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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset that they googled the price of the bottle of wine I bought to the Mum's social?

349 replies

LovelyVerity · 10/10/2013 16:19

DS has just started primary school. As I work full-time, I've never had much opportunity to meet other local mums, though I know some of them to nod to. Last Friday, one of the mothers organised a social (bring a bottle) at her house and invited all the P1 mums.

It wasn't the best evening for me - I only had 5 minutes to change as I was late back from work, and felt a bit of a mess. Everyone seemed to know each other and made no effort to include me, and one woman had this pointed conversation about how easy one child was - I don't find it easy :( I bought a bottle with me (obviously) - just grabbed quickly from the rack at home. I was given a glass of something I didn't like much - but obviously I didn't say that!! I was driving, so I only had the 1 glass.

Anyway, one of the mums I know slightly through work told me that after I had left a few of the mums there were pretty smashed and googled how much my wine cost. Apparently they have been posting silly comments about it on facebook all week - and it is "the" in-joke of the moment.

Is this normal behaviour? Am I being silly to feel so upset about this? DS seems to have settled well into school, but I can't help think that maybe it was a mistake to send him there if this is how the MOTHERS behave!

OP posts:
sebsmummy1 · 10/10/2013 16:33

Sounds nasty and bitchy but I imagine they were pissed and they now think it's the 'in joke' that's cementing their cliquey little group together.

Personally I wouldn't respond on Facebook as it could all get out of hand and possibly some of them are realising its nasty but could then get all defensive if pulled on it.

I absolutely wouldn't be socialising again with them that's for sure!!!

liquidstate · 10/10/2013 16:33

did they think it was too cheap of too expensive??? Who on earth does that!! Shock

I wouldn't interact with them outside of the DC. I don't think they are worth the effort tbh.

BuzzardBirdBloodBath · 10/10/2013 16:34

Surely one of a room full of mothers will be a MNr?

Hopefully one will see this and realise how awful their behaviour was and how much it has upset you. What horrible, horrible women.

Personally I would go out of my way to let them know that I know to shame them.

MoominMammasHandbag · 10/10/2013 16:35

So spill Lovely, was it very posh or very cheapo? Either way they are very immature, I would keep well clear.

MillyONaire · 10/10/2013 16:36

Horrible horrible people - that is not normal or nice behaviour. One nasty bitch and a load of weak followers is what happens. A lot of the followers were probably (hopefully) uncomfortable about that and hopefully too they will all grow up and realise what a waste of space and time the nasty leader is.

YouTheCat · 10/10/2013 16:36

They have terrible manners as well as being utter twats.

ProfondoRosso · 10/10/2013 16:37

They are nasty, pathetic A-holes. It's brilliant that your DS is settling in so well at school, but you don't have to be friends with these women. You sound much nicer than them.

If any of them ask why you haven't been engaging with them, you can tell them why, and leave that with them, but I wouldn't react on FB - never helps a situation.

Viviennemary · 10/10/2013 16:37

Sad to say it is probably typical behaviour of certain types of people. The type most people would avoid. Which is why those sort of folk tend to congregate together. Just avoid in future.

fluffyraggies · 10/10/2013 16:37

I automatically assumed they were being nasty about the wine being a cheap bottle. (i hate wine - cheap or pricey, so never spend more than £3 much on it Grin )

Never entered my head that this could be a reverse snobbery thing. Bloody stupid either way.

AngelinaCongleton · 10/10/2013 16:38

Next time print a label over an Asda 3 for a tenner and call it "le vin pour knobheads' £300"

defineme · 10/10/2013 16:40

Just because your child is the same age doesn't necessarily give you anything in common. Nothing particularly bad happened to me, but I gave up on school socials a while back...the plain truth is I prefer my other friends and have little enough time to see them.

I'm sorry you had a shit evening with some impolite people.
It's just one night: forget it and them.

You don't have to socialize for the sake of your ds-he can invite his friends home for tea even if you don't know their Mums.

Bexicles · 10/10/2013 16:41

At least you have found out now what they are like, before you have had chance to invest anything in becoming part of the group. I wouldn't react to this, I'd just be smiley next time you see any of them and keep them at arms length. Very silly behaviour on their part.

PlatinumStart · 10/10/2013 16:41

Was the "joke" that the wine was too cheap or too expensive?!

Pawprint · 10/10/2013 16:43

Oh that's awful - what a coven of witches. At least you know what these bitches are like now. Drunken harridans with no manners.

ouryve · 10/10/2013 16:45

They sound incredibly rude and snooty.

Probably good that you know what the score is this early in the year and didn't end up stabbed in the back later on.

wigglesrock · 10/10/2013 16:46

Bunch of dicks - I can't even see why they would do it.

If you find them wanky, other people will. Fwiw I never really made friends with "school parents" until my dd1 was well into P2. Even now two or three times a year, some mums meet up in a local bar on a Friday evening for a few drinks but it's very "come if you want". My dd2 is now in P2 and I only have a quick chat with a few parents - really just passing the time of day.

BeaverAbroad · 10/10/2013 16:47

That's awful Sad

AmazingBouncingFerret · 10/10/2013 16:48

I'm dying to know whether it was el cheapo echo falls or a bottle of shat oh nerf de pap (yes I know the spelling is wrong before anyone corrects - i'm trying to be funny Grin)

Not that i'd be bothered either way of course. Wine is Wine is Wine imo

LEMisdisappointed · 10/10/2013 16:50

YABU to be upset - they are not worth it, they sound like a bunch of idiots who you at least will know not to bother with in future!

FairPhyllis · 10/10/2013 16:51

Sweet baby Jesus, they can't have much going on in their lives if they can string out a 'joke' like that over a whole week.

They are vulgar and pathetic, and the one who told you is an out-and-out bitch - she can't have intended anything other than to upset you by telling you that.

picnicbasketcase · 10/10/2013 16:53

Shat oh nerf de pap GrinGrinGrin

I assumed the bitchiness was because they thought it wasn't hoid enough too, do people get sneery over expensive wine? Shock

MellowandFruitfulSnazzy · 10/10/2013 16:53

YouTheCat has nailed it. Bad manned dicks, the lot of them. Be polite but cool to them in future. There are other ways to find friends - as long as you can facilitate your DS socialising with his friends later on, you don't need to be particularly pally with the other mums. nor do they deserve you as a friend, if this is what they think it funny.

As for this being thought funny on the PomBear thread (which I also haven't read) just goes to show how much cattiness there is around being mistaken for wit.

picnicbasketcase · 10/10/2013 16:54

Hoid?? That should say expensive. Wtf, phone?

thebody · 10/10/2013 16:54

how fucking wierd. I am eternally grateful for any wine and a good goss with friends.

how sad are they. I only buy the ASDA 3 for a tenner too.

who gives a crap! ignore them, smile, nod move on. don't confront as could rebound on your ds.

HobGobbler · 10/10/2013 16:55

Crikey, what a cluster of jebends.

Mug them right off, ignore ignore and ignore.

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