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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be outraged by children's centre

263 replies

quertas · 04/10/2013 20:25

I've just received a letter from my local children's centre congratulating me in the birth of my baby (well he was born 3 months ago so thanks but the moment for congrats has rather passed) and stating that 'an appointment has been made' for next tues (letter arrived today) for someone to come and visit me at home to tell me about the services at the children's centre. Aibu to see this as a bloody liberty and to wonder where the actual fuck this person gets off inviting herself into my home?

OP posts:
Thurlow · 04/10/2013 20:27

A bit - they are just trying to be helpful and let you know what services they have, and guessing that most people will find it easier to have a visitor to their house rather than going to their children's centre.

WestieMamma · 04/10/2013 20:29

Someone is going to tell you all about the services they provide for young families and have let you know in advance rather than just turning up at your door. The swine. String them up. I'm not even going to mention that they dared to offer congratulations on the birth of your child. Bastards.

YANBU

SantanaLopez · 04/10/2013 20:30

Meh, you need to calm down.

CoolaSchmoola · 04/10/2013 20:30

YABU, she hasn't invited herself IN, they've arranged an appointment to come see you tomorrow tell you about some services that may benefit YOU and your child (the utter bastards!!! fancy offering you something that might help you!) There is no benefit to them.

It's an offer, you can ring and say no thanks and cancel the appointment.

I do find such an extreme reaction a little ott...

LaFataTurchina · 04/10/2013 20:30

YANBU

I work in the field and I think that things like this are absolutly the wrong way of increasing access/supporting potentially vulnerable children yada yada.

If perfectly good well adjusted parents (like yourself I'm assuming) feel affronted by it, and I would feel affronted by it too (and I know all about targets/reach/funding reasons why they do it), then I can only imagine how intrusive and big brothery it must feel to someone who is struggling.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 04/10/2013 20:30

This is standard (I wriggled out of it) but they have a brief to visit all newborns in their area.

moustachio · 04/10/2013 20:31

cancel the appointment and stopping being so fucking moany. It's probably standard practice and if you don't want a visit, tell them so.

lots of new mums (3 months = 12 weeks, still a 'new mum'), do find it hard and I met all my mum friends through the local childrens centre and didn't even know about it until they sent me a letter.

MikeLitoris · 04/10/2013 20:33

Outrageous behaviour. Cheeky sods trying to offer their services.

elcranko · 04/10/2013 20:33

I had similar happen to me, only my letter said that an appointment had been made for me at the children's centre, no one came to my house. I couldn't actually make it the day they gave me so I rang and cancelled it. It would be easier if the letter told us to call and make an appointment if we were interested, no ones time would be wasted that way.

CoffeeTea103 · 04/10/2013 20:33

FFS!! Outraged ?? Damn them for being concerned and trying to provide something that might benefit you. You really need a massive reality check in life to realize how lucky you are that something like this exists. You ungrateful woman you are very very unreasonable.

CoolaSchmoola · 04/10/2013 20:34

*to not tomorrow, bloody phone.

Are your reactions always this extreme?(Wondering if they've been asked to reach out to you. I know GPs, social services, hv and the police have been known to ask children's centres to offer support when there are low level needs which would benefit from informal input. It might also explain the three months post birth.

LadyintheRadiator · 04/10/2013 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuburbanRhonda · 04/10/2013 20:35

lafataturchina, you work in the field, but are quite happy to make massive assumptions about the OP's parenting capacity based on a post on a parenting forum?

PrinceRogersNelson · 04/10/2013 20:37

Maybe if health visitors had visited Hamzah Khan he wouldn't have died after being starved by his mother.

Twattyzombiebollocks · 04/10/2013 20:38

I had one of these. I didn't find it intrusive at all. I was actually interested in what services the children's centre offered as I haven't really used one before as dd1 was past the baby stage when they were phased in. The woman was lovely, non judgmental, asked me a few things about what sort of groups I would be interested in (if any) and gave me a pamphlet with all the classes and days and times etc.
She wasn't there to offer advice, just to make sure I was aware of what was available should i wish to use the centre.

Rooners · 04/10/2013 20:38

Yanbu - the last thing you need with a newborn is unsolicited visitors.

I got given a bunch of leaflets at the centre when I went to see the HV - but there was no obligation to join or to fill anything in.

I hate that sort of thing so I left it.

I would hate to be told someone was intending to come round to my house, for a start, it was in a complete state sothat would stress me out completely, and I'd be afraid it was compulsory or that they would be casing me as a potential SS referral or something.

Honestly - why would they even do this?

SuburbanRhonda · 04/10/2013 20:38

Good point, prince, but at the moment they can be refused entry, which may be what happened in that case Sad

Floggingmolly · 04/10/2013 20:38

Perfectly good well adjusted parents generally wouldn't feel "affronted" by this, LaFata Hmm. Why would they? If she feels no need of the services they offer; a polite no thanks is perfectly adequate...

meganorks · 04/10/2013 20:39

Fair enough for 1st child. But I got one for second too. I know all the services, largely because they send me two bloody texts about every group!
Only got 2 days notice and didn't specify a time just a day. I wasn't in so they left a note saying 'if you would like us to visit again call...' I didn't but they still came. This time with no notice.

Original poster
quertas · 04/10/2013 20:39

I'm happy that they're offering, but it just seems such a liberty to invite themselves round. If I'd had a letter asking if I wanted a home visit I could've politely declined or ignored it as appropriate. This one just says if the time's inconvenient to phone, bit that this is optional. They are effectively flogging services in competion with private sector providers if the same services. It seems outrageous to me that they can just arrange an appointment AND at my flipping house no less to do this iyswim

OP posts:
Rooners · 04/10/2013 20:40

Coola that is a particularly nasty an uncalled for thing for you to say to the OP.

People are giving her a kicking for the fun of it I think but that sinks really low.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 04/10/2013 20:43

I have to say, I did actually go to a Sure Start group, and so had contact with them there, but I hate, absolutely hate having well-meaning people like that coming into my home and my tolerance of MWs and HVs was up by that time (I stress about the tidiness of my house, without fail they comment on the number of books we have, as if that's bad(!!), their timing is abysmal and they were frequently inane and patronising .....). They mostly mean well; need I say more?

CandidaDoyle · 04/10/2013 20:43

Is this is a joke?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 04/10/2013 20:43

The pains in the arses on this thread dont include the OP

Rooners · 04/10/2013 20:44

Unless I misunderstood your tone in which case I apologise.