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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset that they googled the price of the bottle of wine I bought to the Mum's social?

349 replies

LovelyVerity · 10/10/2013 16:19

DS has just started primary school. As I work full-time, I've never had much opportunity to meet other local mums, though I know some of them to nod to. Last Friday, one of the mothers organised a social (bring a bottle) at her house and invited all the P1 mums.

It wasn't the best evening for me - I only had 5 minutes to change as I was late back from work, and felt a bit of a mess. Everyone seemed to know each other and made no effort to include me, and one woman had this pointed conversation about how easy one child was - I don't find it easy :( I bought a bottle with me (obviously) - just grabbed quickly from the rack at home. I was given a glass of something I didn't like much - but obviously I didn't say that!! I was driving, so I only had the 1 glass.

Anyway, one of the mums I know slightly through work told me that after I had left a few of the mums there were pretty smashed and googled how much my wine cost. Apparently they have been posting silly comments about it on facebook all week - and it is "the" in-joke of the moment.

Is this normal behaviour? Am I being silly to feel so upset about this? DS seems to have settled well into school, but I can't help think that maybe it was a mistake to send him there if this is how the MOTHERS behave!

OP posts:

Treaguez · 10/10/2013 16:55

Am open mouthed in horror.
Look, on the plus side, you're a busy person and now you don't have to worry about trying to find the time to make friends with them.
Rise above, do your own thing, stay polite in case your ds wants to go round and play with one of their children...this is pretty much what a lot of parents are quietly doing: not getting involved with random twattery.

Just to reiterate, they sound extraordinarily horrible.

Pagwatch · 10/10/2013 16:56

If that actually happened and the woman who told you wasn't just being a cow, I find it pretty shocking.
I can't believe that not one person said 'oh hang on - that's shitty'

I am prepared to believe one or two were braving horribly but I'm not sure I believe it - not that loads of them were. The reaction on here shows people would think it was crappy behaviour.
I would wait and see how they behave to you individually.

DoItTooJulia · 10/10/2013 16:57

Are you sure it's true? Can you trust the person who told you this?

If so, I would have to say something. You could either be really earnest and approach the person whose house it was and say "x told me that you were being pretty mean about me when I left. Is that true?"

Or "you know what, I've heard that I'm the butt of your jokes after you googled the price of the bottle of wine I bought with me on Friday. I didn't realise I was supposed to spend a certain amount. Why on earth didn't you tell me. It's really hurtful that you'd do that."

Or."I had a great time on Friday. Once I'd left. You're all really horrible, aren't you?"

youarewinning · 10/10/2013 16:59

Clearly a bunch of twats.

Squitten · 10/10/2013 17:01

Bunch of total bitches, obviously.

But just keep your head held high OP. You have graciously given their evidently empty lives a little bit of excitement.

Don't feel bad for yourself, feel great pity for THEM that this is the best fun they can think of. What a bunch of losers they are!

Pagwatch · 10/10/2013 17:04

I'm with DoittooJulia

I think it's bollocks
Imagine being at a do and, after someone leaves (bearing in mind they don't all know each other) a couple of people start googling the price of wine.
You'd think 'what a pair of nasty twats. Not funny '

So it's not really likely that all of them joined in and have kept it going as a joke.
Even if it did happen I bet many of the women there thought it was horrible.

I think tell tale woman is a shit stirrer,either exaggerating a couple of people being a bit mean or an out and out liar.

Igloofornow · 10/10/2013 17:04

What can they actually say on fb about the price of a bottle of wine?

Horrible way to behave, and the mum who told you gets extra horrible points.

unless it was blue nun

Housesellerihope · 10/10/2013 17:07

They are bitches but YOU SHOULD NOT DRINK AND DRIVE no not even one glass! I am shocked no one has mentioned that yet. Studies have shown that our reflexes are much reduced even at low levels of alcohol in the bloodstream. You're risking other people's lives as well as your own and that is not ok.

MrsGeologist · 10/10/2013 17:09

If it was a cheap bottle, be glad your didn't waste the expensive stuff of a bunch of fucking dipsticks like that.

Jinty64 · 10/10/2013 17:09

When they grow up they will be embarrassed. And, the woman who to,d you about it was not being kind.

DoItTooJulia · 10/10/2013 17:11

Houseller. Wind your neck in! She did something perfectly legal. It may not pass your moral standards, but that's your problem, not OPs.

DoItTooJulia · 10/10/2013 17:12

Oops, sorry, houseseller.

NickyNackyNooNoo · 10/10/2013 17:13

They sound hideous, I personaly wouldn't waste my time forming close friendship with them.

They need to get out more, childish and pathetic.

headinhands · 10/10/2013 17:14

I'm sure they would feel horrified if they knew you knew. It's not the nicest thing to have done but they were piddled and never expected you to find out about it.

shewhowines · 10/10/2013 17:17

I'd feel upset too, but I'd hold my tongue because, like it or not, you are going to have to mix with them, at pick up, play dates etc. Be civil and polite but keep your distance, now you know what they are like.

I'd also try to quietly find out if it is true. The friend might be jealous and want to keep you to herself. How can you verify the truth, without making waves?

picnicbasketcase · 10/10/2013 17:17

But it's one thing to google it while they're all pissed but quite another to then spend all week sending messages about it. And as for why one of them would tell the Op about it, utterly baffling and bitchy.

Twiddlebum · 10/10/2013 17:18

I'm confused..... Was it an expensive bottle or cheap bottle? If it was cheap then apparently the 'in thing' is for the middle classes to buy their wine from aldi!!! I buy cheap wine and everyone I know buys cheap wine! (Apart from blue stripe wine that comes in a carton from tesco!!) they sound like utter twats and the person that told you is no better!

eurochick · 10/10/2013 17:20

How incredibly rude! And immature. And downright nasty.

sparechange · 10/10/2013 17:23

Because they thought your wine was too cheap or too expensive?
What the hell?
If you feel it necessary to see them again, make sure you buy a bottle from a corner shop so it has a sticky label with the price, and make a point of telling them you left it on to save them the trouble of googling, while giving them a lovely smile

sparechange · 10/10/2013 17:25

Houseseller OP doesn't need a lecture. She hasn't broken the law

ThisIs · 10/10/2013 17:26

Just put a link to the article on your Facebook wall and be sure to share it with the mom's in question:

Oz Clarke on expensive wine rip-offs

This was on Watchdog yesterday, where he also said that the cheaper wines were also often the nicest and best value for money - although that is not mentioned in the article but will be on the watch again

TheAwfulDaughter · 10/10/2013 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

pigletmania · 10/10/2013 17:38

No op this is not normal, are they 12? They are certainly acting like it. Ave nothing mre to do with them. Wine is nt cheap anyway. What did tey expect, Bollinger or Crystal!

pigletmania · 10/10/2013 17:40

Theawfuldaughter good idea

digerd · 10/10/2013 17:45

Stupid women as they probably drank on an empty stomach. Did they drive home too? They should grow up now they are mums.
Agree that the one you know slightly was stirring at worst and unthinking at best. You can hold your head up high with self respect and they should be ashamed of themselves.

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