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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be outraged by children's centre

263 replies

quertas · 04/10/2013 20:25

I've just received a letter from my local children's centre congratulating me in the birth of my baby (well he was born 3 months ago so thanks but the moment for congrats has rather passed) and stating that 'an appointment has been made' for next tues (letter arrived today) for someone to come and visit me at home to tell me about the services at the children's centre. Aibu to see this as a bloody liberty and to wonder where the actual fuck this person gets off inviting herself into my home?

OP posts:
KirjavaTheCorpse · 04/10/2013 21:15

Well exactly, it's not unreasonable to think that it might be assumed that if an appointment has been made for you, without your consent, that you have no choice but to agree to it. Like it's something important.

"An appointment has been made for someone to come and visit you at your home to discuss..." sounds a bit... I don't know, official. Maybe that's just me.

Thurlow · 04/10/2013 21:15

Jitney - If they want to target vulnerable families then they need to do that...not foist themselves on those who aren't targets.

And how would they know who is who without meeting anyone...?

mysticminstrel · 04/10/2013 21:17

LaFata - your use of the word affronted was perfectly in context and I, too, would have been affronted by it.

I am a perfectly well-rounded and capable parent but I would find somebody TELLING me that they had made an appointment at MY OWN HOME presumptuous and rude.

SecretWitch · 04/10/2013 21:17

quertas, I would not be happy with an agency making an appointment for me and then sending me notification they were planning to show up at my home. Ring the centre and cancel, no explanations needed.

alcibiades · 04/10/2013 21:20

If they had written to inform the OP of their services, that would be fine.

If they had written to offer a home appointment, that would be fine.

It's the "we will be visiting at a time decided by us" that is presumptuous.

And that attitude risks alienating people - which is the last thing they should be doing.

meganorks · 04/10/2013 21:20

Back it up - did someone just say 'baby journey'?!

mysticminstrel · 04/10/2013 21:22

Meganorks Grin I winced at that!

NoForkNKnife · 04/10/2013 21:22

But Thurlow in ny area, the CC isn't the sane as the HV. The letter is from the CC. I was having regular phone contact with the hv team while dd was in hospital (7 weeks). I don't understand why that information can't be shared between them. If the hv team has referred them on, fair enough.

I too thought this letter was about important health checks. It wasn't until the hv explained who it was from that I got so angry (I realise I had exceptional circumstances).
Why can't the CC and the HV work together?!

Rooners · 04/10/2013 21:26

I wouldn't go over the top about it or get snarky with them or demand they do anything etc etc

But I would ring up and say that actually I'd rather they didn't make appointments at my house on an opt out basis as I might be out when they arrive, and have forgotten to tell them, or have lost the letter entirely in a pile of unopened mail dating back several weeks.

None of this would be deliberate but it might get the point across. I would thank them politely but decline. They are trying to do a difficult job and I can see their reasons, I think, but still. Bit of a blunder.

bimbabirba · 04/10/2013 21:26

I agree with the OP and Lafataturchina. It's not very helpful to make an appointment under these circumstances and a massive waste of resources. A phone call to introduce the service would have been better and taken up less time.
I wouldn't be outraged by the Children's centre wasting public money tbh.

Thurlow · 04/10/2013 21:27

I know, mega Grin I quite like it. Maybe I'll see how many times I can slip it into comments to friends.

Fork, I'm sure information can be shared. I just don't see why its such a terrible thing that an organisation responsible for supporting families is being knocked for being proactive and trying to make contact with families.

bimbabirba · 04/10/2013 21:27

*I WOULD be outraged, rather

beachesandbuckets · 04/10/2013 21:27

I had one of these, for a baby that I had miscarried at 12 weeks. You can imagine how that made me feel, and the conversation I subsequently had with them.

Nanny0gg · 04/10/2013 21:30

*quertas, I would not be happy with an agency making an appointment for me and then sending me notification they were planning to show up at my home. Ring the centre and cancel, no explanations needed.

What's the difference between this and the midwife and HV visits you get after the birth of your child.

I would rather 100 affronted women than one missed vulnerable child.

Charlottehere · 04/10/2013 21:37

It's great children's centres offer free or v. Low cost activities

Thurlow · 04/10/2013 21:37

I would rather 100 affronted women than one missed vulnerable child - much more succinctly put than I managed, Nanny

LittleMissWise · 04/10/2013 21:37

It wouldn't have bothered me at all.

We didn't have children's centres when mine were babies and toddlers. I wish we had.

Canthaveitall · 04/10/2013 21:41

YANBU. This would get my back up as well as it's intrusive. It's not an essential service so there is no need for them to be so pushy. I would either phone and cancel or see what they have to say. I don't think I would be fuming about it but can see where you are coming from.

MrsDeVere · 04/10/2013 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 04/10/2013 22:00

I think the problem the CCs face, is that the people who come along to them tend to be the confident, coping ones (to an extent); it's the ones who are struggling who find it difficult.
So how to reach out to them without being a PITA to those who are just fine, thanks? 'S a dilemma.

What happened to you is awful, beachesandbuckets, they've got to be able to avoid that sort of thing.

MrsDeVere · 04/10/2013 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jessieagain · 04/10/2013 22:25

I wouldn't have a problem with it. I prefer letters to phone calls about things like this.

Also it is much easier having someone visit when you have a small baby

You can always cancel if you don't want a visit. Or you could ring up and ask if you can have the appointment there instead.

Yabu for getting upset over this.

SauvignonBlanche · 04/10/2013 22:32

YABU to be 'outraged',you can always politely decline.
My DSis, on the other hand could reasonably have been upset by their contact as she lost her DD at 37 weeks so was a bit confused when they called.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 04/10/2013 22:32

quertas I would be pissed off too! They have not made an 'Appointment'. Perhaphs they need a dictionary? An Appointment: a fixed mutual agreement for a meeting I fail to see any 'mutually agreement' here. They are foisting themselves upon you at a time convenient to them and inconveniencing YOU, even if it's just a phone call to tell them to piss off cancel. It is unwanted, uninvited, intrusive & presumptious... it's raised my dander and it wasn't even sent to me!

If their goal is to 'reach out to people' more like hit their quota then they could send out an information pack - if they must.

southeastastra · 04/10/2013 22:36

i would be a bit peed off myself too, would be nice if they offered you a slot to come and see them but not a home visit.

they must have quite a lot of excess cash to be paying staff to do this imo.