WORST customer care ever - Am I being unreasonable?

[dollybird1000]

Hello fellow MumsNetters,

I rarely post on her but I have experienced the most most outrageous customer care from a cafe. I'm still in disbelief.

Bear with me - its a long one -

Scenario:
So I regularly visited X cafe as lovely coffee/food and quiet ( so you'd think they would want to keep customers ) either just before I collect my 3yr daughter or after I drop her at nursery school.

So I would imagine I have spent at least £100 in there since the beginning of Term. Visting 2 to 3 times a week.

Yesterday I collected my daughter and 3 year olds being as they are .. as we got to the top of the road - near the cafe - she announced she needed a wee and was desperate.

I thought - no worries " quick we will just nip in my fav cafe and you can go and then maybe we will stay for a treat "

I went into the cafe and just happened to say " oo do you mind if she quickly nips to the toilet"

For the sake of clarity - I will be DD and the cafe BH:

The member of Staff I asked turned and said bluntly
BH: " No you have to be a customer"

DD: " But I am a customer , I come here regularly .. pls can she just go to the toilet shes desperate"

BH: " Well you will have to buy something then "

DD: " Are you serious ?"

BH: " Yes you have to buy something the toilet is only for customers now " again - NO sorry our any notion of understanding..

DD: " Are you telling me my 3 year old cannot use the toilet .. really ??.. I think your attitude is disgusting, I am shocked .. I am a customer.... er"

By the time I had to leave as my daughter HAD to go. I left saying

DD: " I want to speak to the manager"

BH: " Hes not here, he will be in the morning"

DD: " I am totally disgusted by your attitude and I will be back to complain"

BH : " you do that "

The staff was rude, blunt and totally got my back up - I was so so so angry on behalf of my daughter.

I had to take her out to wee on the street ( which is ok as Im not uptight about those things ) and would have just done that in the first place.

SO I went back this morning and spoke to the manager. I AM ASTOUNDED this place has ANY customers still- really-

me DD: " Hi , Im sure you have heard about an incident that happened yesterday regarding my daughter needing to use the toilet quickly - and the response I got and gave "

BH Manger : Bluntly " Its not a public toilet and yes I heard about it "

DD : shocked " um seriously you treat your cutomers like this ? Also this lady was quite rude in her mannner .. instead of saying " im really sorry my manager has told us strictly we cant allow non-current customers to use the toilet "

BH Manager : " well apparently YOU were rude and aggressive "

DD: " Yes I said the attitude was disgusting as I was furious , and your member of staffs manner was so abrasive "

BH Manager : " well its your word against hers "

DD: " I cant believe it, well you have definitely lost a customer "

Where upon the Manager just shrugged..


I am SO shocked. I have never in my life experienced such appalling attitudes towards customers or children.

If they had a sign up stating toilets for customers only OR if I kept going in after school and letting my daughter use the toilet and not buying anything OR if I had never been/use the cafe. Or if it was for me.. not a 3 year old.
I might ( might ) feel differently.

I am also very sad as I loved going there and was planning to take my mum there today to show how fab I thought it was.

I would also like to add - they only take cash , I had none on me but had planned to go to a cash point and return for a treat... although the staff did not know this.

I am posting on here for many reasons :

1. Am I going mad ? Was I wrong to think I could nip in for my daughter to use the toilet??
2. Has anyone else experienced this in cafes - and how did you feel ??

Comments / Replys Please .. !!

[hollyisalovelyname]

YANBU.
Appalling, nasty waitress and manager.
Name and shame!
A poor wee child ( excuse pun) and her 'regular customer' mum.
Hope Mumsnetters boycott the place.
The cafe can refuse access to the toilet but surely they can help a regular customer out in an emergency.
Take your business elsewhere and tell your friends and family.

[witsalmader]

Because its the last straw of the day sometimes isn't it?

I can't imagine something like this being "the last straw of the day" but even if it was, I honestly cannot conceive of starting a thread about it. A sour-faced bitch basically told me to fuck off out of her restaurant a week ago and I just thought "mm, chef's being a prick, you're having a bad day" and wandered around til I found somewhere else to eat. I might go back, I might not. I'm not going to fling myself about naming and shaming though. Because it's one meal in the course of my life and it genuinely doesn't fucking matter. Really. It's a cafe. It doesn't actually matter.

