying customers are welcome to use the facilities at cafe X" Is there a website where people go on and enter a postcode to find cafes that allow non-paying customers to use their loos? Will the existing customers in the cafe at the time even register that the toilet user hasn't bought anything, let alone go and tell all-and-sundry about the exciting event they witnessed that day?

[LoonvanBoon]

Didn't see the original thread but I don't think yabu to think this is crap customer service, & pretty mean-spirited generally. I've asked to use the loos on behalf of my sons in shops even when I've not been a regular customer, & have never encountered this - quite the opposite, in fact; have had lovely staff show us the way to the staff loos on at least one occasion. Wouldn't necessarily expect it, mind, & wouldn't argue the toss if they said no, but I would be pretty pissed off if it was a cafe / shop where I was a regular. Generally I don't ask, to be honest - if there's a customer loo that's obvious & easy to get to, I just go. I think most of the people in my town have exactly the same attitude judging by the queues for the loos in m&s / another department store. There aren't enough public loos around. Find a cafe with nicer staff & management, OP, where your custom will be valued.

[GogoGobo]

Yanbu

[Jan49]

I'm surprised you didn't just go in and use the toilet without asking, since you are a regular customer and must know where the toilet is. The only time I've been refused the use of a toilet as a non-customer - with or without a child - is when I've gone in a café and it isn't obvious where the toilet is and I've asked for permission and they've said no. Other times, I've popped in and out, looked at the menu as if I planned to buy something but not actually bought anything and just used the loo. No one has ever said anything to me.

I think they were mean not to allow your dd to use the toilet but you are making a mountain out of a molehill. Lots of café owners will tell their staff the toilets are customer only. I don't know why you didn't say you would order after she'd used the toilet, even if in fact you didn't have the cash.

[BoffinMum]

Miserable buggers.
Put something on TripAdvisor.

[LaRegina]

Yeah do that - then let's hope the business goes down the pan

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

Never name the café OP.

[PatoBanton]

So your dd was told you might stay for a treat, but you actually had no money on you and they don't take cards?

[PatoBanton]

Oh I see you answered that.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

There's a toilet in Asda (I saw the original thread).

I think yabu. I don't pop into local cafes to use the toilet. If it was me I would have just taken her to the loo then got something afterwards. Why make a song and dance over it.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

Other nearby toilets would be the station (ok you have to pay), Boots and I expect the health centre.

[Jux]

Why couldn't you just have asked for a coffee, and slung your coat over a chair while running your dd to the loo, then sat down. Honestly, it would have been so much quicker, by the time you'd finished arguing.

[Tiptops]

Haven't read the last thread so taking this one on face value YANBU. As a regular customer I wouldn't expect to be treated like a cheeky tourist.

[TamsB]

I can't believe how many people think dollybird1000 is unreasonable to expect a cafe of which she is a regular to allow her 3 yr old daughter to use the loo when she is bursting even if she wasn't going to buy something there and then. Nancy 66 it is incredibly hard for independent cafes to survive and dollybird1000 had been supporting a local independent and would have continued to do so had they been welcoming and reasonable. Why would you risk losing a regular customer over this?

[Sallyingforth]

So now you can't use what used to be your favourite cafe, and you won't ever be able to use this convenient toilet even as a customer.
Was it worth it?

[Toffeepoppet]

Are you on glue?