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Original poster

WORST customer care ever - Am I being unreasonable?

334 replies

dollybird1000 · 16/10/2013 11:50

Hello fellow MumsNetters,

I rarely post on her but I have experienced the most most outrageous customer care from a cafe. I'm still in disbelief.

Bear with me - its a long one -

Scenario:
So I regularly visited X cafe as lovely coffee/food and quiet ( so you'd think they would want to keep customers ) either just before I collect my 3yr daughter or after I drop her at nursery school.

So I would imagine I have spent at least £100 in there since the beginning of Term. Visting 2 to 3 times a week.

Yesterday I collected my daughter and 3 year olds being as they are .. as we got to the top of the road - near the cafe - she announced she needed a wee and was desperate.

I thought - no worries " quick we will just nip in my fav cafe and you can go and then maybe we will stay for a treat "

I went into the cafe and just happened to say " oo do you mind if she quickly nips to the toilet"

For the sake of clarity - I will be DD and the cafe BH:

The member of Staff I asked turned and said bluntly
BH: " No you have to be a customer"

DD: " But I am a customer , I come here regularly .. pls can she just go to the toilet shes desperate"

BH: " Well you will have to buy something then "

DD: " Are you serious ?"

BH: " Yes you have to buy something the toilet is only for customers now " again - NO sorry our any notion of understanding..

DD: " Are you telling me my 3 year old cannot use the toilet .. really ??.. I think your attitude is disgusting, I am shocked .. I am a customer.... er"

By the time I had to leave as my daughter HAD to go. I left saying

DD: " I want to speak to the manager"

BH: " Hes not here, he will be in the morning"

DD: " I am totally disgusted by your attitude and I will be back to complain"

BH : " you do that "

The staff was rude, blunt and totally got my back up - I was so so so angry on behalf of my daughter.

I had to take her out to wee on the street ( which is ok as Im not uptight about those things ) and would have just done that in the first place.

SO I went back this morning and spoke to the manager. I AM ASTOUNDED this place has ANY customers still- really-

me DD: " Hi , Im sure you have heard about an incident that happened yesterday regarding my daughter needing to use the toilet quickly - and the response I got and gave "

BH Manger : Bluntly " Its not a public toilet and yes I heard about it "

DD : shocked " um seriously you treat your cutomers like this ? Also this lady was quite rude in her mannner .. instead of saying " im really sorry my manager has told us strictly we cant allow non-current customers to use the toilet "

BH Manager : " well apparently YOU were rude and aggressive "

DD: " Yes I said the attitude was disgusting as I was furious , and your member of staffs manner was so abrasive "

BH Manager : " well its your word against hers "

DD: " I cant believe it, well you have definitely lost a customer "

Where upon the Manager just shrugged..

I am SO shocked. I have never in my life experienced such appalling attitudes towards customers or children.

If they had a sign up stating toilets for customers only OR if I kept going in after school and letting my daughter use the toilet and not buying anything OR if I had never been/use the cafe. Or if it was for me.. not a 3 year old.
I might ( might ) feel differently.

I am also very sad as I loved going there and was planning to take my mum there today to show how fab I thought it was.

I would also like to add - they only take cash , I had none on me but had planned to go to a cash point and return for a treat... although the staff did not know this.

I am posting on here for many reasons :

  1. Am I going mad ? Was I wrong to think I could nip in for my daughter to use the toilet??
  2. Has anyone else experienced this in cafes - and how did you feel ??

Comments / Replys Please .. !!

OP posts:
OliverBoliverButt33 · 16/10/2013 15:15

So you think the OP's response is fair and balanced, do you, isshoes? Really?

For most of us, we'd have a bit of a grumble to our mates about it and avoid going in there for a few weeks. That's it.

This (and in particular her previous post) is way, way, way over the top. It's unpleasant, vindictive and hysterical.

EldritchCleavage · 16/10/2013 15:17

We're being whipped up into a pointless frenzy here, people, think about it. Or disengage.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 16/10/2013 15:18

Yes, but the OP didn't have to take her DD into that cafe to use the toilet, as pointed out before.

treaclesoda · 16/10/2013 15:18

what is so nasty about the thread? Most posters have said much the same which is basically

'it's a bit mean to say no to a three year old, but really they weren't obliged to, and you might have been a bit over the top in how you handled it. Oh, and there were alternatives'.

I honestly don't see what is so vitriolic about that.

Eustonroad · 16/10/2013 15:19

Hmmm cash business... Do they ring stuff through the till and give you a proper receipt? PAYE staff or paying less than minimum wage cash in hand? Get your revenge by reporting to HMRC.

Rufus44 · 16/10/2013 15:21

westie agree with BHS comment Grin

TheBigJessie · 16/10/2013 15:22

I wonder if the café will have a flood of new intrigued customers now. I didn't see the original thread, mind.