[witsalmader]

Hope Mumsnetters boycott the place

If OP named it I would go on a pilgrimage and spend £100 there to make up for all the arseholes who agreed to boycott it.

[LynetteScavo]

You were unreasonable to ask. I would have just gone ahead and used the loo without asking.
You asked if they minded, they said yes. You've decided not to go there again. Job done.

[Nancy66]

Boycott it? I'm going to burn it down and dance on the rubble.

[pastelmacaroons]

Its clear from the above reviews on Time Out that people with children are not welcome, op has been in there perfectly fine without her DD, goes in there with her and she is treated like that.

Yes they do not want children clearly, they don't have too its a shame they treated her so badly when she had her DD with her.

Cant they also make that clear, like a sign " No Dogs, No Children"

However, from the managers attitude it probably stems from him or if he is the owner, and has rammed it down his staffs necks.

[ahusband]

Do you have something against number 2s?

[LittleMissWise]

The OP did name and shame, the thread got deleted!

[neunundneunzigluftballons]

Jeez I just went onto the Nappy Valley site to see where this cafe was, ironic since I live in Ireland and will never pass its door, but they are all so nice to one another on that site.

[50shadesofmeh]

Pastel macaroons are you a rival cafe or OP with a name change ?

[Rufus44]

I was on a bit of a pub crawl the other day (sad version only about 3 drinks) and I came up with a fab idea!!

Loo tokens, you go to the cafe, McDonald's etc and get a loo token if you don't use it there and then you can save it for another day!!! Inspired!!!

I'm a genius me!

Disclaimer, its probably a shit idea with loads of flaws but it amuses me to think of people walking in screaming "but I have a token"

[LittleMissWise]

So what if they don't want children in there? They don't have to!

[LittleMissWise]

I wondered if she was the OP 50shades

[jacks365]

Witsalmader I'll get a baby sitter and come and join you.

[pastelmacaroons]

No I am not but I have been in the service industry and my family has.

Also right now, if I go into a cafe its a real treat for me, a real treat, and yes I would be upset if somewhere I was putting hard earned money would turn around and tell me to get stuffed when my little one needed the loo.

I have many times been in that position and it is quite urgent! They do spring it on you!

Also my poor mum has a weak bladder, and springs things like this on me, and now come to think of it my Dad too....I just feel really sorry for the elderly who cant get to loo's in time or have to worry about this reaction etc when they need to go.

Op, its Halloween after all, the witches have come out to play!

[pastelmacaroons]

Sorry I meant to add, been in service industry and know how easy it is to be nice, and kind and human, and how stuck up and egotistical it is to not be.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

I miss living in nappy valley. Unfortunately we didn't have 1.5 million to spend on a house.

[marriedinwhiteisback]

I think the cafe should have let the child use the loo but when they said no I wouldn't have argued. Also if the OPs dd was soooo desperate how come there was time to argue - I'd have got her outside, next to the kerb pretty quickly right outside the cafe so all the customers could enjoy whilst drinking their tea. And the next day when I ordered my coffee I'd have politely mentioned it to the manager and I bet I'd have go my coffee for free .

[50shadesofmeh]

I've now been able to figure out where the cafe is and think its out of order that a small independent business will likely be damaged because the waitress refused OP's child the toilet like she was advised to do , tut.

[pastelmacaroons]

The small and independent business must be doing exceedingly well to treat their regular customers with such rudeness. So, I doubt they will be hurt.

In fact full of MN tomorrow spending a fortune but outside in takeaway cups if they turn up with kids

[kali110]

Iv been in service industry over a decade and would love to hear the waitresses side as betting op wasnt as reasonable as she is trying to make out.

[Floggingmolly]

Any damage to the business will actually be caused by op and her total refusal to either:

1. Accept a simple "no, toilets are for customers only"
   And 2. Get the fuck over it instead of starting a smear campaign.

[LittleMissWise]

The waitress reported the OP as being "rude and aggressive", kali.

[50shadesofmeh]

Kali I think you misunderstood me I was supporting the waitress doing what she was told and I'm sad the OP has started a smear campaign on a small business because they dared to cross her, I just phrased it wrong

[pianodoodle]

I don't think the thread title is dramatic enough to describe this horrific tale.

It isn't just the worst customer service ever, it's the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone, ever.