To think it's not UR to ask what ethnicity someone is?

[FlobberWobber]

To me, it's not rude, I lived abroad for 10 years and was often asked where I came from, it was just asked out of genuine interest.

DD is mixed race, my other DC aren't and I'm often asked in a round about way, " Oh wow, they look so different..." then I have to explain. I don't really mind. Yesterday someone said they had been dying to ask me what ethnicity DD was but thought they may sound rude, I've heard similar things said, but to me it's not rude at all to ask, aibu?

I get a lot of questions about my surname, because it is quite unusual. It's derived from the Cornish language, but it's not something that even people from Cornwall think of as sounding Cornish. As I live in an area near where the name arose, there are lots of other people who share the same surname who are not really my relatives.

However, strangers seem to think it's fine to ask if I am related to a person who shares the same surname. The surname was first recorded in the 1600s, so there are actually quite a lot of us. I find it quite an intrusive question to be asked directly "are you related to x" by a complete stranger. It could, of course, be a lot worse if my extended family were not close or there had been a falling out.

I know it's not quite the same as race, and doesn't have the same connotations as someone of a less priviledged race being asked about their ethnicity/heritage by someone of a more priviledged race. However, it is intrusive and unwanted.

I do think people should think before they speak. They should think about weather asking a question could cause some discomfort before asking it.

You know something? I am me prepared to bet £10 that nobody- and I mean nobody- ever says "Where are you from?" In a first conversation with a newly met white person. "Where do you live?" absolutely. But "Where are you from?" Never.

Because I don't think anyone has ever said that to me. And I am as foreign as foreign can be. I just look and sound as if I'm from round here. So nobody ever asks me.

Sometimes I say 'whereabouts are you?' As in which part of the city but it's not up to me to question people on their heritage, very interested to hear if it comes up but not something I ponder on a first meetings

curlew, as I said earlier, I'd never been asked that question until the last ten years (by people from Eastern Europe). I don't recall ever being asked by people from the Caribbean or Africa, or with that heritage.

May I have a tenner please?

I imagine if you are constantly made to feel 'other' and feel you have to explain yourself this could get really upsetting and annoying if it's something you struggle with anyway.
I suppose it completely depends on the situation, individual being asked, the 'askee', what mood the person being asked is in, how there are asked, the list could go on forever.

Haven't you answered your own thread?

i have to ask this with every patient that comes onto the ward , from a list , written so small that most patients cant even read it so i have to read it out to them . Had to chuckle at the older lady that described herslef as black russian with a straight face , had to put her down as 'other' !