The attitude does seem surprising- I've found many local pubs are willing to let my children use the toilet, even though I'm not a customer, out of simple kindness.

isshoes · 16/10/2013 15:22

I think what is unpleasant, vindictive and hysterical is the tone of some of the replies on this thread. I would be upset if I had been treated like this by my favourite cafe. And people post about all manner of trivial things on here. I am astounded by some of the responses on this thread, yours included. I will admit that I didn't see the original thread, but if the incident is as described in the OP, why shouldn't you complain to and about the cafe?

isshoes · 16/10/2013 15:25

What's vitriolic about the thread? How about the OP being called vindictive, hysterical, boring, being accused of bullshitting, people questioning her child's ability to wait to go to the toilet (?), being told to go away...just a few examples...

TamsB · 16/10/2013 15:25

A voice of reason isshoes? Surely not!!!

treaclesoda · 16/10/2013 15:26

you're astounded at my response? Confused In what way?

isshoes · 16/10/2013 15:27

That comment was at Oliver.

treaclesoda · 16/10/2013 15:28

oh, because I said a three year old can usually wait a few minutes. Well, in my experience they can. I didn't attack the OP, I didn't call her names or call her a liar. I just wondered if it was possible that her child coukd wait a few minutes.

TheOrginalPoster · 16/10/2013 15:30

Here's the thing.

It is its all very well giving some long winded explanation of the perfect, calm, rational, articulate, dignified and down right righteous way in which the OP should have behaved in said situation.

But how many people faced with a desperate, panicky three year old who need to go now cope with it with pure grace? Add in a unexpectedly rude person in a place you normally feel welcomed and valued making your situation even more stressful and desperate , and you have a recipe for disaster. The café worker added to the urgent problem and with much hostility too.

isshoes · 16/10/2013 15:30

It comes across as either trying to pick holes in the story, or trying to find as many reasons as possible to disagree with the OP treaclesoda.

OliverBoliverButt33 · 16/10/2013 15:32

Er...the cafe were perfectly entitled to refuse to allow a non-customer to use their facilities. A bit mean, yes - but if you think attempting to start an internet campaign to belittle a small business for something this minor is OK and perfectly understandable then, frankly, I feel rather sorry for any small businesses you frequent.

Because naming and shaming in multiple places is a shit thing to do and completely unnecessary. It smacks of childish vindictiveness.

If they'd let her, it would be a favour - a favour that most would probably allow. But not to do a favour for someone coming in off the street is not grounds for this kind of response. Just isn't.

ConfusedandDazed24 · 16/10/2013 15:32

Fair enough TheOrginal but why then go in the next day?

gobbynorthernbird · 16/10/2013 15:33

The person in the cafe wasn't hostile. It's not they said 'buy something first you cheap bitch'.

OliverBoliverButt33 · 16/10/2013 15:34

It's NOT that she's pissed off at her little girl not being allowed to use the loo....I would be too.

It's the way she's gone about naming & shaming that is unacceptable. Which is why her original post was deleted (and the original post also included other steps she was going to take to stop people going there).

treaclesoda · 16/10/2013 15:36

Its not trying to poke holes in the OPs story, or deliberately finding an excuse to disagree, its just that, well, a lot of people disagree with her Confused

She lost my sympathy with the line about 'not being uptight about these things' when she got her child to pee in the street. Hmm As it happens, I think the cafe should have let her use the toilet, but there are valid reasons why they might not (such as a staff member not wanting to allow something that she'd been told not to do) and I'm astounded that she thinks that peeing in the street in a fine and dandy thing to allow her child to do. But clearly I'm uptight.

isshoes · 16/10/2013 15:42

oliver the issue was not just the not letting the child use the toilet, but the abrupt and dismissive manner of the staff. Which is never ok. And frankly, small businesses as well as big business have to take into account that customer service levels can and will be reflected in any online reviews they receive. It's the name of the game, and is probably why it's more important than ever to remember that politeness goes a long way.

Furthermore, most people of reasonable intelligence and internet experience understand that there are almost always bad and good reviews online, and that you have to read the substance of a review to understand what the actual issue is. Same goes for word of mouth. If someone said to me 'don't ever go to X café, my first question would be 'why?'. I can then make up my own mind as to whether the cafe's policy on letting members of the public use the toilet was enough to put me off going.

Finally, no matter what you think of the OP's complaint, your response is disproportionate. This seems to happen from time to time on mn, a random post will get picked on for no particular reason and be subjected to a tirade of unpleasantness and fury that is totally unwarranted.

valiumredhead · 16/10/2013 15:42

Years ago when I worked in a restaurant I am sure I remember the owner saying there was a bylaw or something about having to let someone use the loo if they asked, or I might have jus made that up! Grin

Personally I would have marched straight in and used the loo and thanked them on the way out.

isshoes · 16/10/2013 15:45

valium I think that's one of those random old laws you sometimes read about, and I have a feeling it refers specifically to pregnant women.

ConfusedandDazed24 · 16/10/2013 15:47

This also reminds me of the milk thread Hmm

isshoes · 16/10/2013 15:48

Grin gobby perhaps not, but there's rather a sizeable middle ground between 'oh I'm really sorry, the toilet's for customers only, but the nearest public one is at X' and 'buy something first you cheap bitch'...