To start a thread about "Naughty Things I have Done Recently" as an antidote to the not-very-nice-threads.

[Salmotrutta]

So:

I lied to DH on Saturday and said I got up at 8.00am when I really got up at 10.00am

I had cup-a-soup and tuna and mayonnaise sandwich paste on toast for lunch yesterday.

I also didn't get dressed until 12.00pm yesterday.

I left the laundry in the tumble dryer for two days as of today.

I'm going to hell aren't I?

even though I don't believe in hell

Oh and I still have an empty washing machine but an overloaded basket of washing!!

I'm so glad I'm not alone with the washing thing.

We have 3 bags those massive sports direct ones full of clothes in the utility room and neither DH or I can be arsed to do anything about it.

We just rifle through the bags until we find what we need

I've had a good today.

My mum cooked us a delicious roast on Sunday. She then told me all the lovely meals I could cook with the left overs. I've just put it on top of a pizza and fed it to the kids.

diet so far I've eaten m&ms, biscuits (with custard on top) and crisps. I show no sign of stopping. Weigh in will go well this week.

I went back to bed after Dh took the kids to school and have regaled him with how much paper work I sorted none.

Oh and at the weekend i drank his glass of wine and then blame my mum.

Obviously they were peanut m&ms

And now I think of it I am hiding upstairs eating the aforementioned crisps no food upstairs in this house mnetting rather that interacting with the dx.

I pretended to be lesson planning today to avoid filing documents

I've just gone and got more crisps.

Cancelled gym class booking yesterday because I was hungover.
I pretended to be asleep so that dh got up and got dc's out of the door to school this morning. Then got him to bring me tea and breakfast in bed on the promise of a morning quickie.
We spent all day watching telly in bed and didn't get up until 10 mins until school pick up.
However we didn't order pizza delivery and eat it in bed for lunch like we normally do, so I'm polishing my halo on that one.
Tomorrow both dc's have clubs until 4 so we are going to the local pool with a sauna world to spend the day going between saunas, steam room and plunge pool. We're going to morrisons for a fried breakfast first.
House needs cleaning,washing is overflowing but never get anything done when dh's off shift days are school days.

Excellent news dh is sufficiently late home from work that I can pretend I ate earlier thereby negating my crappy diet for the day. I have rewarded myself with

I might have also accidentally just eaten three-quarters of a packet of chocolate limes...

I have clean clothes sat in the washing machine since Saturday

We bought nice, healthy food to eat in the house. Instead we bought pizza take out, including a large pizza, chicken dippers, wedges and bbq ribs and ate it in bed.

I lie to my OH about what I eat whilst he's at work, frequently eat multiple crisps and take the empty packets to work with me to hide the evidence.

I had the whole of last week off of work, I said I'd go swimming every day and ride my horse. I slept in until 2pm twice, the earliest wake up being 12.30pm. I laid in bed and didn't move or get dressed until 4.45pm, when OH was nearly home.

I lied and said I had been busy on the phone to insurance companies, researching new phones etc. I did none of the above.

I told him I spent hours cleaning, I spent 20 mins putting a floordrobe into unfolded piles that cannot be seen from the bedroom doorway, most clothes just going in the washing basket to make space.

I ran out of underwear to wear due to not putting on any washing, the easiest option was to buy some more in primark rather than wash any of my existing ones.

I only put on half a load of washing because I needed clothes but couldn't be fucked hanging out a full load.

I spent $30 on stuff for me, when I had NO money, and just cancelled a less than urgent AP. Then forgot to tell DP.

Had a long day at work, legs hurt so I didn't want to walk the dog, played long game of fetch instead (I threw the ball once, then watched her chase it for an hour instead of cleaning).

I really don't want to quit smoking. But supposedly just smoked my last cigarette.

I sat at the back of the room and looked over mumsnet rather then give the bloody boring h&s lecture my full attention.

I double dipped. More than once.

I wrote erotica while dp was watching football last night then dragged him in to the bedroom- he was very confused at sudden randiness.

Thanks to some wonderful inspiration on here, my kids had doughnuts, popcorn and sweets fro breakfast today.