to be upset that they googled the price of the bottle of wine I bought to the Mum's social?

[LovelyVerity]

DS has just started primary school. As I work full-time, I've never had much opportunity to meet other local mums, though I know some of them to nod to. Last Friday, one of the mothers organised a social (bring a bottle) at her house and invited all the P1 mums.

It wasn't the best evening for me - I only had 5 minutes to change as I was late back from work, and felt a bit of a mess. Everyone seemed to know each other and made no effort to include me, and one woman had this pointed conversation about how easy one child was - I don't find it easy :( I bought a bottle with me (obviously) - just grabbed quickly from the rack at home. I was given a glass of something I didn't like much - but obviously I didn't say that!! I was driving, so I only had the 1 glass.

Anyway, one of the mums I know slightly through work told me that after I had left a few of the mums there were pretty smashed and googled how much my wine cost. Apparently they have been posting silly comments about it on facebook all week - and it is "the" in-joke of the moment.

Is this normal behaviour? Am I being silly to feel so upset about this? DS seems to have settled well into school, but I can't help think that maybe it was a mistake to send him there if this is how the MOTHERS behave!

I'd say for the majority in the UK, a 30 quid bottle of wine is reasonably expensive though. 12 quid is usually my limit though not that fussy and will drink more or less anything that doesn't taste like pop.

Fantastic not so stealth boasting Pat, well done!
Our local deli has loads of bottles of wine for over £30 a bottle, they do a roaring trade.
I can totally envisage a couple of my friends grabbing a bottle from the rack/wine fridge in a rush on the way out and not realising how expensive it was. Wouldn't be me, no way, but I can see how it could happen.

PatPig I don't think most people would easily notice, I certainly wouldn't. I also don't think a 4.99 bottle of wine is what is expected at most social events. with my friends £8-12 would be average.

And there are loads of independent off licences all over the place, some fab wine shops near here.
Op said that they didn't pay £30 anyway.

SybilRankin

"£29.99 is not 'reasonably expensive', it's very expensive, and most supermarkets don't even sell £30 wine.

Erm, Sainsbury's, Tesco, Morrisons, Asda and Waitrose all sell wine for well over £30. And what is 'reasonably expensive' depends on what people personally deem 'reasonable', not what you deem reasonable Pag."

Why are you shouting at me? What did I say?

I couldn't find any £30 wine on Asda's website.

I love the 'our local deli' line. Perfect

Rich person: 'I've bought you some wine'
Normal person: 'That looks pricey'
Rich person: 'Oh yes it was all they had down out our local deli'
Normal person: 'Local deli?' [thinks to self: that means you've got an expensive house in a posh area as well as expensive wine]

There's plenty in Tesco.'

It's like two for one on subtle 'considerably richer than yow' signalling.

'This was all they had in the corner shop' (clutching bag from Harrods)

Whether or not it's 'reasonably' expensive, the OP didn't deliberately bring a £30 bottle of wine. If she'd wanted these women to know, she'd have bloody announced it - "here is a beautiful Chateauneuf de pape, 2008 vintage, please drink it slowly" etc.

I'm guessing it was fairly obvious to the others at the party that she wasn't trying to be flash, therefore it's very bad form of them to take the piss.

I don't have a lot of money, but if I save up and get something really nice, I hate it if people sneer. I don't have DCs to spend my money on, so if I want a bottle of £30 Sancerre, after putting a wee bit away every week, I'll bloody well have it. And I think it would suck if I shared it with friends and they called me a flash bastard. Commenting on other people's wealth/spending habits is just grotty.

Oh PatPig don't be so narrow. I live in one of the most deprived bits of the country and next to my area, three streets away in fact, there is a deli. And it sells wine for £8 up to hundreds but the point is I can get a bottle without selling a kidney or moving house.

Apparently Coconutty

There's soooo many jellis haterz out there.

OP I have been where you are and my advice would be to make a mental note of the ££ wine before glibly handing over next time. I handed over a bottle of wine to the Christmas fair which dh had been 'keeping' for a special occasion. I have never made that mistake twice.

In terms of the hh I wouldn't do it either, for us it's a second home and friends not strangers are invited. However a friend has his as a business and often donates weekends away in it at mutual functions we attend. We feel tightwads in comparison but he uses it as good advertising, if they enjoyed their treat maybe they will come back and pay full whack.

Pagwatch the poster was addressing PatPig and made a typo. I did a double-take at that

OP, don't donate your holiday home as a prize. Instead, make friends with someone lovely who is too busy enjoying your company to notice the label on your wine bottle. Take that person to your holiday home, with all of your children and have a wonderful time quaffing wine together in the evenings and not giving the rest of them headspace.

patfig, the local deli does have pricey wines, I don't buy them. I go there because they are award winning butchers.
Stop making such presumptuous judgements based on nothing.
The local deli is in Lancashire, surrounded by terraced houses and does a roaring trade.
My grandparents, whilst they were still alive ate nothing but M&S food on a measly pension. They would rather eat less and eat well.

Oh thank God Anais
The shouting scares me...

I'm never sure whether to bold or not, but I will update my spreadsheet with a note that it must never be done in your case

Whatever the OP did, it sounds like she would have been ridiculed by those childish women. Expensive bottle of wine? "Oh she's flashing her money." Cheapish bottle of wine? "Cheapskate, and with all that money too!"

Those women are bitches.

Hey they're not my rules! I will be taking chickpeas because I like to live on the wild side. Heck I might go crazy and bung in a jar of harrissa paste or summat

It is a wee bit posh round here. Last Christmas there was a drive for the local food bank (which incidentally appears to be giving the mainly chickpeas stuff away to anyone who'll collect at the moment) in Waitrose. I had a nosy at the donations and it was mainly 1.5kg bags of arborio rice. I felt a bit sorry for the poor bugger on their uppers and having a really shit time who then has to spend 45 minutes stirring a risotto. As if they haven't suffered enough :(

Coming in late here but £30 bottle of wine??? I didn't know there was such a thing and im so common i wouldn't have known it was good wine if i had been poured a glass!

By idea of a good bottle if wine is which ever one is half price in the co-op and might have been a tenner to start with!

Isn't a white zinfandel the height of sophistication? Its not actually white you know, its pink

OP I'd be open minded about what happened - I expect they are all equally embarrassed and impressed by your £30 bottle of wine and also a little uncomfortable about what message you were trying to give. I expect if you go out with them on another night, someone will be drunk enough to fill you in after they've decided you're alright - which they will do. It's early days at primary, other mums can make life a lot easier for you, so I wouldn't. Dismiss their friendship straightaway....give them the benefit of the doubt....wouldn't surprise me if they are aware of this thread though.

But arborio rice, a pint of milk and a spoonful of sugar makes a mean rice pudding, K8M